Senior to Senior: Don't Be Afraid to Ask for Help

There are many kind, thoughtful, and helpful people in your life. Why is so difficult to ask for help? When you do something thoughtful, something nice, it makes you feel good. Well, it works both ways; when you accept help you actually make someone else feel good. Sounds like a win-win situation to me. Unfortunately, as a culture, we put a lot of emphasis on self-reliance. We revere independence and look down on those who seem “too needy.” We all want to be able to say “I can do it myself,” but it hasn’t always been this way. Humans are social beings. From the very beginning they banded together in order to “help” one another. Survival depended on it. What are you afraid of? • You are afraid of looking weak: In actuality reaching out is a sign of strength. It means that you recognize that you can’t always do everything yourself. • You are Afraid to Impose: Chances are you are not imposing. Most people like to be helpful. It doesn’t hurt to ask as long as you give them a way out (no guilt trip please). If it doesn’t work for them, they can always say no. At at the very least they may be able to help problem solve. • You are afraid of looking incompetent: As a senior you might think asking for help is admitting incompetence. Quite the contrary; asking for, as well as offering help to others, is a sign that you are a pretty nice person. • You feel that if you don’t do it yourself it won’t get done right: Posh. This is a control issue and you need to get over yourself. Sometimes you need to take a leap of faith and graciously accept help. Switch your mindset; recognize that warm-fuzzy feeling you get from helping others. Practice asking for and offering help to others every day. As long as you remember that there is a fine line between asking for, and expecting help, you will be fine. Be sure you are on the right side of this one. .