Smart Senior

Senior Living: When Hearing Becomes an Issue

If you have ceased to enjoy group gatherings, are refusing dinner invitations, or find yourself avoiding telephone conversations, you may be allowing yourself to become socially isolated.    People who study aging remind us often that socialization plays an important role in successful aging.    Communication is the basis of all social interactions

Loss of hearing makes communication frustrating.   Attending discussion groups, idle chit chat over meals or catching up on family gossip by phone is what keeps you in the loop.  Not being able to hear is frustrating not only for you, but for the people who want to talk to you.  If you shut them out you have severed an important link.

You may have toyed with the idea of learning sign language, but it is hard and everyone else would have to learn too.  Communication is a two way process. Lip reading is a good option, but once again it takes time and effort to figure out the words, and you have to keep reminding people that they need to get your attention (without sneaking up and scaring you) and speak right to your face. 

Hearing aids are state of the art these days but many seniors reject them out of hand.  They refuse to wear them because they find them uncomfortable and leave them out more often than not.  People often lose hearing aids because they don’t wear them all the time.  Aids left on dinner tables or bedside tables often end up in the garbage.  Hearing aids are too expensive to be treated casually.   They need to be fitted by a professional and they need to be worn all of the time if you want to get used to them.  

Another option is closed caption.  You know what that is.  Many television sets have a closed caption option.  A written translation appears on the bottom of the screen so that you don’t miss any of the dialogs or lose track of the story line.   How many of you are taking advantage of that?  It is great tool, but in all of my years working with seniors I only saw one or two people use it.

Captioning telephones have also been around for a long while, but I have only seen them in use once or twice.  Captioned phones are available for nearly everyone now and they are no longer deemed mysterious or complicated. Captioning telephones are modern technology at its best.  It can be difficult to understand people talking on the phone under the best of circumstances so you are not alone.   A captioned telephone looks and works just like a regular phone except that a built in display screen spells out everything the other party is saying during a conversation.  If you feel that you have missed a part of the conversation you can read the words on the screen without being embarrassed of asking the other person to repeat themselves.  Research Captioning Telephones and find out if they could add a little something extra to your life.  Keep your lines of communication open.

 

Senior Health and Fitness: Men Can Have Osteoporosis Too

 

The same endearing qualities that keep men from asking for directions could be why they refuse to take health care seriously.   Guys, it seems, are less likely to seek medical advice than their female counterparts.  Experts tell us that it seems to have something to do with their feelings about masculinity.  Is this true?  Do admired traits such as strength, dominance, and self reliance stand in the way of preventive care?

Men are tough and they are living longer.  If you live longer you are bound to have more health care issues. This brings me to the subject of osteoporosis.  I like to people watch. The next time you go out, even if it is just to your favorite fast food restaurant, look around and tell me what you see.   I’ve been noticing that a lot of older men are walking with their shoulders and spines hunched forward.  Men get osteoporosis too.

When most people think of osteoporosis they automatically think “women.” The truth is that by age 70 men are losing bone at nearly the same rate as women.   Men are famous for not taking care of themselves; too many drink alcohol to excess, smoke, eat a poor diet, use illegal drugs, have unsafe sex, and are likely to take risks.  They tend to ignore their concerns until well past the point of early diagnosis and treatment.  On average men see their doctors less often than women.

Men most likely to have osteoporosis are over age 75, have a low body –mass index, have lost more than 5% of their body weight, currently smoke and are physically inactive.  Osteoporosis in men is more likely to be secondary to other disease processes or metabolic problems, but that doesn’t make it less debilitating.   Of course genes factor into the equation too.  If you notice that your father is “shrinking” (losing height) or has had a hip fracture, he may have osteoporosis.  What does that mean to you? It means that you are at risk of following in his footsteps.  Think prevention.  Even if you are symptom free you should recognize that men get osteoporosis too.  Ask your doctor about bone density screening if you are even a little concerned that osteoporosis runs in your family.  The same advice applies as for women.  You want to prevent a fracture, which means that you need to safety proof your house and exercise to improve balance and increase strength.  A healthy diet and recommended supplements work as well for mean as for women.

 

Seniors and Relationships: Grandparents and Grandchildren

  

At times it may seem that grandparents are either “too old” or too ‘old fashioned’ to appreciate the dynamics of a modern family.   Down deep you know that family history and cultural values are important, but you may not know how to bring everyone together.  As a parent, how do you make sure that both your parents and your children feel that they are a part of something truly wonderful?

