Senior to Senior: Asking for Help

There are many kind, thoughtful, and helpful people in your life. Why is it that you are reluctant to ask any of them for help? Admit it, doing something nice for someone makes you feel good about yourself. Well, it works both ways; when you graciously accept assistance, it makes other people feel good about themselves too. Unfortunately, as a culture, we put a lot of emphasis on self-reliance. We revere independence and look down on those who seem “too needy.” It hasn’t always been this way. Humans are social beings. From the beginning people banded together to “help” one other, in order to survive. What are you afraid of? • You are afraid of looking weak: In actuality reaching out is a sign of strength. It means that you recognize that everyone needs a little help. • You are Afraid to Impose: Chances are you are not imposing. Most people like to be helpful. It doesn’t hurt to ask if you give them a way out (no guilt trip please) if it doesn’t work for them; at the very least they may be able to help problem solve. • You are afraid of looking incompetent: As a senior you might think asking for help is admitting incompetence. Quite the contrary; asking for, and offering help is a sign that you are capable of problem solving. • You feel that if you don’t do it yourself it won’t get done right: Posh. This is a control issue and you need to get over yourself. Sometimes you need to take a leap of faith and graciously accept help. Being picture perfect is less important than doing what is best for you. Switch your mindset; recognize that warm-fuzzy feeling you get from helping others. Reach out and ask for before a crisis occurs; even the most competent person will need help sometime. Practice asking for, as well as offering, help every day. Just remember that there is a fine line between asking for, and expecting help. Be sure you are on the right side of this one. .