Smart Senior

Senior to Senior: Older Pets for Older People

We’ve had pets in our house for as long as I remember. Fifty-three years ago, a young man rescued my cat from a tree; he has been rescuing all of us ever since. We’ve always had two pets at a time because pets need company too, so never a dull moment. We’ve reached the age when bringing a youngster into our home is out of the question. Adoption agencies are pretty fussy these days, if you know what I mean; we are now considered “at risk” parents. Sad but true. Does this mean we have to resign ourselves to being pet less for the rest of our lives? Not necessarily. Researchers all agree that seniors who have pets tend to remain independent longer, cope with stress better, and are less likely to experience loneliness and depression. What do you do to assure your pet won’t outlive you? Well you can’t, but you can lower the odds by adopting a slightly “used” pet of a less active breed. The needs of an older dog are different; instead of chew toys and long walks, you need to think about senior proofing your house, just like you are doing for yourself. A slippery floor can be dangerous; think about adding area rugs or runners with skid proof pads if you or your senior pet are having mobility issues. Fido will appreciate an orthopedic bed, and if you want a couch buddy or a bed partner you will want to buy a padded stair step. Your senior pets still need stimulation and exercise so you won’t be off the hook, but a senior pet will be happy with just a walk around the block. I knew a lady who walked her cat on a leash, and another who walked around the neighborhood with her gray parrot on her shoulder. Your veterinarian will answer questions about diet, immunizations, medications and other issues to resolve. There are volunteer organizations for pet sitting, pet walking, or providing transportation for veterinary visits. Contract with family or friends to provide care if you should become incapacitated, and do remember Fido in your will.

Senior to Senior: Loneliness

Alone or lonely. When does the state of singleness become worrisome or even pathological? Families worry when they notice that an elderly parent is spending too much time alone. Seniors are especially vulnerable to loneliness. Studies reveal that loneliness often leads to depression, and depression is indeed something to worry about. Like it or not, human contact is essential for optimal health and well-being. Easier said than done, especially if you are an introvert, and many of us are; we actually prefer our own company. The idea is to find some sort of balance. Suggestions by the experts: • Reach out and establish contact with friends and relatives (introverts may not be phone people but a note, e-mail, even a tiny text message is a good way to start). • Say yes; accept an invitation to join someone for lunch or to go to an exercise class once in a while. • Volunteer; if you aren’t a people person you can volunteer at an animal shelter. • Take a risk; smile more, introduce yourself to a neighbor, initiate a conversation; It doesn’t have to be a lengthy dissertation, just a word or two. • Adopt a pet. Seniors may have to work harder to make friends but it can be done and is worth the effort. • Begin small; don’t try to reinvent yourself all at once. • Find a level of interaction that you are most comfortable with; a book club or a fitness program. • Think quality rather than quantity when it comes to relationships. It isn’t easy if you are a true introvert. If you find people a little scary or a little too noisy, make a date with nature. Studies prove that everyday interactions with green and blue places can be very motivating. It also helps establish a routine and gets you out of the house. There are many introverts out there; you aren’t alone. The idea is to put yourself out there enough that other people know you are just quiet, and not the neighborhood curmudgeon. It’s okay to enjoy solitary pursuits but don’t forget to reach out once in a while. Start small; smile at one person today.