Being a grandparent should mean more than running a free babysitting service.  The word family implies that a relationship exists, and we all know that relationships take work.  This topic is addressed often in books and newspaper articles so the concept isn’t entirely foreign.  Here are a few suggestions that sounded good to me:

• Invite the grandparents along to the child’s activities.  No one can ever have too many people cheering them on.  Remember to take camp chairs or sports cushions along to make sure bleacher activities are comfortable for all.

• Invite the grandparents to your house rather than always going to theirs.  They shouldn’t have to feel that they have to put on a big spread every time you get together. 

• If the family does gather at your parent’s home, don’t forget to help with the dishes.  Stay at a hotel if you feel that noise and over stimulation will be an issue.  It isn’t just for their sake but for your own sanity as well.

• Find something fun that you can do together.  What about playing cards? The senior centers are filled with people who enjoy playing cards.   Kids like to play too.  Fun has no age limit.   Encourage grandparents to share their passions.  A grandparent who loves to cook or one with a passion for photography would be happy to share skills with others.  An evening of sharing could be an eye-opener at all.

• Grandparents may seem rude and inflexible to teenagers; and teenage angst may be more than a grandparent can stand.  As a third party you need to mediate and remind both that a little give and take on both sides is not only expected but important.

Older people often feel uncomfortable around new and rebellious young people, but perhaps there are two sides to that coin.     Encourage tolerance and communication.   Drawing pictures, celebrating special occasions, writing letters, sending e-mails and mementos are a start.   Vacation together.  Learn together.  Play together.

 

 

Senior Health: Hire a Companion Sitter to Help During Hospital Admissions

 

A hospital stay is unsettling under any circumstances, but for a senior it can easily become a real nightmare.  Unfamiliar surroundings, strangers, senses dulled by poorly metabolized medications, and pain can all contribute to a state of confusion and disorientation.  Deprived of mental and physical stimulation the consequences can be dire.  Friends and family members will all stop by, but we all know that it is impossible for them to be there twenty-four hours a day.

A hospital is no place to be left alone, but alone your mom or dad will be.  Busy nurses are responsible for many patients, and they simply cannot provide the continual monitoring that an older patient may need.  Even with adequate staffing and the latest monitoring equipment, the older patient will be left alone much of the time.  A senior being left alone is an accident waiting to happen.  It isn’t that they are being neglected, or that no one cares, but it really does “take a village” to ensure a safe environment.

How would you feel if you woke up in a strange room with an oxygen tube, a catheter, and intravenous providing fluids and pain medication? You don’t remember what happened, you don’t know where you are, and nothing is familiar to you.  Pretty frightening don’t you think?  Disorientated or sedated patients can easily injure themselves.   It only takes an instant for a serious accident to happen.   A senior does not handle pain, medications, or isolation as well as you might think.

Your loved one needs someone with them all the time during a hospitalization.  The problem of course is that family members are busy or not available at all.  They also may feel that they are already paying more than they can afford.  This all may be true, but a hospital simply cannot not provide the kind of care that an older patient needs.  Hiring a hospital sitter (a caregiver who provides round-the-clock companionship and monitoring for a patient) for those first critical days can save you money in the long run.  A sitter can keep watch, run errands, be there when an unconscious patient wakes up, read to them, or just hold a hand.  It can make a difference.

A hospital sitter does not replace a nurse.  They do not assist with physical care and know to stay out of the way of hospital staff.  If the patient has an urgent need the sitter summons a staff member.   I know, you really hate the idea of hiring someone to just “be there” but it is important and will facilitate recovery in the long run.  A sitter can provide much needed TLC (tender loving care) as well of peace and mind for the whole family.  The family members can go home and rest knowing that their loved one will never be alone.  You can ask your doctor, a nurse, or a hospital social worker to help arrange this type of help.

 

 

 

 

 

Senior Living: What Home Care Can Mean For You

 

Surveys indicate that most seniors want to age-in-place.  This means that they want to be independent and they want to stay in their own homes.  This isn’t a new concept, but it is being revisited because people are living longer than ever before.  Aging in place is clearly a popular option but it requires a certain amount of planning to make it successful. 

