Smart Senior

Senior to Senior: Seniors Play Solitaire

If you like to play cards you probably took umbrage when a certain somebody said it was a waste of time. I had all but given up playing cards in the years before the pandemic, but the waste of time remark prompted me to search out a well-worn deck of cards. One of my favorite books, made into a movie, was about an “older” woman wiling away hours in a prison cell, learning 72 ways to plays to play solitaire. It occupied her time and as it turned out, the microfilm was in the deck of cards. Well, no microfilm in my cards but playing solitaire has always been a great way to relax and calm the mind. I like to think of solitaire as an inexpensive tranquillizer that, while mildly addictive, is not harmful to your health. Some say it is a way to delay dementia because it stimulates the brain. Who am I to argue about that? We learned to play card games and to build houses out of cards; it was quite a fete. Busy work, sure, but remember when we were kids, we didn’t have internet, movies or computer games. All we had and needed was a deck of playing cards. I prefer physical cards and find the exercise of shuffling therapeutic for osteoarthritic hands, but by all means, play a digital version if necessary. Stuck in traffic or on public transportation; crank up your phone or iPad for a digital game. Not quite the same, but it will do. The best part is that you don’t have to round up another person to play with; it is all about you. You won’t always win, and cheating is taboo, but there is always a glimmer of hope that you will prevail. Is it really a waste of time? If you have an anxious mind, and many of us do (always thinking ahead, planning the next event, worrying about everything) solitaire is for you. Solitaire. Just the right level of absorption to let your mind reset. The structure and symmetry, the repetition, and the simplicity, are all soothing to the busy brain. Don’t let anyone shame you into giving up this simple pleasure.

Senior to Senior: Color Me Senior

I met, alright, I was passed by an older woman, the other day when I was hiking. Not surprising because my dog likes to sniff every bush, but she caught my eye because she was wearing a pretty turquoise shirt. Of course, I felt compelled to tell her how much I liked it. She whirled around to show me the bright melon shell that she wore beneath it. The vibrant color and her obvious joy in wearing it took my breath away. Color; that’s what we need; more color in our lives. Fifty years ago, we didn’t do color much. As young women we were groomed to wear neutral colors because we wanted to look slim and elegant, and we wanted to be taken seriously. An entire generation of little brown wrens, and men too, wore a serious uniform of sorts. Now-a-days people are free to use clothing to express their personalities. This is a good thing, although there are times when the uniform-of-today is a little over the top, but not usually in regard to color. So why color? If 2020 was a color; it would have been gray. Not a lovely soft gray but a stormy cloudy kind of gray. Enough gray already. It’s bad enough having gray hair, gray tinged skin, faded eyebrows and white chin hairs. Older people need color! Research shows that colors can influence your mood, your personality, and even how you feel physically. Did you know that certain colors can inspire delight, agitation, creativity, sensuality, calmness, and a multitude of other emotion and feelings? Still a little reluctant to abandon your neutral but serviceable wardrobe? You can add color to your life in other ways; a little red car, a kitchen painted yellow, or flowers on the table. You can never have too much color in your life. Look at nature. Nature is filled with color. Emulate nature and you will feel amazing. Add color to your life; wear that turquoise shirt over a bright contrasting shell…why not. It says “I’m still here,” and “look at me,” and “I feel good about myself.” Let color define who you are or who you would like to be.

