Smart Senior

Senior Living: Happiness and Longevity

Longevity is in the news again, but what does it all mean. You’ve probably discovered by now that old age is catching up with you, even if you have played by all the rules. A healthy diet, exercise, plenty of rest, and social engagements have stood you in good stead, but researchers now tell us that it is not enough. The real key to longevity, they say, is “happiness.” That sounds easy enough, but is it? What if you are not a “feel good” happy kind of person. Does that mean that you can’t have a few more good years? Is it possible to learn how to be happy? Psychologist say that the odds are in our favor. Odds sounds a lot like math, but then numbers are something that we can all understand. Researchers suggest that 50% of our ability to be happy is genetically determined, 10% is governed by what is going on in our lives, and the rest is up to us. We are gifted with a 40% chance of making significant changes in our lives. Happy people enjoy the company of others and they enjoy setting “happiness goals.” Happiness is thought to encompass one’s ability to be grateful, forgiving, kind, optimistic and resilient. Big words that sound a lot like work, but we have time. Start by setting some goals. Think of goal setting as making a big to-do list. Goal setting, after all, is the best way to come up with a plan. A plan for today, a plan for the week, for the month, for the year and for a lifetime. You may think that you are too old to have goals, but give it some thought: • Goals setting is a sign that you have control over your life. • Goal setting gives structure and meaning to your life. • Goal setting stimulates your mind. Having goals serves as a reminder that you can still learn, contribute, and share. It is never too late to be a better and a happier person. Consider it a plus if it helps you live longer.

Senior Living: Smile

Electronic gadgets have made it easier to communicate, but they have robbed us of what I like to call the “human touch.” Somewhere along the line we have lost the ability to make contact with real flesh and blood people. When was the last time you smiled at a stranger? We can’t blame seniors for this, but they aren’t as helpful as they could be. Seniors are hardly ever portrayed as happy smiling individuals, which could be the reason why movies like Grumpy Old Men are so popular. When did people start losing touch? Did it happen all at once or did it happen gradually? When did being self-absorbed and aloof become the norm? Is it that people are too busy or too preoccupied to make the effort, or are they afraid that their smile won’t be returned? It could just be that they are just shy, or that a rebuff might remind them of what they have lost; small-town friendliness. Think of a smile as paying your good cheer forward. Put a smile on your face when you wake up, and keep on smiling throughout the day. Think about it; you might make a new friend or cheer up a sad soul. Experiment a little. Smile at the first 10 people you meet today and see what happens. It doesn’t have to be a big toothy smile, just a little upward curve of your lips will do. Don’t be afraid. What’s the worst that could happen? If they don’t smile back or if they give you a weird look, that’s their problem not yours. Why anyone want to walk around with an unpleasant negative frown when, with a little bit of effort, they could look pleasant and approachable. Who is the weird one now? A smile is universal. It costs nothing and it takes only a few minutes. Say hello to people that you pass on the street, in the hall at work, or to the neighbor working in his yard. Be a role model; teach your grandkids the importance of a smile.

Senior Living: Dealing With Holiday Blues

If binge-watching warm fuzzy movies doesn’t do the trick, you might need to think of other “feel good” pursuits to help you navigate the holidays. You are not alone if you have mixed feeling about the holidays, but at least give yourself a chance. People smile more, give more, and interact with others more often during the holidays, and we all need that. Don’t let the holiday doldrums keep you from spreading a little joy. It’s true, family activities and community expectations can be overwhelming, but take a deep breath and take it all in. Decide if it worse to feel pressured because you have “too much” to do, or to be depressed because you are all alone and don’t have enough to do? You too can get through the holidays with your sanity intact: • Plan ahead. Be realistic about what you want to accomplish before the holidays arrive. Those hit the hardest are the classic last-minute shoppers and those who volunteer to do too much. • Take care of yourself. It isn’t good to isolate yourself but don’t shop or party until you drop either. Indulge yourself. Treat yourself to a massage or have one of those delicious hot steamed apple cider drinks only available this time of year. • Don’t over extend yourself. Parcel out your moments when it comes to how much time you can spend on decorating, shopping, baking, PTA responsibilities, sending cards or attending or hosting parties. • Take advantage of social opportunities even if you don’t feel like it. If partying isn’t your cup of tea, and it isn’t everyone’s, invite others to come to you. If you live alone volunteer to help out at your church or community center. Recognize that it may be time to let some holiday responsibilities go. You want to stay in the loop, but be realistic about what you can or cannot do. Give yourself time to smile more, give more and interact with others more.