We all know that age brings on certain limitations, and these limitations may make it difficult to manage. It is not unusual for seniors to require help performing basic activities.  You may have hated doing housework and couldn’t boil water all of your life, and that was fine.  Now, all of a sudden, everything you do is under scrutiny.   Housework, cooking, and shopping have become indicators of whether you are capable of managing on your own.

 Most seniors who remain in their own homes get help from an informal network which includes friends, neighbors, and family.  As you grow older your network shrinks or disappears altogether. You may find it necessary to hire help via a home care agency or move to be near a family member.  This is your support system.  We have all heard about the seniors in the community who are teetering on the edge but refuse to leave their own homes.  Hopefully a plan has been put into action long before the hair pulling stage.  The plan needs to include your physical, emotional, and financial capabilities.

Needing help is nothing to be ashamed of.  Needing help does not mean that you are not capable of managing in your own home.  Think of accepting help as a safety net.  It is a known fact that older people who do not have help with daily tasks are more apt to be hospitalized than those who do. Seniors are less likely to experience medical catastrophes such as hunger, dehydration, falls and skin problems if someone is checking in with them on a daily basis

Moving into a retirement community is always an option but it doesn’t have to be the only option.  Many older adults can continue to live in their own homes if they receive assistance with basic needs.   Many of them do not need round-the-clock medical care, just some a little help with activities that elude them.  Area Divisions on Aging can provide a wealth for information about community services to help beleaguered families do what is best for their loved ones.

Senior Living: What Home Can Can Mean For You

 

Surveys indicate that most seniors want to age-in-place.  This means that they want to be independent and they want to stay in their own homes.  This isn’t a new concept, but it is being revisited because people are living longer than ever before.  Aging in place is clearly a popular option but it requires a certain amount of planning to make it successful. 

We all know that age brings on certain limitations, and these limitations may make it difficult to manage. It is not unusual for seniors to require help performing basic activities.  You may have hated doing housework and couldn’t boil water all of your life, and that was fine.  Now, all of a sudden, everything you do is under scrutiny.   Housework, cooking, and shopping have become indicators of whether you are capable of managing on your own.

 Most seniors who remain in their own homes get help from an informal network which includes friends, neighbors, and family.  As you grow older your network shrinks or disappears altogether. You may find it necessary to hire help via a home care agency or move to be near a family member.  This is your support system.  We have all heard about the seniors in the community who are teetering on the edge but refuse to leave their own homes.  Hopefully a plan has been put into action long before the hair pulling stage.  The plan needs to include your physical, emotional, and financial capabilities.

Needing help is nothing to be ashamed of.  Needing help does not mean that you are not capable of managing in your own home.  Think of accepting help as a safety net.  It is a known fact that older people who do not have help with daily tasks are more apt to be hospitalized than those who do. Seniors are less likely to experience medical catastrophes such as hunger, dehydration, falls and skin problems if someone is checking in with them on a daily basis

Moving into a retirement community is always an option but it doesn’t have to be the only option.  Many older adults can continue to live in their own homes if they receive assistance with basic needs.   Many of them do not need round-the-clock medical care, just some a little help with activities that elude them.  Area Divisions on Aging can provide a wealth for information about community services to help beleaguered families do what is best for their loved ones.

Nutrition and Senior Health: Feed a Cold and Starve a What?

 

What is the first thing that comes to mind when a good friend tells you that he/she feels a cold coming on, or that she/he has been discharged from the hospital?    You either tell them to put over a big pot of chicken noodle soup or you hand deliver your favorite comfort food.   That’s what friends are for.   A bowl of hot soup is a cure-all, and anything with melted chocolate is sure to make anyone feel better.

Good nutrition is important.  When you are ill you hardly have enough strength to make it to the kitchen, much less prepare nutritious meals.  If you are a student away from home for the very first time or a senior trying to recuperate on your own, a little help would be appreciated.   In the old days whole communities would gather around with enough food to feed an army, but times have changed.  Most of us aren’t that close to family and friends any more.  For the most part you can consider yourself lucky if anyone notices that you haven’t been out and about for a few days.

Money is always an issue. When I worked with seniors I found that most would accept food offerings if we slipped them something on the sly, so to speak, but they wouldn’t ask for anything if they thought they had to pay for it.  They would suffer in silence rather than ask for help.  Family members who live far away may sense that something is wrong, but for the most part don’t know how to offer help by long distance.