Senior to Senior: Reading as Therapy

If you are a big-time reader you’ve probably never thought of reading as therapy. It’s a welcome thought though, and it gets you off the hook for all those trips to the bookstore. On the other hand, if you don’t like to read you probably think that reading is an exercise in futility; painful, boring, or just plain too much work. When faced with life’s challenges, readers and non-readers alike often turn to books for inspiration and solutions. Self-help books leap off the shelves, but it isn’t the content that does the trick, it is the sheer act of reading. People read non-fiction and self-help books to expand their reading knowledge but reading fiction, just for the fun of it, is different. Psychological studies show that reading, especially fiction, is a good way to calm your mind and lift your spirits. A few minutes of reading is equal to, or better than, exercising or listening to music when you need to de-stress. Exercise is always good, and listening to music is lovely, but wouldn’t you rather curl up with a good book? Reading is relaxing, but while you are relaxing your brain continues to work. This is a good thing, especially for seniors. You’ll be pleased to know that reading can help slow the cognitive decline associated with ageing. If you don’t know how to read; learn. If you don’t like to read; give it another chance. A good book is like a good friend. You will never feel lonely if you have a stack of books on your nightstand. If you feel that reading fiction is a luxury you cannot afford right now, think again. Research really does suggest that 30 minutes of reading can ease your pain. Don’t relax too much though. You want to read, not doze off after the first chapter. Listening to an audio book is good too, but do it while walking or working around the house or it will put you to sleep. Read something new or reread something old. Find a quiet place, pour yourself a cup of tea, and escape into another world.

Senior to Senior: Depression and the Pandemic

Feeling a little depressed? You are not alone. There’s a pandemic going on, not the first and probably not the last, but still, it’s a lot to take in. Seniors have seen it all before, and for the most part, are coping better than most. How do you deal? It’s lonely and people can accidently make you sick. Still, you have jobs, classes, volunteer work, grandchildren to spoil, and other responsibilities to keep you on your toes. It’s okay to be depressed; it doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you. Some say that older adults experience more depression and loneliness than others, but research suggests otherwise. Resilience, built up over a lifetime, has actually made you stronger. Yes, you are spending less time with people close to you, but in many instances, you are communicating more with family and friends than you have in years. What has changed in your life? Before the pandemic, having a busy life was thought to be a status symbol, but was it? You now have time to touch bases with yourself again. You no longer spend more time in your car than at the breakfast table. No more failed relationships; you can either bubble with someone near and dear, or allow shaky relationships die a natural death. You should be feeling less stressed. Fewer places to go, fewer obligations, and fewer items on your to-do list. You have time to eat better, shop less, enjoy time with your family, and communicate with others at home and away. You are spending less money, reading more, listening more, and finding out what is truly important. Life has slowed to a crawl; embrace this revelation and make it last. Experts have been telling you to slow down for years, and many of you have tried, but to no avail. Learn to be grateful for the little things and to focus on what is good in your good life. People have been through rough times before and they have survived. Resilience prevails; have faith that somehow you will make it through another day, despite the difficulties.

Senior to Senior: Is Worry Keeping You Awake

Many of us have taken worrying to the next level; it isn’t surprising that we can’t sleep. Night time is the perfect time to worry. The house is quiet, the television is off, and the computer is in sleep mode. Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone had a “sleep mode”? At the moment, past worries seemed trivial when compared to the serious things that are going on in the world today. Stress and anxiety now need to be dealt with on a daily basis, and quite frankly, they lead to many sleepless nights. Physiologically speaking there is a good reason for this. When your brain senses that you are in danger it goes into a special mode; it literally screams “stay awake and watch for the enemy.” Poor sleep habits are nothing new; worriers were screwed up long before the pandemic came along. Scientist have been telling us for years that we need to sleep more, but the quick fixes that they offer sound way too complicated. Sleep Researchers go so far as to tell us that if we don’t sleep more, we will die, sooner rather than later, which isn’t exactly reassuring. What if, instead of “worrying” about not being able to sleep, we just accept that sleep is a natural phenomenon. Think good thoughts: • Focus on positive thoughts; list three good things that have happened to you each day. • Make a to-do list ahead of time. Knowing that you have a plan means that you don’t have to worry when you should be sleeping. • Wind down with a good book, meditate, or sip a cup of herbal tea. Good sleep is as important to health as good food and good exercise. Why then is it so hard? Maybe you need to stop trying so hard. Listen to your body. If you start yawning, or if your eyelids feel heavy, or your muscles ache…go to bed. If you are not sleepy or if you have too much on your mind, then engage in some other activities to help you relax. With age comes wisdom, right? Does worry really accomplishes anything?