Senior to Senior: Age Is Just a Number

Age is just a number, or so they say, but isn’t that just another way of side-stepping the question of how old we really are. Life is measured in terms of milestones and each milestone is associated with a number, so why not now? Remembering milestones is easy; your first day of school, entering your teen years, learning how to drive, graduating from high school and of course turning twenty-one. Monumental occasions, each and every one of them. After twenty-one time slowed down, although in retrospect it seemed to speed up, and before we knew it we were thinking in terms of “down-hill” or “over the hill.” Milestones, while more interesting, were not nearly as exciting as they used to be. Age has never been “just a number,” age has always been “the number,” until now. When is it that we officially become old? I wrote to a friend the other day, complaining that I had inadvertently gone to the grocery store on “senior discount” day. Horror of horrors, the place was packed with “old” people; the aisles were jammed with browsers moving at a snail’s pace, carts laden with portable oxygen tanks, and so many scooters that I feared for my life when I reached the end of each aisle. Well, I muscled through but vowed I wouldn’t go back on the middle Wednesday of the month ever again. When did I start separating myself out from the rest of the pack? I certainly qualify, age-wise, but it made me wonder why I wasn’t willing to accept that I am one of “them.” We are lucky that today age is defined by degrees of health and well-being rather than being assigned a random number. I find this quite empowering; we are more than justified if we don’t want to play the numbers game. So, what about that number? If we can learn to deal with the physical challenges associated with getting older we can do anything. It is nice that we no longer have to define ourselves by how old we are, but rather by what we are doing.

Senior to Senior: Reading

Reading Are you reading as much as you used to? It’s a fair question. When we were kids “book worms” ruled. A trip to the library was the highlight of the week. Yes, I am talking about the years before television, before cell phones, and before Saturday matinees became mainstream. Reading for pleasure is still one of life’s greatest gifts. Whether you have been a lifelong reader or just someone who thought “maybe someday” you would have time to catch up. Now you have a new reason; researchers say that we need to do something to challenge our brains. Unfortunately, poor health or physical disabilities may stand in your way. Decreased vision, hand issues, medication side effects, pain, and even lack of sleep may make curling up with a good book difficult. Don’t give up. A good book can still be your best friend. Books engage your mind. If you are sad and need to laugh, you can read a book on humor. If you feel your life has gone stale, a book with new ideas or challenges can inspire you to do great things. So, what do you do when age related issues make it difficult to indulge in your favorite pastime? • Talk to your doctor if you feel that medications, sleeplessness or other physical issues make it hard for you to concentrate. • See your eye doctor regularly. Your problems may be explained away with a new pair of glasses. • Prop heavy books on a pillow or use a book holder. • Electronic readers are lightweight, have backlights, and you can turn the page or enlarge print with the tap of a finger. Trouble concentrating? A special quiet reading nook, reading out loud, listening to an audio while following along in a book, or use a bookmark to hold your place as you move down the page. Read for pleasure, read to learn, or read to exercise your brain. Find a book that inspires you, appeals to your sense of adventure, or just gives you a warm fuzzy feeling.

Senior to Senior: Mindful Knitting

My mother could knit the most beautiful Norwegian ski sweaters you’ve ever seen, me not so much. The last thing I remember knitting was a long green scarf when helping out our Girl Scout leader. I know enough about knitting to know that a real craftswoman can turn out unbelievably even stitches, and without even looking down at her hands, but that isn’t enough. I wasn’t terribly surprised when I read a newspaper article about a major corporation suggesting that their employees take up “mindful knitting” to help them relax. Who knew, maybe our mothers and grandmothers were on to something, besides adding sweaters and mittens to our wardrobes. The focus of knitting used to be to produce sweaters, scarves, booties and blankets, but now knitting is being taught as a way to meditate. Knitting, they say, can lower your blood pressure and improve your mental health. When you doing something by rote whether it be knitting, coloring or scrapbooking, the mind can relax. If they had told me that knitting was the new yoga way back when, I might have looked at it differently. Instead of fuming over dropped stitches I could have viewed the repetitive motion and the soothing click of the needles as a subtle meditative technique. The upside is you don’t have to go to a yoga studio to achieve this inner peace; you can knit any time and any place. Its not about what you make that is important. Paying attention to each stitch and the rhythmic pace of doing the same thing over and over can be soothing. Hobbies that require mindful, solitary activity such as knitting can help break the stress cycle. Knit simply for the sake of knitting. You can be creative but if knitting the same scarf over and over works for you, that is fine too. Go ahead and use different colors and different yarns if variety is important to you, and if one of those pieces becomes a thing of beauty, you can give it as a gift. Don’t roll your eyes if a boss or a friend hints that “mindful knitting” might be good for you.

