Smart Senior

Senior Living: House Hunting

House hunting is often objective instead of subjective, meaning that people house hunt with their hearts instead of with their minds.  You fall in love with a yard, a neighborhood, the number of bedrooms a place has, or maybe even the wall paper pattern in the breakfast nook.   Sellers know this and it is not usual for them to hire professionals to “stage” their apartments/houses so that they look really good.   The seller is hoping that you will fall in love with what you see instead of what you want or need.

 If you are going to the trouble to downsize, you want to be sure that everything is going to be just right.  Downsizing is more than just buying a smaller house.  This time around you will be looking for a place that will make life easier for you.  You don’t have to worry about what school district you will be in or how far you have to drive to work, but other considerations will come into play.   Universal design features, location, and transportation systems are a few of the words you will hear mentioned.   Some homes today include elements of “universal design”, which means they are designed to improve the lives of people with special needs.  These houses are designed to accommodate people with arthritis, older people and people with handicaps.  Retirement communities and senior only apartments are often designed with these specifications, but not everyone can afford what they might call a “smart house.”

A small one story house is a good place to start.  My husband watches the housing market closely.  We are studying what is available versus what we are really looking for.   It is not a bad idea to tour open houses in your neighborhood, whether you are in the market or not.  Think of it as good practice.  Identify what you see and think about whether it is just right or could be renovated to make it just right.  Don’t look at the wallpaper, but at whether the house would be a good fit for you.    What if you had to use crutches, a walker, or even a wheelchair?

 It is unlikely that you will find a house with all of the features that you want, but each one present is a step in the right direction.    Start with an open floor plan.  If you are thinking about remodeling you don’t want to be dealing with a lot of walls and small spaces.   Don’t forget to look at manufactured home floor plans.  Whether this kind of housing appeals or not, you will come away with some great ideas.  I am amazed at how open and airy they are and am impressed that they looked much larger than the square footage would imply.      Some universal design features will be expensive, but others are things that you can implement quickly and inexpensively.   If you feel this is above your personal level of expertise, consult an expert.   You can find architects and contractors who specialize in accessibility design and renovations.  Their input could be priceless.  You can have them inspect your existing home, or a prospective home, to see if alterations are feasible and within your budget.  

On the other hand, if you have the time and inclination you can do most of this yourself.  For example:  you can check to make sure there are no steps or stairs, or if the doorways and hallways are wide with low or no thresholds.  You probably won’t find grab bars or raised toilet seats in most bathrooms, but does it look like they could be installed?   Is there room for a walk in tub or easily accessible shower?   Are the counters lower than usual, cabinets with slide out shelves, keyless locking systems or motorized blinds and curtains?  These are just a few considerations but you can find a checklist as close as your local library, or get information from your state Division on Aging.    Take a few minutes to browse and then take a checklist with you when you tour homes in your neighborhood.

Senior Living: Aging In Place (Lifelong Homes)

 

Aging in place is here to stay.  Aging in place has moved out of the realm of science fiction (smart homes) and into the twenty-first century.    The term “lifelong homes” isn’t as well known as universal design but I like that it seems to imply more than just a place to live.

The Real Estate Section of the Seattle Times (Sunday, August 26, 2012) www.seattletimes.com/realestate  featured an article by Judith Graham using the words “lifelong homes”. All of information that I could find on lifelong homes circled back to the book “Independence for Life: Homes and Neighborhoods” co-edited by Henry Cisneros, the former secretary of HUD.  The book is a collection of information by experts in the field of aging and housing.  Mr. Cisneros feels that the creation of lifelong homes and communities should be a priority from the government right on down to you, and I quite agree.  The scope is wide and includes everything from universally designed homes, remodeling current home, new zoning laws and accessible issues within the community.  I haven’t read the book yet because it hasn’t hit my library system, but it is certainly on my to-do list.  I am a big believer in independence for life.

