Smart Senior

Senior to Senior: Smile Behind the Mask

It’s still possible to make new friends, even in these days of social distancing. It may seem strange at first. You find yourself chatting with these new “friendly” people every time you meet, but you’ve never actually seen their faces. The usual summer/fall garb for seniors consists of a hat, sunglasses, and often a mask; talk about incognito! When you do get around to exchanging pictures, you discover that your new friends don’t look anything like you imagined. The one thing you do know for sure is that there is a smile behind their masks. Face coverings are now a part of our daily appearance, and while you may not like it, it is what it is. A wave of a hand, a nod, and a quick good morning have come to say it all. You may be smiling on the inside of the mask but if no one knows it, is that enough? Let’s see, with only your eyes and your forehead showing, it is hard to tell if a person is smiling or frowning, but it can be done. How do you compensate verbally for losing the ability to express yourself with your face? • Slow down your speech • Change the tone and pitch of your voice • Articulate more clearly • Speak louder Non-verbal communication: • Wear a mask with a smile printed on it • Make eye contact • Convey enthusiasm in other ways (wave, thumbs up gesture, clapping hands together, shrugging shoulder) Smiles are the most effective way to convey warmth, safety, empathy, compassion and gratitude. A smile can lift your spirits like nothing else in the whole world. Try not to let Covid19 erase the smile from your face. For now, words are all we have, so put your best words forward. You are still “you” and they are still “them”; you are still warm friendly human beings. The very fact that they are wearing a mask tells you that they care about you, and that you care about them. Practice if you need to, but let the world know that there is a smile behind your mask.

Senior to Senior: Vulnerable Elderly

Who are these vulnerable elderly people we keep hearing about? Surely, they aren’t talking about us. I mean, we are still getting around, still have “stuff” to do and places to go. We still feel good, most of the time, still have hopes, plans and dreams, and we don’t have time to be sick…right? Vulnerable Elderly include: • Age 70 or older • Under 70 but with underlying health conditions (chronic respiratory diseases, chronic heart disease, chronic kidney failure, chronic liver disease, chronic neurological conditions, diabetes, arthritis, and the like). It’s an eye opener isn’t it? Underlying health conditions sneak up on you rather quickly, and before you know it, you are no long young. Not only that but your immune system is letting you down, and you are truly at risk for getting seriously ill. Vulnerable people are urged to take extra precautions as Covid19 cases continue to rise. • You can go outside but try to keep overall social interactions low • Limit shopping to places where you can easily keep 6 feet away from others • Wear a mask and wash your hands often • Sanitize your home You are lonesome and you are tired of self-isolating, but if you don’t want to die prematurely, you have to go the extra mile. Remember; this virus infects people of all ages, but “vulnerable elderly” individuals are more likely to become seriously/fatally ill than most. Can you trust your children to not bring the virus home? Young people are not always as conscientious as we are. Unless you plan on taking your chances, you will have to put your foot down (good teaching moments). • Let the world know that you aren’t ready to cash in your chips yet. • Set a good example • Set up a social distancing module in your house • Have a basket of masks in the foyer • Have hand sanitizers, soaps, and antiseptic wipes available to all • Get your flu shot; take good care of yourself • Keep your mind and your body active This is not a game. Like it or not; aging changes who you are, and you need to stay in control. Life is precious. Life is good at any age.