Senior to Senior: Mindful Knitting

My mother could knit the most beautiful Norwegian ski sweaters you’ve ever seen, me not so much. The last thing I remember knitting was a long green scarf when helping out our Girl Scout leader. I know enough about knitting to know that a real craftswoman can turn out unbelievably even stitches, and without even looking down at her hands, but that isn’t enough. I wasn’t terribly surprised when I read a newspaper article about a major corporation suggesting that their employees take up “mindful knitting” to help them relax. Who knew, maybe our mothers and grandmothers were on to something, besides adding sweaters and mittens to our wardrobes. The focus of knitting used to be to produce sweaters, scarves, booties and blankets, but now knitting is being taught as a way to meditate. Knitting, they say, can lower your blood pressure and improve your mental health. When you doing something by rote whether it be knitting, coloring or scrapbooking, the mind can relax. If they had told me that knitting was the new yoga way back when, I might have looked at it differently. Instead of fuming over dropped stitches I could have viewed the repetitive motion and the soothing click of the needles as a subtle meditative technique. The upside is you don’t have to go to a yoga studio to achieve this inner peace; you can knit any time and any place. Its not about what you make that is important. Paying attention to each stitch and the rhythmic pace of doing the same thing over and over can be soothing. Hobbies that require mindful, solitary activity such as knitting can help break the stress cycle. Knit simply for the sake of knitting. You can be creative but if knitting the same scarf over and over works for you, that is fine too. Go ahead and use different colors and different yarns if variety is important to you, and if one of those pieces becomes a thing of beauty, you can give it as a gift. Don’t roll your eyes if a boss or a friend hints that “mindful knitting” might be good for you.

Senior to Senior: Talking to Strangers

Once again, researchers are doing studies on a subject that to us “older folks” is common knowledge. They could have just asked us. We might not have used words like “psychological benefits,” but we’ve always known that talking to strangers is a civilized thing to do. When we grew up, we knew everyone in the neighborhood, and everyone in the neighborhood knew us. The word stranger wasn’t even in our vocabulary, but times have changed. Our children and our children’s children have been cautioned, practically since birth, not to talk to strangers. Not talking to strangers morphed into avoiding contact and being careful not to invade anyone’s “personal space,” and this was before cell phone relationships even existed. Researchers are now studying what this current level of social isolation means. The Wall Street Journal ran an article the other day (Monday, May 13th) by Elizabeth Bernstein. The author talked about importance, and the benefits, of interacting with people outside of your immediate social circle. Our children, at one time or another, have all told us that we embarrassed them when we talked to strangers. I hope you ignored them and went on being your old friendly selves. We don’t need researches to tell us, although that is exactly what they are doing, that talking to strangers improves everyday experiences. Studies show that insignificant interactions, like giving a complement or asking a cashier how there day is going, is good for us. You both get a little jolt of happiness even though you are strangers and may never see one another again. Lifting your head and engaging with the person standing next to you is worth the effort. People are happier when they connect with others. Do a little study on your own. You are surrounded by strangers every time you walk down the street. When you exchange a word, a smile or a compliment, you are reaching out. You are sending a message that says you are recognizing each other’s humanity, without making any demands on their time or yours. Cool huh.