Having a “lifelong home” obviously means that you are planning on staying there forever, right?  We all fear the loneliness and isolation often associated with declining physical capabilities, but that doesn’t keep us from defending to the death our right to stay in our own home.  This isn’t such a farfetched idea.  A very small percentage of seniors actually do end up living in a nursing home.  With a little bit of luck and a lot of good planning, you can make your home a lifelong home.

For more of the interview with Mr. Cisneros check your search engine under the words “lifelong homes”.  This is something that concerns each and every one of us.   Learn how you can make your home a lifelong home, and learn how you can help make your community a senior friendly place to live.  

 

Senior Housing: The Granny Flat or MedCottages as Housing Options

The idea of an accessory unit or backyard housing has been around for quite awhile.  It is a viable housing option for young people returning home or for seniors who want to be closer to their extended families.   Zoning ordinances have relaxed a little and this particular trend continues to gain momentum.    Commonly known as the “Granny Flat” or the “Mother-in-Law Apartment,” an accessory unit allows a young adult or a senior live in a place of their own.  A backyard home allows a sense of independence and freedom that would not be possible under other circumstances.   An accessory unit provides living quarters with separate cooking, sleeping and bathroom facilities, but are attached or detached from the primary family home.  Everyone has their own space, which has become a very important concept these days, while enjoying the benefits of being part of an extended family.

A number of housing options are now available for the adventuresome senior, but backyard housing has a special place in my heart.  Studies show that people place great value on their independence, and living alone is a price that they are willing to pay.    We have gone a bit overboard with the independence thing (not that this is necessarily a bad thing), but when it comes down to it, at the end of the day it is nice to be close to someone who cares about you.   Many seniors actively resist leaving their own place to move in with family or into any care giving situation.  Despite this resistance most are okay with being close, as long as it isn’t too close or isn’t all of the time.    Backyard housing may be the solution.   With backyard housing you can be as independent as you want but you will always have someone nearby who cares about you.   Kelly Greene (The Wall Street Journal: Saturday/Sunday, March 17-18, 2012) wrote about alternate housing options for seniors.  One of the options she mentioned was a MedCottage.  I found this concept appealing and decided to read more about it.    A MedCottage is a small backyard housing unit with a “smart home” design. The house is not only barrier free, but is outfitted so that the person living there can be monitored on-line. Think about how you would like to experience the comforts of a home, proximity to loved ones, and the technology that can make it possible.   I think the idea of a “smart home” is rather exciting.  In other words your backyard abode can be more than just a temporary place to live, and is less expensive than doing extensive remodeling in order to make the primary home senior friendly.  The MedCottage is designed with special features to promote independence while providing a safe environment.   MedCottage is being promoted as a unique and less expensive alternative to living in a care facility.  It is comforting to know that developers are starting to offer housing options designed to meet the changing needs of today’s seniors.    I am hoping that this idea catches on because I think I could live it.

Senior Housing Options: You Can Do It Your Way

The older I get the “less old” I feel.  Thoughts of living in a nursing home or even an assisted living facility are not in my game plan, which means I am drawn to articles that open the door to other possibilities. 

I worked with seniors long before I became one, and it always distressed me when they would quietly whisper that they didn’t want to be a burden to anyone.  It seemed to me to be a mind game that many older people buy into.  I noticed that it had little to do with how much care they actually needed. I didn’t like hearing it then and I like hearing it now even less.   We are going to live too long to settle into that kind of thinking, so let’s figure out a way to be one of the new “non-traditional” seniors. That phrase has a nice ring, don’t you think?

The Wall Street Journal featured an article by Kelly Greene this weekend (March 17-18, 2012) about innovated housing choices for non-traditional seniors.    In many cases, even luxurious spa resorts, cost less or at least no more than traditional living arrangements.    The article examined living abroad, lengthy cruises, backyard bungalows, spa living and more.

What do you think?  It will take a little more thought and creativity but with family support and your willing participation, you should be able to live quite socially and quite comfortably elsewhere.   Granted it will take a little more planning than just writing a monthly check to an institution, but don’t you think you are worth it?   Let yourself dream a little.  With a good advocate, typically an adult child, you can do just about anything your way.