Senior to Senior: Self-Care

Another lockdown, family members or friends who are sick, bad news, sad news and no news. Fall, often considered the most beautiful season of the year, has become a stressful nightmare. Stressful beyond belief. Everyone is impacted in one way or another by coronavirus related changes and world events. When you have a lot of stressors at the same time, and lack the usual ways to release them, you find yourself in quite a quandary. You already know that you are supposed to be focusing on a healthy lifestyle. You need to wear a mask, get enough exercise, eat properly, and embrace mental stimulation. Is this working for you? Are you doing okay? All of your energies are now focused on survival, one day at a time. In the old days a vacation was the answer, but now you have more time off than you ever wanted. Today, working or not, self-care is essential. What would it take to make you “feel good” right now? Rest, a walk in the park, a new pair of slippers, a favorite dinner delivered to your door, a hot fudge sundae, a good book, or binge-watching football games? Seniors are pretty lucky. Lockdown may be boring but you don’t need to go to work, you can have groceries and everything else delivered to your door, and you have entertainment at your fingertips. That should be enough, but it’s not. If you are too bummed to take care of yourself, all of these pluses are for naught. This is hard; humans are groomed to put others first. For a long time, self-care was thought to be a sign of selfishness, but psychologists now know that just the opposite is true. It is essential to take care of yourself first, so that you can give your best to others. Self-care is giving yourself permission to acknowledge that you need help. Feeling anxious, stressed, or just plain out of sorts is not okay; it is bad for your health and well-being. Doing something pleasurable or good for “you” helps connect you to the world around you.

Senior to Senior: Boredom

Admit it. The pandemic will either bring out the best or the worst in you. The trick is to not let boredom take control of your life. Boredom isn’t unusual; a temporary case of the blahs or a full blown “sinking spell” can hit at any time. Philosophers, scientists, and psychologist have been studying boredom for a very long time, but nobody understood boredom like our mothers. In our day, such as it was, mothers knew best, and boredom was not an option. Mother would say, “use your imagination” or “the whole world is out there for you to explore,” or the dreaded words “if you can’t find something to do, I will find something for you.” That usually did the trick; you would scurry off to find something to do, because mother meant business. Her other famous saying was, “boredom is within yourself and only you can do something about it.” Hmmm. Smart lady, and all this before psychology was even a discipline. Before going down memory lane, stop and think about how soldiers imprisoned during war time, or others who have been incarcerated for whatever reason, managed to stay alive. It makes whining about being bored sound rather pithy doesn’t it? While boredom itself is not dangerous. It can trigger a plethora of harmful behaviors. There is no quick fix, but recognizing it for what it is will give you a heads up. Use your dissatisfaction productively: • Keep up with the latest happenings; you are never too old to learn new things. • Get involved with life. Think of just one thing you can do to improve yourself (job, life, relationships or intellectual stimulation). • Be open minded. Read and listen to everybody and everything. • Trouble shoot; figure out what it is that is boring you, and your take steps to do something about it. People respond to boredom in different ways; some find new interests while others turn to overeating or binge-watching mindless television. Will you spiral out of control or will you be inspired to do great things? Embrace your boredom; make it work for you