I was intrigued by a mini-article in The Herald (Sunday, February 17, 2013). Andrea Brown wrote about “comfort by mail”.  She mentioned a business called Spoonful of Comfort that mails care package filled with nutritious goodies.  The specialty seems to be gourmet soups that can be delivered quickly to anyone needing a hug and some tender-loving-care.  Please check out (www.spoonfulofcomfort.com) if you know someone who needs a care-package to help them through a tough time.

Care packages don’t always have to be soup and recipients don’t have to be sick in order to love the thought.  A care package is a lovely way to let someone know that you are thinking about them.  Free up a moment in your busy schedule and send your favorite senior, college student, or soldier a care package today.

 

.

Senior Living: The Good Grand Parent

 I love reading grand parenting columns in the newspaper.  What does it take to be a good grandparent?     When we were kids grandparents lived in the neighborhood.  They attended every recital and every sporting event and hosted holiday dinners.   Grand parents babysat, gave lavish presents, and made sure that the cookie jar was always full.    Grand-parenting is a little more complicated today.  When our children started marrying later in life and having children even later than that, it ushered in a whole new age. To start with, grandparents are older.  You may find yourself a first time grandparent at 60 or 70, and you may be wondering what role you will be expected to play.  

The biggest problem today is that families are often separated by hundreds if not thousands of miles.   Face to face interactions may be limited to once or twice a year.  Kids grow and change so much in a year that you hardly recognize them.  Each meeting is like starting over again.  It is difficult to maintain a relationship under these circumstances.  Someone (meaning you) will need to make an effort to nurture family relationships.       Grand parenting from a distance is serious business and can be very challenging.

Do you want to be a part of their lives or not?  Grand parents are often portrayed as being either over indulgent push-over’s or stern disciplinarians.  Neither is ideal.  You just want to be there for them, and you want them to know that.   You are the grown-up so it is up to you to be the first to reach out.

• Start small.  One of you needs to open the lines of communication by writing, phoning, mailing or e-mailing every week.  Talk and listen. Initiate some real life conversations, and for “Pete’s Sake” talk about what you have in common instead of complaining about differences.  
• Learn how to use technology.  Enough of this aversion to modern technology.  You are not too old to use cell phones, computers, and Skype messaging.  If you can’t be a physical grandparent you can be a virtual one.
• Introduce the kids to cooking, gardening, or other special hobbies.  Encourage an interest in reading.   More than one grandchild has learned how to read, crochet or knit from a grandparent.
• Attend school activities and recitals if you can.  Of course, if you live too far away a video of the activities may have to do, but take an interest.
• Go places.   Some older people are reluctant to leave their comfort zone.  Join the family for vacation fun and sporting activities.  

Grandchildren are not little people to be viewed from a distance.  Just hoping that they turn our alright is not enough.  If you give them a chance they will give meaning to your life, they will make you laugh, and they will keep you young.

 Check in with (www.grandparenting.org) if you don’t know where to start.   Read the book “Connect with your grandkids,” by Cheri Fuller for all sort of ideas on how to become a good grandparent.  It is all about being a part of their lives.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Senior Health: Are You Getting Enough to Eat?

That sounds like a silly question doesn’t it?  Obesity is rampant, so no doubt you wonder why I am asking if you get enough to eat.     Malnutrition is a word that applies to the homeless, certainly not to you, or to the elderly neighbor next door.

It’s hard to think that people that we know might actually be malnourished. So much of our attention is focused on whether we should buy organic produce or grass fed meat that we forget about the basics.   We eat and think about food a lot.  How can we be malnourished when we are so fat?   It is true though…statistics tell us that many of our senior citizens are malnourished.

Many Americans, especially older Americans, do not come close to getting the minimum daily requirements of important nutrients.  Vitamin D and Calcium, Vitamin B 12, fiber, potassium and magnesium are not just words that apply to someone else.    Instead, we expect to stay healthy if we obey the rules that tell us that fat, sugar and salt are going to be the death of us.  We are so focused on low fat, low sugar, and low salt that we fail to look at the most important nutrients at all.   Vitamins, minerals, and fibers are important too, and believe it or not, sometimes a multivitamin pill just isn’t enough.     Good nutrition often means the different between illness and health.