Senior Living: Holiday Spirit

Where is your holiday spirit? Surely there is something, whether you admit it or not, that gives you a warm fuzzy feeling. What is your special something? Christmas carols, holiday decorations, tree lighting ceremonies, gingerbread houses, holiday parties, or an open invitation to shop until you drop, you name it. My special something is the countdown to Christmas movies on television. Until recently I felt a little sheepish about admitting how much I enjoyed them. I always thought of them as my “guilty little secret,” until I discovered that I was not alone. I was quite pleased when I read an article in the Wall Street Journal by Katherine Bindley on Friday, November 30, 2018. It seems my little secret is shared by millions of other fans. During the holidays, we all want to feel that certain something. It explains why audiences gravitate toward feel-good, family friendly stories about nice people finding their happily ever after. In an age when movies and television series often deal with the darker and edgier side of life, it is nice to find that “feel good” movies still have a place in our jaded culture. You might be surprised to learn how many people, now that they are out of the closet so to speak, admit to binge watching holiday themed movies. The stories are predictable but in a nice way; the characters are clean cut, educated, nice, ordinary people. They go to church and they help other people; just regular folks. Predictable yes, but in a nice way. At times stories about event planners and cookie cutter contests get a little tiresome, but then they come up with something really special like The Veteran’s Christmas or I’ll Be Home for Christmas, and I get hooked all over again. If you need something to get you in the spirit of things, make yourself a cup of hot chocolate (from scratch not from a package) and binge watch a few dozen warm fuzzy holiday movies. Unlike twenty-four a day news coverage and stories about bombings and terrorists you can truly sit back and decompress.

Independent Living: The Cane

Don’t let bad knees cramp your style. Stand tall, look the world in the eye and don’t let the thought of using a cane send you into a tizzy. In days gone by the cane was an important fashion accessory; when did we let it become a sign of disability and defeat? Just knowing that you are doing something positive for yourself should make you feel strong and powerful. For people with arthritis or other joint issues, a cane can mean the difference between dependence and independence. It is time to get over the idea that using a cane or a walker makes you look old and useless. If you are wondering if a cane or other walking aid is for you, talk to your doctor or a physical therapist. No borrowing a neighbor’s cane; a professional evaluation and training are a must if you are going to do this right. A cane does not define who you are, unless you want it too. If a cane helps you walk, when without it you could not, it is worth the effort. The main purpose of the cane is to give you physical support, but it can be a pretty handy tool in other ways too. Use it to retrieve dropped or out of reach articles. Use it to scratch the itch in the center of your back. Use your cane as a pointer or to push a doorbell. Here’s one you are going to like: Think of your cane as a weapon; remember Steed in the Avenger? Find a self-defense class and learn how to use your cane as a weapon. Stand tall and take a few swipes in the air; makes you feel powerful doesn’t it? Attitude is everything. Go ahead and accessorize your cane or buy one made of exotic wood. People will notice an unusual cane and they will comment on it. Believe me, people will speak up if your cane matches your outfit or sports a holiday decoration. You will actually be doing them a favor because they don’t have to pretend not to notice your pain. Be confident. Let the world know you are still here, you are walking and you are as strong and independent as ever.

