Smart Senior

Senior Living: Financial Planning - Can You Afford Life as You Know It?

        

Thousands of books have been written about finances and retirement.  Unfortunately most of them don’t look far enough into the future.   If you are entertaining the idea of living well into your 90s or beyond, you are going to give financial planning closer scrutiny.  We aren’t just talking about what you will leave your heirs, but about how you are going to be able to continue living life as you know it today.

People get into the habit of living from pay check to pay check during their affluent years, but what happens after retirement?  If you haven’t been paying attention to your finances, expenses, investments, debt, taxes, and any other assets you may have, you may be in for a rude awakening.  If you don’t have money to cover basic needs your lifestyle is going to be seriously limited.   Even people with retirement savings may find that they don’t have enough money coming in to pay the bills, much less handle a serious illness.

So, how long do you have to work until you can afford not to work for the rest of your life?  In this economy it may be longer than you think.  Where will your income be coming from?  Will your income be able to handle unexpected emergencies?

Guard your money.  Get rich schemes should never be considered.  Older people are easy targets for scam artists so hold your money near and dear.  It has become common practice for young wage earners to live beyond their means.  This has to stop.  When you get older you no longer have the time to catch up or make up the difference between what comes in and what goes out.  The time has come when you absolutely must learn how to live below your means.

Managing your money is a full time job.  Who will manage your money as an adviser or representative if you can no longer manage?  If you are managing your money and your investments now, could your spouse take over that responsibility if something happened to you?  Financial experts often recommend setting up a trust with several individuals working together to protect your interests.

Longevity as well as the shifting economy may mean that leaving a sizeable estate for children and grandchildren is no longer a given.  At this point meeting your own basic needs it a priority; as well as making sure that your family doesn’t go into debt caring for you. Your future has to have a place for you in it.

 

 

 

 

Senior Living: Who Will Take Care of You?

                   

Independence and being able to take care of your own health and well being is a good thing, but what if that isn’t always possible? The downside to longevity is that you may not have a support system when you need it most.  This is a topic that most of us don’t want to think about, but if you live 90 plus years you are going to need help in one way or another.

Needless to say, the article by Pamela Yip in the weekend issue (April 21, 2013) of the Herald (www.Heraldnet.com/business) caught my eye.  The article (www.dallasnews.com/business/columnists) touched on this very important topic, and raised questions that we all need to think about.  I was not surprised, after years of working with seniors, to read that the number of people who do not have a support system in place is on the rise.  Have you thought about what this could mean to you? 

Many seniors are hopeful that family members will step forward when the time comes, but this isn’t always an option.  You don’t have to read very many advice columns to realize how that many people are estranged from family members or are in long distant relationships.   Many people, who are single, divorced, widowed, or live alone for one reason or another find themselves in this category.   Whatever the reason, the end result is that more and more people are finding themselves alone as they grow older.

People who face this dilemma need to think about it in advance; before something catastrophic happens to them.  Most will need to investigate the sources of support and care available to them in the retirement facility or the community that they call home.  It is quite essential to have someone to take on both financial and medical powers of attorney for you in the event that you can not make decisions yourself.

Your support system may have to consist of people other than relatives.  Of course this means that you need to cultivate friendships and connections on your own.  Look into community organizations that serve seniors.  Your church, a local senior center or any division on aging can point you in the right direction.  Ideally, the person you entrust with having financial and medical powers of attorney for you will be someone who knows and respects your wishes.   Be active in your community and church so that you aren’t just another face in a crowd, and consider mending fences with family members if it isn’t too late.   I’ve known many people who have reconnected with grandchildren or other distant relatives during these most difficult times.

Senior Living: Longevity (Keeping Busy as You Grow Older)

   

What will you do if you find yourself alive and well at 90 or even 100 years of age?   This idea isn’t as far fetched as you might think.  Advances in science and medicine are making health and longevity a very likely prospect.   The biggest concern is how you are going to afford to keep yourself in the manner you have become accustomed.  

Work is a good thing. A job not only provides intellectual stimulation but often makes up the bulk of your social network.   Many people can’t wait for retirement, but others find the idea frightening and socially unacceptable.  If you want to work longer but find your job too physically or emotionally challenging you could be caught in the middle.  For your own mental health you might need to consider working part time or looking into a second career.  Delaying retirement is certainly something many have thought about.