These concepts are new, but I agree with the author that they are here to stay.  People are living longer and they are all going to have to think creatively in order to stretch retirement dollars.  This is where creativity comes in.     Even people developing medical problems (and aren’t we all at this point) don’t want to live out their days in a one room apartment.   Some of the alternatives discussed in this article were living abroad; setting up housekeeping in a small cottage in a family yard, having a condo near a family member, cohousing, spa (resort) living or even taking multiple trips with a cruise line. 

Americans have been retiring abroad since it was first discovered that living elsewhere costs considerably less than staying at home.  You may not like living that far away from your family, but many seniors live in facilities that are thousands of miles away from their nearest relative anyway.  The world is smaller today and anything is possible.  Besides, they may visit more often if you live on a beach in Costa Rica.    However, if you have a warm fuzzy relationship with your adult children you might consider living down the street or even in their backyard.  All sorts of cottages have been developed to house older adults (or an adult child) who prefer to live nearby but in separate living quarters.  The article mentioned MedCottages and this concept sounded great.    I had read about using sensors to monitor home activities but not in a capsule home of your own.  I plan to research this idea a little further.    Apparently, small accessible cottages have been designed and outfitted in such a manner that the person living there can be monitored (on-line if you wish) with regard to health and mobility issues.

The author also mentioned cohousing for anyone interested in being independent but living communally.  I would say off hand that a permanent cruise sounded a little far fetched, but I have met quite a few older people who do indeed do cruise after cruise after cruise.  They love it!   They are able to fulfill their dreams of traveling while enjoying unbelievable amenities.  Some people enjoy the camaraderie of living in a resort part time or even full time.    At any rate, the article was an eye opener and certain presents a number of options to think about.

 

 

Senior Living: A Place To Live

The best way to get out of a rut is to get a place of your own.  Some people want to downsize into a smaller house or an apartment, while others prefer to stay in their family home.  Whatever your choice, now is the time to make your place your own.   Few of us have had the time, the money, or the energy to create the home of our dreams.  Life happened and it was hard enough just keeping the house reasonably clean and tidy.   The decorating schemes featured in glossy magazines and on movie sets were never going to happen anyway.  I can think of a hundred different things that I would do differently if I were starting over again, but do I have the courage to make it happen? 

Perhaps it doesn’t matter.  Some folks are “house proud” and want their homes to reflect something more than just being a place to sleep and eat.  The rest of us might be happy to just have a roof over our heads.   How about you?  Do you want a home that is a showplace or one that looks “lived in”?   You are on your own now and this may be your last chance.

 If you want your home to reflect who you are, now is the time.  Sharon B. Siepel (Essential Survival Guide to Living on Your Own) asks you to decide what is most important to you?   Think in terms of modern, old fashioned, accessible, clean, convenient, comfortable, practical, or light and airy.  Assess what you have and what you want to have, and go from there.

If you are retired you will be spending more time at home, which means it should be something that makes you happy.   If you have always wanted white cabinets, cheery yellow walls, more windows, or French doors that open to the patio, you should go for it.  Make your home just right for you.

Ideally your home should be a reflection of who you are and what you value.  Treat yourself well.  Your home should be your sanctuary.   I read somewhere about using your five senses (sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste) as your guideline.  Sounds rather peaceful and Zen doesn’t it?    A welcoming color, a decorative mat or flowering plants all say “welcome home” when you walk through the door.  Start with your foyer and move through your home.  It should be restful and inviting.  Favorite pieces or artwork, mirrors, comfortable furniture and a lot of light can make it that way for you.

The article went on to discuss how sound, smell, and tactile sensations can delight your senses.  There is no right or wrong.  Your home should be a place that pleases you, but you don’t want to be such a slave to fashion that you lose your sense of adventure.   Doesn’t the thought of birds at a feeder, comfortable furniture, flowers, soft carpets, and silky bed sheets tempt you just a little?  That isn’t to say that being surrounded by your own projects isn’t good too.  It is your place after all, go for it!