Senior Living: The Perfect Gift

It is never too early, or too late, to shop for presents. Regardless, try being a little creative this year. What are you going to give mom, dad and the “grands”? People spend hours browsing through retail and antique stores looking for the perfect gift, but they often come up empty handed. Face it, seniors don’t need more “stuff” that they will never use, especially more pajamas, nightgowns, slippers or robes. Granted finding the perfect gift isn’t easy, especially when they tell you that they don’t need or want anything at all, but that’s silly. Everyone has a secret list of things that they would like to have but can’t afford, or think they can’t afford, to buy themselves. At times like these it is difficult to be creative, but try to ignore these self-effacing statements and do the right thing. Ergo, seniors need to cooperate too. This means they need to hint broadly and post a list on the refrigerator door. • Think about your senior’s health; a one-year membership at a fitness club or at the local senior center is a fine way to show that you care. • Make up food baskets; not a once a year offering of holiday goodies, but a month to month gift of fruits, soups, crackers, cheeses, breads and other kitchen staples. • Pay for an older adult’s prescription medications for a year, and have them delivered. • Pre-purchase cab fares or bus service or take them out once a week for appointments and shopping. • Gift with a medical alert system, a closed caption phone or other practical safety features. • Volunteer or hire a handyman to winterize their homes, pay for a cleaning service, or shovel snow. If your senior has everything, you can give them the latest books (e-book or hard back), audio books, coupons, art or hobby supplies, or gift certificates at a favorite restaurant. There are many ideas for gifts but nothing is more important than showing them that you care. Forget the chocolates and lap robes and give gifts that they need but are reluctant to buy for themselves. Christmas, birthdays and anniversaries will indeed be dates to remember.

Senior Living: Dental Health

I went to the dentist and lived to tell about it. Seriously, it was painless and affordable. I thought this might be a good time to remind you that routine dental care is important for seniors too. You made your kids go to the dentist and now I am hoping it is your turn. As a child going to the dentist was all about cavities, as a teen it was about braces, as an adult the emphasis became more cosmetic in nature. White teeth and a pretty smile; those were the days. As a senior the emphasis is on health and well-being. It is time to forget about the little space between your front teeth or the slightly crooked canines, or the crowns or the bridges. The focus now is on keeping your own teeth and preventing the gum disease that could trash your health. The good news, thanks to improved dental technology, is that more and more seniors are keeping their own teeth. The not so good news is that because you are keeping your teeth you are in danger of developing an oral infection (a.k.a. periodontal disease or a gum infection). All of a sudden, the news of “no cavities” isn’t good enough, it’s those tiny measurements that they do now. Measurements that indicate how much your gums have receded since last year. “Oh no,” you say. “I’ve never had a seven before.” If that isn’t enough, you have to worry that the bacteria associated with gum disease will migrate, via the blood stream, to others parts of your body. Now we are talking serious trouble. Given the health risks associated with poor oral hygiene the importance of seeing your dentist regularly should be a no-brainer. Unfortunately lack of dental insurance, lack of transportation, phobias, and even difficulty wielding dental appliances can make good dental hygiene difficult. Still there is much to learn about things like dry mouth, fluoride treatments, oral cancer, denture care and new and improved appliances. Oral Health matters. Healthy aging starts and ends with your mouth. Put your fears aside because modern dentistry had come a long way. You have nothing to fear and most dentists have reasonable plans and senior discounts.

Senior Living: Have a Happy Day

Retirement is great or it should be, but if you wake up feeling cranky more often than not, something is not quite right. Researchers have been studying seniors for some time now, and the conclusions drawn have been rather alarming. The Stress that became such a driving force in our generation seems to have followed us into retirement. If you still feel strapped, tired, and bummed out, you must be doing something wrong. Stress, sadness, and unhappiness do not belong in your life. Wake up in the morning and think about something pleasant that you want do today. If you need more structure than that, set up a calendar for the whole week. • Pencil in time to read or to visit with a friend (an e-mail, letter, a phone call or lunch date). • Every day do something that give you pleasure (gardening, painting, reading, hiking, cooking). • Do something good for your health (a walk, go to the gym 2-3 times a week, plan healthy meals). Your bliss doesn’t have to come with a big price tag. Try cheap and simple ways to enhance your pleasure: • Smile at a stranger. • Buy yourself a bouquet of flowers. • Take your dog for a walk. Being around animals is known to reduce stress and lower blood pressure. Sounds easy enough doesn’t it? Let’s look even further: • Every once in a while, indulge your sweet tooth. Be sure to savor each and every bite. • Sing along to soothing music when stuck in traffics, or skip the freeway and take the scenic way home. • Pamper yourself with a bubble bath or a massage. Get a manicure just for the heck of it. Be good to yourself. Give yourself permission to be happy. Cultivate a sense of humor; smile and laugh more. Think about what you enjoy and build on it. Do something that makes you happy today.

