Smart Senior

Senior to Senior: Someday Lists

List to End All Lists We are a generation of list makers. I’m not sure how younger people do it without the benefit of pencil and paper, but I know that they are just as obsessed as we are. I can’t imagine that hitting a delete button can be as satisfying as crossing items off by hand, but it is what it is. Our lists range from weekly grocery lists to broad sweeping New Year Resolutions. Writing things down and crossing them off is immensely satisfying. Heady stuff! Age of course, intensifies the need to make lists. So many things to do. As memory begins to falter, we fill our diaries with things we need to do, as well things that we always wanted to do. As we grow older, we ponder more, and our list of things to do take on a little more urgency. It is time to recognize that bucket lists are dream lists, they look good on paper but are out of reach of most people. Let’s call our new list something else. A list perhaps, of things that we always wanted to do, but never got around to. We could call it our “someday list.” We have reached the “now or never” phase of our lives. If we are going to be able to check anything off our “someday list,” we need to start today. This list isn’t just for checking off huge adventures, but for finding little ways to add meaning and enjoyment to our lives. How about learning a new language, auditing a university class or finally finishing your degree. Join a health club and start a fitness program; chair yoga is a place to start. Take a cooking class and volunteer with an organization that touches your heart. Write a book (memoirs are fine), take piano lessons, learn how to dance, or master a skill or hobby (new or old). Reconnect with family and old friends. Take a photography class. Take up gardening, make a quilt, crochet a baby blanket, set a fitness goal or participate in a charity walk. So many things to do. Create your own “someday list” today, and keep that pencil handy.

Senior to Senior: Loneliness

Loneliness is a deeply personal experience; it is multifaceted and encompasses more than just finding yourself physically alone. Even if you are a quiet independent curmudgeon, you will experience loneliness at times, it’s human nature. Studies show that more than a third of adults over the age of 45 feel lonely at times. Life becomes challenging as you age, and loneliness is just the tip of the iceberg. You may find yourself unemployed and living alone. You may have lost a loved one or have health-related conditions (disabilities) that have brought you down. It’s called Life 101. For some reason seniors struggle with reaching out. Simple things like spending an afternoon at the library, having lunch at the senior center, or signing up for a class or two becomes difficult. It’s almost as if there is an invisible wall, a social stigma, attached to admitting that you feel lonely. Yes, misery loves company, but it is more than that. Humans are by nature social beings and even the “quiet ones,” crave company at times. People really do need other people and thankfully other people need them. Some people admittedly, are not “people persons.” There is nothing wrong with you if you like your own company, if you hate noise, and if you tend to avoid chaotic situations, but that said, socialization is important. Studies show that there is a link between socialization and good mental health. Instead of allowing feelings of anxiety and depression rule your life, it behooves you bend a little. You may not be as “okay” as you think. Examine signs and symptoms of loneliness. Have you become nervous about participating in social gatherings, has there been changes in your daily routines, are you having trouble sleeping, or are you feeling bored or tired too much of the time? It’s time to get a grip and do something about it. Get out of the house. Join a group that focuses on activities that you used to enjoy. Spend time outdoors, exercise, and allow yourself to be intellectually curious. Admit that you feel lonely. Know that others are lonely too. Be the first to reach out. You will be glad you did.