Senior to Senior: Forgiveness and Longevity

Dwelling on past failures, disappointments and perceived slights is bad for your health. Advice columnists field questions about family and work dynamics every day, and most of them deal with wounded feelings, grudges, anger, and perceived slights. Psychologists, pastors, advice columnists, and medical researchers all agree that anger and resent are bad for your health and well-being, and may indeed shorten your life. Anger and resentment are perfectly natural; it is the way humans react to real or perceived injustice. Unfortunately, this fight or flight reaction makes them vulnerable to chronic anxiety, serious depression, general distrust, poor self-esteem, and the sense of hopelessness that makes them miserable. Forgiveness, it seems, is a really big deal. Forgiveness is not always about reconciling or pardoning someone because of a perceived wrong, but about whether or not you are able to let it go. Forgiveness is personal; it is an intellectual decision to give up being angry and moving on. You may be wondering what forgiveness has to do with happiness and longevity, but your body knows. Physiologically speaking, hanging on to anger and resentment triggers stress hormones. Stress, as you already know, increases the chance of heart attacks, cancer, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and a host of other chronic illnesses. Forgiveness isn’t all that easy. If it were you wouldn’t find so many people seeking professional help. The advice is pretty much the same whether you attend counseling sessions, read self-help books, attend support groups, or write to advice columnists. They all have you start by: • Acknowledging your anger • Deciding you want to forgive the slight. • Changing the way you perceive the situation. • Offering an apology and moving on There be more steps but the ball is in your court. Hostility is not good for you. Forgiveness is essential for healthy living. Allow yourself to be a better person; exchange your anger, bitterness, hatred and depression for joy, peace and freedom.

Senior Living: Kindness and Longevity

Diet, exercise and socialization pave the way to a long and healthy life, but researchers are now saying that “happiness” plays an equally important role, and it is a lot more fun. Last week we touched on the importance of goal setting; why people are happiest when they have a reason to get up every morning, but is that enough? Keeping busy (having a goal) is important, but you aren’t off the hook yet. Your assignment for this week is to practice being kind, both to yourself and to others. Being kind isn’t all that hard, but you may need to give it a little thought. Don’t be intimidated. You don’t have to be faster than a speeding bullet or able to leap tall buildings in a single bound to show that you care. What does this have to do with longevity? Researchers assure us that engaging in little acts of kindness actually make you “feel good,” and all without costing you a thing. If “feeling good” isn’t scientific enough for you we can talk about how the body releases dopamine, a natural mood elevator, and endorphins, which contribute to a natural sense of well-being. With dopamine and endorphins on board you are ready to focus on the rest of your life. Squelch feelings such as fear, anxiety, sadness, depression, anger and hostility and do something nice. An act of kindness can go so far as to reduce stresses, lift emotions, and decreases negative feelings. Simple acts of kindness: • Let someone go ahead of you in line • Hold the door for someone, and smile. • Let a car merge ahead. • Pick up trash at a park or playground. • Send a card or e-mail just to say hello. • Volunteer time or goods to local charities. Yes, the verdict is in; being kind is good for everyone involved. Extending the holiday spirit throughout the year may well be the easiest way to improve your health. Living a long and happy life is indeed a bonus.

Senior Living: Happiness and Longevity

Longevity is in the news again, but what does it all mean. You’ve probably discovered by now that old age is catching up with you, even if you have played by all the rules. A healthy diet, exercise, plenty of rest, and social engagements have stood you in good stead, but researchers now tell us that it is not enough. The real key to longevity, they say, is “happiness.” That sounds easy enough, but is it? What if you are not a “feel good” happy kind of person. Does that mean that you can’t have a few more good years? Is it possible to learn how to be happy? Psychologist say that the odds are in our favor. Odds sounds a lot like math, but then numbers are something that we can all understand. Researchers suggest that 50% of our ability to be happy is genetically determined, 10% is governed by what is going on in our lives, and the rest is up to us. We are gifted with a 40% chance of making significant changes in our lives. Happy people enjoy the company of others and they enjoy setting “happiness goals.” Happiness is thought to encompass one’s ability to be grateful, forgiving, kind, optimistic and resilient. Big words that sound a lot like work, but we have time. Start by setting some goals. Think of goal setting as making a big to-do list. Goal setting, after all, is the best way to come up with a plan. A plan for today, a plan for the week, for the month, for the year and for a lifetime. You may think that you are too old to have goals, but give it some thought: • Goals setting is a sign that you have control over your life. • Goal setting gives structure and meaning to your life. • Goal setting stimulates your mind. Having goals serves as a reminder that you can still learn, contribute, and share. It is never too late to be a better and a happier person. Consider it a plus if it helps you live longer.