Senior Living: Living On Your Own

Living on your own can be difficult at any age, but especially trying if you have spent a lifetime caring for and/or being cared for by others.   It doesn’t help that others assume that older people who live alone feel isolated and lonely.

It is possible for older people to live alone, and to do so successfully.  It is easier to accept if you can separate the idea that living alone and being lonely are different.  Some older people actually like living on their own.  Lorna Easterbrook, editor of WwoP (Working with older People) examines some of the assumptions made about older people living alone.  People who adjust well think of it as “living on my own” rather than as “living alone”. The focus is on “living” rather than on “alone”. There is a subtle difference if you can pick up on the nuances.

If you have been on the giving or receiving end of a care-giving relationship it will undoubtedly take longer to adjust.  You may not realize it, but somewhere along the line you have forgotten how to enjoy your own company. Once you get over the idea that every moment needs to be filled with busyness, it will be easier to figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life.  After all, you never stop being a work in process.  If you already enjoy your own company it will be easier.  It should feel good to be in control and to do things that you want to do for a change.  If you have denied yourself the simple pleasures of a nap or a bubble bath in the middle of the day, you will know what I am talking about.  Do you feel guilty if you watch a daytime soap, play tennis in the evening, order a pizza for dinner or fall asleep with the television on?  Will the world end tomorrow if you have leftovers for breakfast instead of bacon and eggs?  Do what you want to do.  

 It is good to form connections with others, young and old, that have nothing to do with business luncheons or fund raisers.  Be open to accepting all kinds of invitations that will get you out of the house.  You may meet some very interesting people.  Living alone means that there is only one of you, so all chores associated with independent living will have to be done by you.  Cooking, housework, yard work and home maintenance will all fall on your shoulders.  This may cut seriously into your periods of self fulfillment and may make you reconsider where you want to live.  . 

Rediscovering who you are could be the adventure of a lifetime. Give yourself a chance before jumping into another relationship just because you are alone.   So, what do you want to be when you grow up?  What were you doing before your plans were derailed by school, job, marriage and children?   No ideas?  Now is the time to explore your options, and gain new experiences. Over the next few days I would like to examine some of the issues that occur when you find yourself living on your own.  Please ask questions and share experiences.

 

Senior Living: Multigenerational Living

We don’t seem to look at the idea of grown children returning to the family home in quite the same way as when a parent moves in with an adult child.   A parent moving in is often seen as more of an intrusion; perhaps because few of us know how handle the dynamics of this relationship.   We should though; there really isn’t much difference.

Grown children moving back home with mom and dad is the commonest intergenerational situation, but the reverse isn’t far behind these days.  The key of course is each person taking it upon themselves to make the situation work.   Parents have to stop being hyper-critical and they have to stop treating adult children like kids needing to be taken care of.  Kids, on the other hand, have to stop treating parents and grandparents like big children who have stopped having minds of their own.   You wouldn’t be micro-managing the lives of an adult stranger who was renting a room or a suite of rooms in your house would you?

It is not easy to have a parent (child) move into the family home again.  Adult parents need to see their children as grown-up people and treat them accordingly, but the same applies to children treating older adults with respect and consideration.    Both parties need to nurture and encourage independence in the other.    

Hopefully you have taken into consideration whether you have enough physical space to accommodate another person in your house, or if you are willing to give up the privacy that only living alone can give you.  It is rather like marriage except that you may have a lot more old issues to resolve.  My family is as dysfunctional as the next; my in-laws were cranky, opinionated, and stubborn and we had to walk on egg shells to keep peace.   Grandma would have adapted because she was quite feisty but it would have been more of a struggle for grandpa.  My folks, on the other hand, had kids move back home that never left.  They learned about intergeneration living long before the term was ever coined.   It worked out rather well, except that I thought it was sad that they never had any time by themselves.    We all need alone time and this should be factored in the equation.  Everyone needs somewhere to go where they can be alone.

