The words identity and crisis are often associated with privacy invasion and financial ruin, but there is another form of identity crisis that older people face when too many changes occur at the same time. An identity crisis of this magnitude is as terrifying as anything the outside world can throw at you.
Your identity is personal. Any radical change in your lifestyle has the potential of turning into a crisis, an identity crisis. Who are you really? You become accustomed to being someone’s spouse, a parent, an employee, or a boss. You identity is wrapped up in what you do; until a change occurs. You lose your spouse, your children leave home and/or you retire from the workplace. Change makes you have to reevaluate your self worth; it is tough when you realize that you aren’t as indispensible as you thought you were. You relished your role as spouse, parent, employee or employer because your job defined who you were. Your job, even if you hated it, made you feel good about yourself because you constantly faced challenges and were always learning new things. It was awesome, but what happens now?
A sense of identity hinges on these very premises; you still need to feel challenged, you still need to learn new things, and you still need to feel you have accomplished something by the end of the day. It isn’t enough to putter around the house, meet friends for lunch, or doze in front of the fireplace. You need to find something to do with your time that makes you feel good about yourself.
How do seniors find projects that interest them enough to make them feel good about themselves? How do they find a new identity? Do you experience a vicarious thrill when you read articles about an 80 year old activist being thrown in jail for storming a nuclear power plant, or read about a 94 year old excelling in track and field? You don’t have to be that motivated, but at least take their lead and find something to be passionate about. What are you going to say when someone asks “what you do?”