Advice columnists get letters from frustrated grandparents all of the time. There is a fine line between knowing when to speak your mind and when to bite your tongue. Although parents and grandparents all want the same thing for a child (safety and happiness) they may have totally opposite ideas about how to achieve them. The hardest part of being a grandparent is relinquishing control, says Valerie Frankle in her article for Parenting magazine (October 2001).
Many things have changed since you brought your own babies home from the hospital. You raised your children without mishap and you probably feel that you are an authority on childcare. Still, it is a wise grandparent that recognizes that each generation goes about parenting in a different way. Parents today are more permissive, indulgent and considerate of their child’s feelings, and that may not be such a bad thing. While I still marvel at the way my mother was able to nurse all of us kids though measles, chickenpox, mumps and a variety of other maladies, it doesn’t mean that I would want it to be the same way now. We had good times and we had bad times. We all made mistakes, but fortunately children are resilient and forgiving too.
New books have replaced the advice of Dr. Spock. You remember Dr. Spock don’t you? We couldn’t have done without him. We even used his book as one of our pediatric text books in nurses training. Well, we made it through once and we may even feel that we’ve “been there and done that” whenever a situation arises, but it pays to have an open mind. There are new theories about childcare now and they are just as good as, or even better than, the way it used to be. Researchers have new theories and new tools that serve to make life easier, better, and healthier for kids today.
The latest AARP magazine (November 2011) had a short but thought provoking article by Christina Lanzito that hinted that new grandparents may need a refresher course. Admit it, experience has a lot to say for itself, but down deep you may feel a little bit nervous about holding a tiny bundle again. It is a wise grandparent who recognizes that a refresher course might not be such a bad idea.
Hospitals and Family Centers are now offering grand-parenting classes that teach all sorts of things that you might not be aware of. Refresher classes can help grandparents brush up on infant care with basics that have changed since they were new moms and dads. The real goal is to have parents and grandparents on the same page.
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