Is working in your first career field even an option?   Pilots, military personal, police officers and others have mandatory retirement laws.   High stress careers such as nursing, teaching, or corporate leadership roles are difficult to sustain.   It isn’t unusual for people to want more sanity in their lives as they grow older.

Some businesses are good about adapting the work environment to meet the needs of older employees, but others just want to have them gone.   However, recent articles in business journals are reporting that there is a growing demand for temporary and contract work.  This type of work might be perfect for the mature worker who would love to be able to take breaks between assignments.  Hopefully, by the time the baby boomers reach their 80s mandatory retirement laws will be changed so that older workers will have more options. 

If you retire at 65 what are you going to be doing in your 80s, 90s and possibly longer?  Some will delay retirement, plan for a second career, do volunteer work, or just quite working altogether.  Some will return to school, turn a hobby into a career, work at something mindless but socially fulfilling, or end up being a caregiver for a spouse or grandchildren.

 Those who are able to stop working altogether will have time to enjoy sports, hobbies, and travel as well as spending quality time with their families.   Some people are eager to pursuit advanced degrees or take life long learning classes for the sheer joy of learning.  The increasing availability of college courses provides wonderful opportunities for the senior student.

Hopefully you will have a ready answer when someone asks you what you are going to do with all of your extra time.  It would be nice if you could be enthusiastic when you near 100 as you were when you were 50. 

Senior Living: The Future is Now

          

What do you think about your future?  Seniors are more apt to think about what they are leaving to their children and their grandchildren than they are about themselves. This is certainly understandable, but let’s look a little closer to home.  What about your future?

I read an article by Verne Wheelwright in an issue of The Futurist (www.wfs.org/futurist) magazine (Nov/Dec 2010) and it had more food for thought than I would have imagined.  The article “strategies for living a very long life” were projections into the future but not in a science fiction sense.   Believe it or not, the future is right now. The article took a peek not only at what is ahead, but at what is happening right now.

 People are living longer and are healthier than they were a very short time ago.   Advances in science and medicine are predicting that these numbers are going to increase both quality of life and life expectancy in the immediate future.  What do these predictions and statistics mean to you?

 Seniors have had a tendency not to plan very far into the future.  They have always figured that they didn’t have much time left so it really didn’t concern them.  However, times are changing rapidly, and our future is about to become more complicated

 This future is already happening, so don’t scoff and think that this doesn’t apply to you.   Planning for old age takes on a whole new meaning if you have to plan for 10 or 20 more years than you had anticipated.

 What would it mean to you if you were told that you might live more than 100 years and still be in good health?  How would that change your life today?   What will you do to keep your life interesting?  What would you do differently if you thought that your retirement years would be calculated in decades rather than a few years?   Will you be happy with the way your life plays out?  Would simply being alive and healthy be enough?

I worked with seniors for many years and most of them were in awe of the fact that they were still alive and in better shape than they thought possible.  They all said that if they would have known that they were going to live so long they would have done things differently. What would you do differently? I would like to examine these thoughts over the next few weeks (input welcome) about what strategies you would use to ensure a good life?   Thank you to The Futurist magazine for reminding us that we still do have a future.

Senior Living: Beyond Grand Parenting

         

Being a mom or a dad and then a grandparent is a lifetime of hard work. Many seniors have been so occupied with family dynamics that they don’t know what to do, or how to act, when that period is over.   It is hard to let go.  Dear Abby fielded a question from a busy dedicated ex-mom/ ex-grandmother the other day.  The woman wrote in asking for help with getting her life back on track.  The troubling question came up because she could sense that her previous role was not only not needed, but not as welcomed as it once was.  Instead of sulking and feeling depressed she wanted to move on, but didn’t know where to start. 

Dear Abby in her infinite wisdom reeled off a list of things to think about.  The list went beyond the usual grand parenting advice about maintaining a working relationship with children and grandchildren.  She was assured that it was okay to back off without having to feel guilty or feel selfish. She can still be available to help out without seeming to micro-manage their lives.