Senior to Senior: The Aging Housekeeper

It’s spring! Spring means different things to different people but one thing is a constant; “spring cleaning.” A generation ago spring cleaning was a given, and to ignore it was akin to blasphemy. Thankfully times have changed, but you may get a yen to roll up your sleeves when April showers announce the arrival of spring. You are not alone if you find yourself throwing open “newly cleaned’ windows and rearranging pantry shelves. Don’t be ashamed if you feel less passionate about cleaning than you used to; you have reason enough. Aching joints and flagging energy make housework much more difficult. But what do you do now? Cleaning services, as well as many other small businesses, have been shut down until sometime in the unforeseeable future. You might be bored enough by now to do a little cleaning yourself, perhaps not spring cleaning but, you know, cleaning. The trick is to figure out how to use your time and your flagging energy. Stiff fingers, aching joints, and decreasing energy have to be factored in as you age; you want things to be nice and fresh, but moving furniture and hands and knees scrubbing are out of the question. It’s time to redefine clean and just do what is necessary. Forget spring cleaning; your world isn’t going to end if your blinds don’t get cleaned until July or August instead of in April. If you haven’t done much of your own cleaning for a while you may have forgotten how much work these chores really are, so take it easy: • Schedule your tasks. Do more demanding chores when you have the most energy, and only do one at a time. • Stay put and use shopping and delivery services. • Acknowledge that some days you have more energy than others and plan accordingly. • Clean as you go. If you notice nose prints on the patio door, clean them now. Are you going to do spring cleaning this year? Probably not, but try to clean a little bit at a time and keep clutter to a minimum. Do enough that your cleaners don’t faint when they do come back.

Senior to Senior: Aging Artists and Gifts From the Heart

Gift giving is a crap shoot these days. Everyone wants gift cards, money, or the latest gadgets. What ever happened to gifts given from the heart? It takes a senior to know that a gift from the heart means more than any breakable gadget or toy ever will. Homemade cards, hand knit scarves, paintings, or journals are all worth their weight in gold. Many seniors stopped crafting because family members joked or made snide remarks about “grandma’s little hobbies,” but times have changed. There are many people now who would love to have warm hats, mittens, scarves and blankets. So now, while you are sitting at home wondering what to do with your time, you can discover or rediscover hidden talents that you haven’t thought about for years. If stiff arthritic fingers have made handwork difficult, you will be pleased to know that new ergonomic products are available to make crafting easier. Not only that, but experts feel that rest is not always the answer. Needlework is now looked upon as a form of therapy. Hand work can keep stiff hands mobile and give you a sense of pleasure as well as accomplishment. Ease back into it slowly: • Take frequent breaks • Stretch painful hands and wrists • Stick with easier projects “Why bother, “you say. “Nobody appreciates homemade items anymore.” Not true. Think of ways you can use your crafting skills to help those less fortunate. You can make a difference. What is busywork to one person is “love from the heart” to another. Craft for charities: lap robes, prayers shawls, baby sweaters and afghans will indeed be appreciated by those in need. Don’t know how to knit, crochet, or quilt? Why not learn. You may not be able to go to a class right now but you can find books and even lessons on line. What could be more fun than that? Someone needing a warm blanket isn’t going to mind a dropped stitch or two, and they certainly won’t complain if stitches aren’t perfectly spaced. A special thank you to those who are sewing face masks for individuals and organizations everywhere.

Senior to Senior: Asking For Help

A friend of mine is going through a rough patch; she reinjured her back and hip when helping a neighbor get ready for an event. She is a really good person, and always rallies around when someone asks for help. Much as she enjoys helping others she has learned, the hard way, that she needs to learn how to say “no.” When good intentions result in excessive fatigue or physical distress it is time to regroup. It’s hard to say “no,” but the time comes when you have to accept that chronic illnesses or other disabilities associated with aging mean that some things are going to have to change. What happens when you need help? My friend was willing to admit that she felt “neediness” was embarrassing, and that she has always prided herself on being able to tough it out on her own. It wasn’t that she thought someone else needing help was a bad thing, but that asking for help personally didn’t seem the same. Why is this simple tit for tat concept so hard to accept? Are you just being stubborn or are you afraid of rejection? Would you be embarrassed if your request was refused? You needn’t be. It is hard for anyone to say “no” when someone asks for help. It is human nature to help others in need. Studies show that most people take pleasure in helping others, and that they are unlikely to turn down a reasonable request. Reasonable is the key word. You don’t want to ask for help if you feel that it is going to be a burden to the other person, but please don’t preface your request with “I don’t want to be a bother.” Never do the guilt trip thing; always give them the option of a polite refusal. Chances are, at the very least, they will be happy to help problem solve. People get pleasure out of helping others; it makes their day, brightens their smile, gives them a feeling of self-worth and importance. Your job is to learn how to be grateful and to reciprocate in ways that are physically possible.