Senior to Senior: What Makes a Happy Home

Wisdom and experience. It really is a senior thing. I know you can’t help but feel that you have “been there” “done that,” when it comes to home ownership, or just about any other issue. You know all about the high cost of starter homes because it isn’t anything new. It is all about expectations, isn’t it? If you expect even the most basic ranch style house to have granite counters, stainless steel appliances, and jacuzzi bath systems, you should know that it is going to cost you an arm and a leg, Tell me about your first home. Most of us have lived in a lot of “crap” houses along the way, but it didn’t make or break us. They were good times, weren’t they? Some of us started out in trailer parks or in tiny studio apartments. What about the rental with linoleum flooring (or even worse, green shag carpets), silver wallpaper, mirrored walls, or that bedroom that was painted purple. Remember avocado appliances and portable dishwashers? Heck, some of us remember childhood homes with outdoor toilets and wood burning stoves. We’ve come a long way. Houses, since cave days, have been selected because of natural light, airflow, and shelter from the elements. A home is something else. Home is a place where you can truly relax and feel safe. What makes a house a home? It’s the little things that turn four walls into a home. You can fix up any space to make it homey. The trick is to break free from unhealthy and unrealistic comparisons. A little paint, artwork, fresh linens, and colorful pillows can go a long way. Seriously, studies show that the emphasis on location and physical characteristics have little bearing on your overall happiness. Unless you work from home or are retired you likely spend less time in your house than just about anywhere else, so don’t be too critical. Don’t confuse the idea of living in the perfect house and in the perfect neighborhood with real happiness. Instead, fill your sanctuary with color, life, and joy.

Senior to Senior: The Little "C"

Everyone knows what the Big C is, but there is another C that needs to be addressed, one that no one likes to talk about. Let’s call it the “little c.” Many seniors have experienced, or know someone who has experienced, an uncomfortable and clearly embarrassing trip to the emergency room because of the little “c,” also known as constipation. You are not alone. Constipation is the most common gastrointestinal complaint in the world. In plain words it is a digestive order resulting in an inability to have a normal bowel movement. It may not sound like a big deal until it happens to you. Constipation is a common problem in older adults. Constipation is usually a short-term problem resolved by taking laxatives or other medications. If home remedies don’t work for you, you may require more drastic measures. Keep in mind that constipation isn’t always about how often you go to the bathroom. Other symptoms include frequent hard and lumpy stools, straining to go, and having to spend more than 5 minutes on the commode. Many seniors, if they talk about it at all, admit that they are guilty of not getting enough exercise, not drinking enough water, and not eating properly. All red flags when it comes to the little “c.: Yes, aging itself can lead to bowel muscle changes but there are other contributing factors. Chronic illnesses as well as many of the medications that older adults take (opiates, some antidepressants, and even blood pressure medications) can be key contributors. Temporary constipation will usually resolve on its own, but if it happens too often it needs to be addressed. If your problem is due to low fiber diets, dehydration, and lack of physical activity, you can overcome it. If lifestyle changes aren’t enough, you may need professional help. Suggested treatments seem simple, but getting stubborn seniors to like prunes, eat vegetables, drink water, and get off the couch can be problematic. Save yourself the discomfort and the embarrassment of going to the emergency room to be treated for the little “c”.

Senior to Senior: Stereotypes and Aging

Stereotypes about aging are alive and well. They are hard to ignore. Studies reveal how dangerous they can be if they affect the way you think about yourself. It starts early on. You are led to believe that aging is something to dread. “They” suggest that you should do everything, cosmetically and physically, to delay the inevitable. Exercise, implants, acrylic nails, and hair dye can give you a boost physically, but the damage done to the senior psyche is startling. One of the most potent sources of ageism comes from older people themselves, and like other forms of ageism, the self-inflicted kind is much worse. If you accept ageism, you may be doing yourself a disservice. You may laugh and repeat cliches about being “over the hill,” and having “senior moments,” but truth be told, they are not funny. The trouble is that internalizing ageist stereotypes can affect your health and wellbeing. You may miss the implications when someone says, “you haven’t changed a bit” or “you don’t look your age” because you want to hear them, and you want to believe. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing. People who think well about themselves are physically and emotionally healthier than those who do not. When you allow yourself to think that decline is inevitable, it gives you an excuse for having a “do nothing” attitude. Being fit and being healthy is hard work at every age. Seniors who remain involved and dedicated to being relevant. are everywhere. Stop and talk to the ones who are walking around your neighborhood or are at the gym learning how to take care of themselves. Societal norms love to portray older people as forgetful, cranky, and frail. If this isn’t you, you owe it to yourself to be a role model. You cannot reverse negative stereotypes about aging if you believe them yourself. Understand that many older people are in good health (mentally and physically) and are satisfied with their lives. It’s time to replace negative stereotypes with positive ones. Think wise and accomplished rather than senile and dependent.