You don’t have to be so busy that you shut others out, but you do want to develop your own interests.  Think back, she suggested, to the interests and dreams that you had before going away to school that first time.  Childhood stopped and it was time to be practical.  You had to go to school to learn how to do something that actually led to a decent job.  Most of the young people I knew trained to be either nurses or teachers.  The rest went off to business schools to learn how to be office managers.  It was the beginning of the sensible pursuits that ultimately led to marriage and family.  Despite a lifetime of being sensible, there were probably a few subjects in High School that you were deeply interested in, even passionate about.  Was it history, or literature, or art work?  For me, it was art.  High School art classes were really fun.  I enjoyed them and actually seemed to have a little talent along those lines.  Art school, of course, was not an option. I remember thinking that “someday” I would be able to pursue my interest in drawing and painting.  That someday didn’t arrive until forty years later.  Has your “someday” arrived yet?

What were your interests from way back then?  Were you in the drama club and dreamed of being an actress/actor, did you want to study photography, paint landscapes or finally read the set of classics that you have been saving?    Do you want to travel, landscape a flower garden, speak a foreign language, start a journal or write a novel?  Your “someday” could be now.

Not everyone wants to be a writer or an artist.   If being a mother, a father or a grand parent was all you ever wanted to do, that is just fine.  You don’t have to let that go.  Dear Abby suggested being a foster parent, volunteering for a literacy program, or being a classroom assistant.  There are many agencies and programs that will allow you to work with children.  Your skills and your love will be much appreciated.

Seniors and Relationships: Grandparents and Grandchildren

  

At times it may seem that grandparents are either “too old” or too ‘old fashioned’ to appreciate the dynamics of a modern family.   Down deep you know that family history and cultural values are important, but you may not know how to bring everyone together.  As a parent, how do you make sure that both your parents and your children feel that they are a part of something truly wonderful?

Being a grandparent should mean more than running a free babysitting service.  The word family implies that a relationship exists, and we all know that relationships take work.  This topic is addressed often in books and newspaper articles so the concept isn’t entirely foreign.  Here are a few suggestions that sounded good to me:

• Invite the grandparents along to the child’s activities.  No one can ever have too many people cheering them on.  Remember to take camp chairs or sports cushions along to make sure bleacher activities are comfortable for all.

• Invite the grandparents to your house rather than always going to theirs.  They shouldn’t have to feel that they have to put on a big spread every time you get together. 

• If the family does gather at your parent’s home, don’t forget to help with the dishes.  Stay at a hotel if you feel that noise and over stimulation will be an issue.  It isn’t just for their sake but for your own sanity as well.

• Find something fun that you can do together.  What about playing cards? The senior centers are filled with people who enjoy playing cards.   Kids like to play too.  Fun has no age limit.   Encourage grandparents to share their passions.  A grandparent who loves to cook or one with a passion for photography would be happy to share skills with others.  An evening of sharing could be an eye-opener at all.

• Grandparents may seem rude and inflexible to teenagers; and teenage angst may be more than a grandparent can stand.  As a third party you need to mediate and remind both that a little give and take on both sides is not only expected but important.

Older people often feel uncomfortable around new and rebellious young people, but perhaps there are two sides to that coin.     Encourage tolerance and communication.   Drawing pictures, celebrating special occasions, writing letters, sending e-mails and mementos are a start.   Vacation together.  Learn together.  Play together.

 

 

Senior Relationships: Grandparents and Grandchildren

 

Relationship columns in the daily newspapers are filled with questions about how to cement solid relationships. The questions are painful as people beg for help to keep or bring families together.   One lady wrote complaining that while her children were physically gone she couldn’t get them to take their “stuff” with them. Most parents have that problem at one time or another.  You are probably still wondering if it is okay to turn the kid’s room into a sewing room or give treasures to Good Will.  Is there a proper time to cut this particular umbilical cord?

Have you ever thought about why their “stuff” is still there?  It might not have anything to do with how much room they have at their new place. Have you thought about what having a home to return to means?  Keeping a room or a box of treasures is like telling them that they still belong.  When I went away to school my sister moved back home with her children.  My room became her room and my “stuff” went to Goodwill because there was no place for it to be.  When I would go home to visit on the odd weekends that I had off, I had to sleep on the floor in the living room.  I no longer had a place.  Well, you guessed it; I soon stopped going home. Of course I regret that now and I wish I had reacted differently, but I felt displaced.   Having a special place for children and grandchildren to call their own when they visit is a lovely way to let them know that they are always welcome.