Senior to Senior: Cut Yourself Some Slack

People are often highly critical of themselves, and as a result their own worst enemies. It’s true of all of us; seniors are no exception. Old people remain proud and critical of themselves, and often to their own detriment. It makes their children, medical professionals, and social workers tear out their hair, but it is what it is. Age doesn’t protect you from yourself. Call it “stubbornness” or just plain “set in your ways,” but it boils down to the same thing. You expect the impossible of yourself. Accept that you get tired, and that you have more aches and pains than you used to. It is time to look for ways to make life easier instead of more difficult. Learning how to be kind to yourself is the first step. Being kind to others, as well as to yourself, is good for your health and wellbeing. The key, of course, is learning how to cut yourself some slack. You don’t have to be old to do this, but age is a lovely excuse. Stop feeling guilty if you need to slow down. No apologies necessary; others will recognize and understand this long before you do. It’s okay if you need to sit out one volunteer activity, do the laundry on Friday instead of Monday, or cancel a luncheon engagement. Be kind to yourself: • Don’t forget to take time for yourself; time to relax or to do something you really want to do. • Pat yourself on the back if you finish a chore or complete an assignment. • Let go of past wrongs and grievances. Forgive others and even more important, forgive yourself. • Accept your limitations. If you can’t jog anymore; try walking. If you can’t work full time; turn to part-time or pursue other interests. Stop trying to be perfect; perfection is not only unattainable but vastly overrated. Do what you can, and accept that it is good enough. You may never be as strong or as focused as you used to be, but you are still the same person, and a really great one at that.

Senior to Senior: Learn Something New

Don’t waste your pandemic time; learn something new. You don’t have to wait to start a new project; now is a good time. Gerontologists have been telling seniors for a long time that stimulating the brain is the best thing you can do for yourself. Thanks to technology and the number of free online classes being offered right now, the possibilities are endless. When you do something new, you stimulate new neural pathways in the brain. Yes, the brain that you have been fearing was going into a serious decline. “Use it or lose it” has always been a favorite adage, and it is time to see if it is true. Hit the books instead of spending the days moping around. After 70 odd years, it is frightening to realize just how many things you still don’t know. Aren’t you the least little bit curious? Instant research is good, but serious learning is even better. What is it that you are curious about? Have you always wanted to learn how to read, or to read better? How about learning how to cook, how to knit, how to speak Spanish, how to play an instrument, how to do home repairs, or paint a watercolor? Feel the excitement. You don’t have to be perfect in your 70’s…you don’t have to feel pressured to get an “A” in everything. If you find you aren’t any good at whatever, it’s okay; give yourself a pat on the back for trying. How to get started: • Take a class. A little harder right now when you can’t go out but attending a class in person is not your only option. There are websites that offer online classes; many of them free. • Watch online tutorials. • Learn the old-fashioned way, by using a book. Books remain one of the best ways to learn something new. • Just try it. Trial and error and learning from mistakes works too. • Ask a family member to share their expertise. • Hire a tutor Never stop learning. It will not only keep your brain healthy but it will give you something positive to do during these trying times.

Senior to Senior: Walking Meditation

Can’t stand being barraged with dire news reports anymore? You are not alone; even easy-going, take-it or- leave it folks are feeling anxious and stressed. We have all heard about the power of meditation, but it is still a bit mystical and other worldly for most. If you have ever tried meditating, you probably know that it is not something that comes naturally. You may even feel that there is a limit to how much time you can spend in your “own head,” no matter what it is called. Still, there has been a lot of research on the subject, and it is all positive; meditation is good for you. What if you could combine thinking good thoughts with something else. If you are already walking, for exercise and to clear your head, you are already half way there. Walking is a good time to do some thinking, or not thinking, whichever the case may be. Do you see where I am going this? You may already be doing a form of meditation (walking meditation) and don’t even know it. Meditating while walking not only exercises the body (so you are really not wasting your time) but also the mind. Exercising your mind. Wow! Who doesn’t need that? Meditating is even thought of as a way to keep your brain from aging. Sounds like a good project doesn’t it? Walking meditation is not about power walks or aerobic workouts. You are going to just walk normally, which means good posture and a relaxed gait. The difference is that you are concentrating on how you are feeling. Think about your feet, your body, and your breath. It is all about you. Meditation is learning to focus on the present moment; narrowing your focus down to feeling and breathing. One, two, three, four. Don’t worry about erasing all of your thoughts, and don’t fuss about distractions; for now, just think about your breathing and your feet. Step, step…breath, breath. Your library as well as numerous websites will supply you with information if you need help getting started. Take time away from television and social media and think about something else. Walking and meditating. Meditating and walking. Walking meditation.