How do you make the situation work for everyone?  There have to be some rules and some limits set at the onset.  There has to be a level of communication that rises above parent/child or child/parent level.   Discuss expectations on all levels (rent, chores, cost of utilities, duties, obligations, whatever). There also have to be an agreement on issues like smoking, noise levels, late night television and overnight houseguests.  It isn’t easy for a senior to move in with adult children either.  It is a huge adjustment for all and it takes a lot of work to turn a difficult situation into a positive one. 

 

 

Senior Health: Drug Addiction Can Happen To Anyone

An article in the Weekly Herald (November 16, 2011) by Mina Williams discussed the increased problem of drug use, particularly pain killers, in the United States.  It was a real eye opener, particular as seniors are often prime offenders.    All of our older and wiser adages seem to evaporate when we start looking for drugstore health care.   The author emphasizes that anyone can suffer from this type of disorder. 

I like it when prime time television programming uses a storyline to promote health care issues.   We all love a good medical thriller told from the viewpoint of a hot shot doctor.  The story is riveting and it is brilliant way to impart a little information to an unsuspecting public.  At times AARP magazine will critique popular shows in light of whether or not they advantage of the opportunity to teach, under the guise of entertainment.   A Gifted Man, a few weeks ago, was about a young woman who nearly died because she didn’t tell her doctor that she was taking an over-the-counter medication for depression.  This is a hot topic and something that should not be overlooked.

Seniors are no exception.  Baby Boomers grew up with the idea that there was drug for everything.  I read that our generation uses more prescription and over-the-counter medications than any other age group.  Older adults tend to become dependent on over-the-counter and prescription drugs.  We self medicate at an alarming rate because we see drugs as a “quick fix” for just about everything.  Prescription drug advertising on television and in main stream magazines feed on this belief; as they encourage people to beg for every new medication that hits the market.

When taken appropriately, pain killers, sedatives and anti-depressants can play an important role in improving the quality of life.  However, if pills serve to mask symptoms rather than curing them, a vicious cycle may ensue.  Your dreams of independent living could very well hinge on the number of medications you consume.   Continued drug use into older age has been known to compound problems with memory and cognition.  Medical problems are often associated with prescription drug abuse and they have been well documented. 

 Home wellness visits to seniors in independent living facilities include frank discussions about medication management.  We would often see pills scattered all over the rooms, and were often invited to look at drawers full of pill bottles accumulated over the years.  Scary picture isn’t it?  Drug abuse is often about pain killers but seniors have more to worry about that that.  Slower metabolism, interactions between various prescriptions, interactions with over-the-counter medications, and with alcohol consumption all figure into the picture.   Mismanaging medications might include:

• Taking a larger doze than prescribed
• Sharing medication, more than half of people who misuse prescription pain killers say that they get them from family member or friends
• Failing to Take Medications because they are too expensive or they don’t like the side effects
• Taking smaller than ordered doses to make the pills last longer
• Consuming out of date medications
• Not taking medications on time or taking them too often
• Being obsessed with the need for pain and sleeping medications

A drug should never be used as a “quick fix”; every pill that you put into your mouth should be scrutinized by you primary care physician.  Keep your drug intake to a minimum, discard old prescriptions, discuss all medications with your physician and reap the benefits of good health.

Independent Living: How Does Your House Shape Up?

On Monday I wrote about why seniors seem to be thumbing their collective noses at Universal Design.    Thumbing noses is a bit extreme but I think you know what I mean.  We have pretty much established that many of us are in denial about our own present or future needs.

People who have decided to invite aging relatives to live with them are the most likely to embark on senior friendly remodeling projects.  If that is what it takes to make you feel better about it so-be-it, it is a good place to start.  Think of it as Mom or Aunt Susie once again having a positive influence on your life.