Senior to Senior: Creativity

Creativity is innate. I read somewhere that everyone is born with a certain amount of creativity, but most either don’t recognize it, or they have had to put it aside until later, much later. The shame of it all is that somewhere along the line thoughts of “not being good enough” creeps in, and creativity dies. Try to remember that you do indeed have a creative side. Understand that creativity does not just relate to music, art, dance, or writing. Anything that piques your interest is fair game. As child you were passionate about everything, the sky was the limit. What happened? Allow your creative side to flourish again. Revisit arts, crafts, or hobbies that piqued your interest long ago. If you truly enjoy yourself you will find that creativity reduces stress, combats depression, and alleviate loneliness (conditions often associated with older people). People are living longer; many of them are looking for ways to make their extra years more fulfilling. Now is the time to reactivate your hidden talents; the time is right. So, what if forty or fifty years have gone by; you can knit something besides a potholder, you can pick up a paint brush again, learn a foreign language, explore your ancestry or write something fun and memorable. Stop dithering. You now have time. The kids have left home and a pension has allowed you to retire. You are free to do what you want and you don’t have to worry about what others think. Be more creative: • Pick something that you like to do whether it writing your memoirs. knitting or playing an instrument. • Do not compare your work to others. • Immerse yourself in what you are doing; enjoy the process. As adults we need more fun and creativity in our lives. Your art will give you something fun and productive to do while keeping your mind off from pain and the other stresses associated with aging. Creativity knows no age limit.

Senior to Senior: New Year Resolutions

As a senior you have seen it all. New Year Resolutions have come and gone and you may even be thinking “why bother.” Still, you have to admit that there is something exciting about the idea of “starting over.” A new day, a new week, a new month, and yes, a new year undoubtedly fills you with hopeful intentions. You may feel a bit disheartened if you have been making and breaking the same resolutions every year, but chances are you are ready to have another go at it. This year will be different. Why is it that you haven’t succeeded in the past? Instead of just making blanket statements about health and fitness, try something different. Start by examining what it was that kept you from succeeding the last forty or fifty times. You make a resolution because you want to “start over.” A new beginning so to speak; a fresh start, an opportunity to master a hobby, learn a language, or change an old habit that has been dragging you down. You aren’t looking to change good habits. It is the bad habits that hang over your head. You’ve tried to change, over and over again, but this time you will succeed. Keep thinking “older and wiser.” Researchers say you need to replace bad habits with good ones. Something equally rewarding; a walk, a hot bath, taking a class that is particularly interesting to you, learning how to knit, or training for a marathon. Top new years resolutions generally revolve around spending more time with family and friends, physical fitness, cutting back on smoking or drinking, curbing impulsive spending, learning something new, helping others and getting your life in order. Lofty goals, but you might want to narrow the field. Pick just one or two and have reasonable expectations. Do it because you really want to and because it is something that will make you healthy and happy. It isn’t too late to change or learn something new. Be optimistic and do it your way.

Senior to Senior: Winter Makeovers

Christmas decorations are an important rite of passage. Seniors everywhere continue to feel compelled to bring the spirit of the holidays into their homes. For some a small artificial tree or wreath on the door will suffice, but others can’t resist being drawn into friendly neighborhood competitions that light up the whole street. No matter how you look at it, it is fun to get into the spirit of things. When the holidays are over and it is time to dismantle the tree, put your collection of Santa pillows away, and box up the nutcracker until next year, you may feel a certain amount of loss. The trick is to keep the holiday spirit alive during the rest of the year. It doesn’t have to be difficult. Make an early new year resolution to spend January sprucing up your home, a winter makeover so to speak. If you thought of it early enough you might have put new towels, sheets and pillows on your Christmas list. It isnt too late; last minute shoppers and overnight delivery companies won’t mind last-minute hints at all. If all else fails take advantage of the white sales that start in January, and do it all yourself. • Older houses are notorious for small windows and heavy drapery, not to mentioned slipcovered couches. You may not be able to do a full-scale remodel but blinds and filmy window dressing will let in some light. • Add color. Spring for a pretty comforter, replace lampshades, or get new throw pillows for the couch. Sometimes painting one wall white or yellow can change the whole room. • Add light. Replace 60-watt bulbs with the highest wattage possible, or go crazy buying nightlights, undercounter lights, and special reading lamps. • Bring nature into the house. Cut flowers, plants, and a tiny herb garden on the kitchen windowsill will bring your rooms alive. Brighten your life, inside and out. Focus on the here and now. Find ways to enjoy each moment. Brighten up your room, your apartment, or your whole house.