Senior Living: Adopt a Senior Pet

Are you lonesome? Would you like to have one more shot at having a four-footed friend in your life? It isn’t too late. You may not feel you can deal with the responsibility and hard work associated with adopting a puppy or a kitten, but please consider inviting a “senior pet” into your home. A senior pet for a senior person. It doesn’t get any better than that. It’s a well know fact that pet ownership is good for you. People who have pets are healthier and happier, and whether you think so or not, they really are nicer people. Don’t spend another minute alone. Someone out there needs you as much as you need them. Think about it: A senior pet will already be trained, and they will not chew or scratch or make demands that you can’t meet. Welcome a pet who will be perfectly happy to snuggle in your lap or settle for a leisurely stroll around the block. That doesn’t sound too hard does it? Don’t let your age deter you. Unless you adopt a parrot, the chances that you will outlive your pet are still pretty good. The odds increase if you consider that contact with animals is known to lower blood pressure, reduce anxiety and tension, and even prolong life. Check with your state Division on Aging for special deals on foods and veterinary services for seniors with pets. The rest is easy; treat your senior pet the same way you would like to be treated yourself. • Give them loads of TLC (that’s tender loving care). • Remember that pets get arthritis too. Keep them warm in winter and splurge on a nice orthopedic bed, joint supplements, and good food. • Incontinence can plague anyone. Consider medications, judicious use of pee pads, or britches like the kind people wear. • Mobility issues. Make life easier on those with tender joints. A pet step, raised food and water bowls, gentle walks, or a carrier or pram for trips to the park. The best friends are old friends. Adopting a senior pet will keep you young and make you a better person.

Senior Living: How Much Sleep Do You Need

How much sleep do you really need? Sleep and aging are topics often coupled and I am sick of hearing about it. Researchers have been trying to frighten us “non-sleepers” to death for years. Everything from dementia to death have been attributed to sleep deprivation. The statistics are scary. They tell us that if we don’t get eight hours of sleep every night we could die tomorrow. My husband, the geneticist, has been assuring me for years that everyone’s sleep needs are individual, and that they are based on our genetic make-up. This is all well and good but as he is a guy who can fall asleep at the drop of a hat, I was still a little bit suspicious. I finally found a number of articles that agreed with my “theory” that sleep isn’t all that it is cracked up to be. Yes, sleep is nice, but the fact that I am a “non-sleeper,” doesn’t necessarily mean that I will fall victim to one or all of those dire consequences. I wake up often and I wake up early but guess what, as far as I know or want to find out, I do not have a sleep disorder and I am not tired during the day. Guidelines say that we should sleep eight hours every night, but there is no absolute amount of sleep that everyone has to have. How you feel and how you function during the day is what is important. There is no denying that a good night sleep is important if you want to feel great when you wake up. Seek help if this isn’t happening for you but stop worrying if you don’t sleep the same number of hours as your spouse or your best friend. Everyone’s sleep needs are different. Whether you are a night owl or a morning lark is immaterial. The key is getting the amount that is right for you; quality instead of quantity. The starting point, which you already know, harkens back to having a regular bedtime, avoiding stimulants, and creating a calming routine. You may need a white noise machine, a meditation session, a glass of warm milk or a cup of chamomile tea. Experiment and find what works for you.