You aren’t hungry and you are doing the best that you can, and what is the worst that can happen anyway?  Food is food, right?  Well, not exactly.   Your great grandmother or your next door neighbor could be starving for want of good food.  It isn’t enough to shrug your shoulders and say they are just “getting old,” and what is the difference anyway?      Symptoms of malnutrition are often misinterpreted.   Symptoms such as fatigue, poor muscle tone, decreased strength, unintentional weight loss, anemia, confusion and/or memory loss could be a sign that something is missing in the diet.

One thing tends to lead to another.  Living alone, depression, being on a fixed income, poor dentition and lack of appetite can spiral out of control.  There are a lot of culprits and one of them might be inability to cope with a special diet.   Yes, special diets are often the treatment of choice for chronic conditions, but by the time you read about all of the “have and have not’s,” the resulting lack of taste may seem like too much trouble to someone who doesn’t feel all that good anyway.

What do you do if you suspect that a relative or a favorite neighbor is falling between the cracks?   Rally the forces, whether they are your family or the families of your friends.  Let them know that you care.   Perhaps take him/her out to dinner, invite them to your place, or bring a take out meal to share.  The social stimulation is almost as important as the food.  

You probably already tuck a bag of groceries into the food collection bins, but why not look a little closer to home?   A two for one sale is the perfect opportunity to stock up or share with someone who can’t make it to the store.   Instead of pushing leftovers to the back of the refrigerator (I know I am not the only one that never gets around to eating leftovers), share them with someone else who might appreciate your home cooking efforts.   Remind other family members that gifts of food are always welcome.  Better yet, arrange for transportation to a senior center.  Many of them have vans and serve nutritious and delicious meals 5 days a week.  For the home bound, check into home delivery of meals.  We’ve all seen how Americans rally around to help people in need; sometimes you don’t have to look any further than your own neighborhood.  

Senior Living: How Approachable Are You?

There is nothing more unapproachable than a glum cranky looking person.  We see this a lot in young people who are intent on their electronic devices, but seniors often aren’t very friendly either.  Why do we do it?  People seem to have forgotten how to smile; they have forgotten how to be nice.  Seniors get a lot of bad press.  Typical stereotypes tell the world that we are senile, that we can’t remember things, that we are rigid, depressed and depressing, lonely and isolated.  Well granted, if we buy into to all that we might not feel like smiling or being nice.  The trouble with stereotypes is that if you hear them often enough you start to believe them, and pretty soon you become those people.

It is not that most folks don’t want to be nice.  People simply get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday living that they forget to take the time to nod, or smile, or make themselves approachable.   Since when have smart phones and other forms of electronic communication taken the place of the simple smile?  I was actually appalled when I heard on the news this morning that airlines are planning on making cell phone use available during flights.  Can you imagine being trapped next to someone yakking on their phones all the way across the country? Oh oh, there I go again…being cranky!

Let’s think about that for awhile. A smile is contagious.   Let’s try by smiling more often, making eye contact, and calling people by name.  Speak as if you think that person might have something worthwhile to say, thank them for their time, and don’t be so stingy with compliments.   Let’s see if we can go out of our way to be nice. It could be an experiment. 

I love Oprah magazine.  In the latest edition (September 2012) the magazine (www.oprah.com/magazine) featured an article by Meredith Bryan called “How Can I Be Nice,” and it made me think.  The author talks about how she lived in a busy city that was teeming with life.  The city was also teeming with strangers and she didn’t know any of them.  She didn’t speak to anyone that she didn’t know and she kept her eyes downcast when scurrying around.  What does that say about her, what does it say about us?  She decided to smile more and she discovered that she liked the way it made her feel.  She liked it so much that she wrote an article so that she could share the feeling with her readers.

Shari Caudron (Workforce: March 2001) also wrote about how a smile can make your world shift gears. Feeling good and letting the world know that you feel good by treating it to a smile, does wonders for your attitude.  A good attitude, she discovered, could change your world.   She concluded by saying that if you smile the world smiles with you.  Frown and you frown alone.  Pretty profound don’t you think?  Try to smile; you could be a good will ambassador for seniors everywhere.  Being described as nice is one of the most meaningful descriptions that someone can make about you.   It isn’t that most people don’t want to be nice, they have just forgotten how.