This all came to mind when I read a delightful article in The Wall Street Journal (Wednesday, March 20, 2013) written by Alina Dizik.  She wrote about a new trend.  Instead of downsizing, some grandparents are renovating their homes to create comfortable living quarters for their favorite overnight houseguests.   In this instant they are talking about their grandchildren.  Basements and attics get the full treatment and are turned into suites of rooms where the grandchildren will feel like welcome members of the family.  This is a different approach than we knew when we were kids.   We were expected to be quiet and unobtrusive.  We were usually bored out of our minds when the grown-ups got together to talk.  It wasn’t fun and we weren’t very old before we started looking for excuses not to visit our grandparents.

So, does the idea of providing a haven for your children and your grandchildren appeal to you? Would you consider creating a suite of rooms that can grow with the children as they age, or accommodate multiple grandkids?  Think about height-adjustable tables and chairs, unisex color schemes, stain proof upholstery and flooring that holds up to spills and tumbles.  The sky is the limit as far as budget is concerned but it is possible to create a haven for the kids without spending thousands.   Your home could be special. It could be a fun and relaxing place for them to visit.

Senior Living: Slips, Trips and Falls

 

A fall can’t always be blamed on personal health issues.   Have you ever been walking along minding your own business, when for no apparent reason you stumble, slip or trip over something?  Of course there was a reason, but it wasn’t something that grabbed you attention and warned you to be careful.   It could have been a rough patch on a sidewalk, grease or food spilled on the floor, a misplaced throw rug, or maybe you just tripped over your own feet.  Slips, trips and falls happen every day.  You can slip if there isn’t enough traction between your foot and the surface you are walking on.   A water spill, food or grease on the floor, or a loose unanchored mat may be all it takes to land you in the hospital.   A trip is a little different.  Your foot hits against an object that probably shouldn’t have been there in the first place.  It doesn’t take much to cause a momentary loss of balance.   Different words but the same result.   You may laugh and feel dumb for not paying attention but a stumble, a slip, or a fall is not a laughing matter.

Falls that occur from other than medical reasons are lumped under the category of “extrinsic factors.”  Extrinsic factors are the things that affect your ability to move around safely, but don’t have anything to do with your health.  Common culprits are throw rugs, unsecured bath mats, clutter, and poor lighting.  Another common mistake is not having something to grab if you lose your balance.  For example, a shower curtain or a towel bar will not support your weight no matter how reassuring they may seem.

People tend to ignores things that are right in front of their noses.  It is hard to be objective about your own home. It is never a bad idea to have a physical or occupational therapist come to your house to make recommendations.  An outsider can quickly see what you do not, and can recommend quick and inexpensive ways safety proof your home.  It is easier to eliminate these extrinsic risk factors than you might imagine.   Let’s look at a few trouble areas, just so you know what I am talking about. 

• Eliminate doorway thresholds and scatter rugs.  Remove clutter, consider railings along stairways (indoors and out) and have wooden stairs carpeted or fitted with non-skid treads. Good indoor and outdoor lighting is a must.  Decide if a ramp or a stair lift would make life easier for you.

• Remove high-pile or shag rugs.  I shouldn’t have to tell you that throw rugs that slide across the floor are a major hazard.  If you really need throw rugs they should be tightly woven and secured to the floor with nonslip adhesive tape.  If you shop around you can find non-skid throw rugs and slip resistant mats, and while you are at it, ask for recommendations about carpeting that is walker or wheelchair friendly.

• Pay attention to the ground when you are walking outside, especially if the area isn’t familiar to you.  Rain, snow, ice, or leaves hide rough patches and/or make surfaces extra slippery.

 Safety-proof your home before a stumble, a slip, or a fall takes the decision out of your hands.  If you think I am over reacting I want you to take a look around your house right now, and then tell me that there aren’t at least six trouble spots waiting to trip you up.  

Independent Living: When A Senior Falls

 

Everyone falls.  Toddlers learning how to walk fall, kids riding bicycles fall, and rough-housing while playing can result in a fall.   We thought nothing about falling down when we were kids or even as young adults.   I’m not sure of the exact day, but somewhere around the time of your 60^th birthday, a fall suddenly becomes a big deal.   It is scary when words like bone density, osteoporosis, and balance become a part of your vocabulary.   If you feel unbalanced at time or are having near falls more often than you should, it is time to familiarize yourself with words like fall prevention and safety proofing your house.