I browsed through the book “Universal Design for the Home” by Wendy A. Jordan and liked what I saw.  If we decide to move I now know what I will be looking for.  Frankly of all of the houses and floor models that I have seen the most universal design friendly are the ones featured in manufactured homes, but that doesn’t mean that other’s aren’t out there.  Still, a lot of us can’t afford new homes right now.

The first decision to make is whether you are going to remodel your existing home or build a new one.  The second decision is whether you are looking at a short term fix for Mom, or if you have the foresight to be thinking about your own future.  

 Universal Design features really aren’t that scary.  Look around your own home and think about what you could do to make your home a safer and more convenient place.  I did that and it was quite an eye opener.  Our split level is 40 or more years old and it is a pretty common design.  Contractors at that time weren’t known for having a lot of imagination.

Universal Design specifications tell us that it would be good if at least one entry area had no steps.  That makes sense doesn’t it?  Our house has a slopping driveway and two flights of four steps just to get into the house.   There are seven more steps from the foyer to the living area and seven more down to the laundry and lower level.  Split-level houses may have seemed like a good idea 40 years ago, but it doesn’t look so good now.

The foyer has a high ceiling and you need a ladder to dust the light fixtures and reach the corners.  Whose idea was that?  The doorways are standard size (which means probably not wide enough for a wheelchair, and the corners mostly sharp right angle turns).  The only thing remotely universal is there are no hidden or sunken steps, and fortunately the thresholds are all level.  The stairs are not low and deep and they do not have handrails on both sides.  Light switches are in the standard places, which mean too high up to reach easily from a seated position.  The electrical outlets (except the ones above kitchen counters) are at floor level.  We do not have easy grip door handles, drawer hardware, faucets and the appliances are all standard.  We have plenty of lighting because we all like to read, but no ceiling lights in the living room.  It is difficult to clean or remove screens from the living area windows.  The living room and dining room are fairly open and are good sized. I don’t know what to say about the French Doors that open onto a deck that has 14 stair steps down to the lawn. This is just a first glance at the main living area.  I plan to scrutinize a few more rooms over the next few days.  Can this house be rehabilitated?

Senior Living: Why Aren't Seniors Embracing the Idea of Universal Design?

As a senior, you already have a certain degree of familiarity with the terms aging-in-place, barrier-free living, accessibility and universal design.  Knowing all about aging-in-place is one thing, but thinking that it might apply to you is something else.  Older seniors might think it is already too late to make changes, but seniors of all ages need to embrace the idea with a little more enthusiasm.  It is time to get used to the idea that people are living longer and that they will all need a safer place to live.   Unfortunately the word “aging” is smack dab in the middle of the “aging-in-place” concept, and it doesn’t sit well with many of us.  We all want to age gracefully and we all want to be independent, but we persist in viewing aging as something that happens to other people.    It is not surprising that this haze of denial means that the need for special products and home modifications get pushed aside.

 We are as guilty as everyone else.  My husband and I are rapidly approaching the age when we will need to think about how and where we are going to live.   Moving into a single story dwelling is probably the best idea, but in the meantime I am hoping that a few adjustments will stave off an eminent move.

Universal Design is not only the wave of the future but a concept that needs to be addressed right now.  The truth is that universal design addresses what all of us will need at some point in our lives.  By making small or large changes, older adults can make their homes safer and more convenient.  As adults age, they find that they have to figure out ways to use their space differently.  I am hopeful that we can take the same space and turn in to something better.

You don’t always have to knock down walls or embark on major renovation projects. Simple cost effective changes can reflect universal design concepts without costing an arm or a leg.   A serious remodeling job could turn your house into a universal dream house.  On the other hand, if you can’t take on a project of that magnitude, you can still make modifications that will work for you.  Universal Design makes good sense.   It just means making things more”user friendly,” and that is a modern term that we all understand.  The best part is that universal design does not have to look like it was designed for someone in a wheelchair.  Universal Design can be attractive and it can be invisible.  No one has to know, and it could be your best shot at staying in your own home.