Senior to Senior: Older Pets for Older People

We’ve had pets in our house for as long as I remember. Fifty-three years ago, a young man rescued my cat from a tree; he has been rescuing all of us ever since. We’ve always had two pets at a time because pets need company too, so never a dull moment. We’ve reached the age when bringing a youngster into our home is out of the question. Adoption agencies are pretty fussy these days, if you know what I mean; we are now considered “at risk” parents. Sad but true. Does this mean we have to resign ourselves to being pet less for the rest of our lives? Not necessarily. Researchers all agree that seniors who have pets tend to remain independent longer, cope with stress better, and are less likely to experience loneliness and depression. What do you do to assure your pet won’t outlive you? Well you can’t, but you can lower the odds by adopting a slightly “used” pet of a less active breed. The needs of an older dog are different; instead of chew toys and long walks, you need to think about senior proofing your house, just like you are doing for yourself. A slippery floor can be dangerous; think about adding area rugs or runners with skid proof pads if you or your senior pet are having mobility issues. Fido will appreciate an orthopedic bed, and if you want a couch buddy or a bed partner you will want to buy a padded stair step. Your senior pets still need stimulation and exercise so you won’t be off the hook, but a senior pet will be happy with just a walk around the block. I knew a lady who walked her cat on a leash, and another who walked around the neighborhood with her gray parrot on her shoulder. Your veterinarian will answer questions about diet, immunizations, medications and other issues to resolve. There are volunteer organizations for pet sitting, pet walking, or providing transportation for veterinary visits. Contract with family or friends to provide care if you should become incapacitated, and do remember Fido in your will.

Senior to Senior: Breakfast

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. You already know that, but what if the thought of food first thing in the morning just doesn’t cut it for you. Some of us are not morning people and that’s okay. It becomes problematic if you, like many seniors, go to bed earlier than you used to. By the time you get up you have been fasting for 10-12 hours and that’s a very long time. Your tank is on empty. Malnutrition is a problem for many older adults and not eating breakfast doesn’t help. You really do need to eat three-four times a day if you are going to fit in all the nutrients necessary for optimal health. If all else fails put your coffee in a “to-go” cup and go for a walk. You will feel like eating when you get home. Eating breakfast is associated with improved strength and endurance, but food charts can be pretty scary. Trying to figure out how to eat something from every food group is daunting, especially if you aren’t hungry. When you eat is individual; some people wake up hungry and some need to wait an hour or two, but don’t wait too long. You need to eat if you are going to have strong bones and joints, as well as enough energy to face the day. Common excuses include: • You don’t have time because of volunteer or family responsibilities. For a quick pick-me-up keep portable foods like string cheese, yogurt tubes, hard boiled eggs, protein bars or fruit on hand. • Breakfast foods are boring. You don’t have to eat the same cereal or toast every morning. There is nothing wrong, with snacking on a crackers and cheese, dried fruit, or last night’s leftovers. • Breakfast makes you sleepy. It doesn’t have to; skip the muffins and donuts and eat healthy alternatives. • You would rather sleep-in and skip breakfast. Don’t wait for lunch; grab something small and get something into your stomach. There are many good breakfast choices that are high in protein including eggs, cheese, meats and yogurt. Sometimes the most challenging aspect is having the right ingredients on hand. Stock your kitchen with nutritious foods.