Right now you are probably more concerned about your parents or grandparents than about yourself, but your time is coming too.   A friend of mine got tangled up in a pile of bedding and lost her balance.  She fell and sustained multiples fractures in her foot and ankle.  It took nearly a year for her to recover and get her life back.  She was older, but she wasn’t that old.  A fall can happen to anyone.   Tripping over a dangling bedspread, bobbling when you stand on one foot to get dressed or bumping into bed franes are all signs that you need to start thinking about your balance.  

Why are you falling?  What is going on in your life that makes you feel unsteady on your feet?  Usually it is a combination of environment hazards (how safe is your home), chronic conditions that you may be dealing with, or medications that you are taking.  Some of these issues are treatable so don’t ignore them or suffer in silence.  A few common conditions that can contribute to falls are:

• Arthritis:  Today much can be done to treat or minimize discomfort and disability from arthritis.  Medications, surgeries and physical therapy are known to work wonders.
• Sensory deprivation:  Vision and hearing loss contribute to falls because they affect how you move around our environment. Eye conditions and hearing loss are often treatable.
• Medications:   Studies show that the risk of falling increases with the number of medications you might be taking.  I know people who take 14-20 different medications every day.  It isn’t surprising that side effects and drug interactions often contribute to falls.
• Muscle Weakness:  A sedentary lifestyle or a prolonged illness can result in muscle weakness. Muscle strengthening exercises can make you less vulnerable.  Certain diseases can cause muscle fatigue and weakness, but you won’t know unless you are tested.  Neurological problems can affect stride, balance and judgment.  Parkinson’s disease, recovery from a stroke, and dementia are a few of the culprits.
• Depression as well as substance abuse might be difficult to detect but certainly contribute to falls

When you get older a fall is a big deal.   It doesn’t take much to influence judgment, balance or motor function in an older person.   Worrying about your elderly parent or even about yourself is a good thing.  Stop falls before they happen!

 

 

 

Senior Health: Home From the Hospital

 

Being released from the hospital is a liberating experience.  It is the day that every patient looks forward to.  Getting out of the hospital is less dramatic than getting in, but it requires more thought than you might have imagined.   You should be asking yourself why it is that so many people end up being readmitted within a month after discharge.  Readmission statistics have been so alarming that hospitals are beginning to question their discharge policies.

At the time of discharge many patients are so anxious that they don’t hear what is being said to them.   The transition from being taken care of by nurses and therapists to understanding how to manage on your own is wildly confusing.   What happens?  What happens is that you don’t understand the instructions, forget to make follow-up appointments or don’t fully grasp whether to continue old medications along with the new ones. 

Several of my friends were recently hospitalized.  They both mentioned that they found the discharge instructions confusing.   I know this is true.  I worked in an assisted living facility for many years. I can remember how frustrated I would feel when packets of generic forms were thrust into my hands.  It took a considerable amount of time to sort through those papers, and more often that not, found that they said nothing at all about home care and convalescence.  What happens if you don’t have someone to do that for you?

Transition from an acute care hospital situation back home is difficult.  Discharge instructions arrive within minutes before a patient is wheeled out of the door.  This important part of the process is rushed and misunderstood.  Physician orders get mixed in with patient education forms and you get little chance to ask questions or express your fears.   It is no wonder that these instructions usually end up lost or in the garbage can.

I read an article in The Wall Street Journal (Monday, March 18, 2013) last week that reflected my concerns.  Laura Landro (encore@wsj.com) wrote about how to simplify your convalescence and avoid having to be readmitted.  First and foremost was accepting that recovery takes time.  You don’t get much rest in the hospital so the idea of returning to work or resuming your full schedule should not even enter your mind.  Being in bed for any length of time (especially for a senior) can leave you weak and listless.  Trying to make heads or tails out of your discharge instructions is often the last thing on your mind.   You need to speak up.  Ask for a follow up visit within a few days or even better; ask for a home health visit.   Allow yourself to rest; build up your body by eating well and exercising gently, as you ease into your routine.   Understand that it may take months to rebuild your strength and stamina.

 If you were hospitalized for a major illness, you must understand that you are susceptible to a relapse.  Hospital stays are shorter than they used to be and this is generally thought to be a good thing, but it means that you have to understand that you are responsible for your at home convalescence.