Growing older is inevitable but that doesn’t mean that older people need to be a burden on their children. Whether you live in a care facility or under the watchful eye of a loving caregiver, seniors need to be careful not to have their independence taken away from them.
Sometimes responsible caregivers take such good care of their loved ones that they take away their ability to care for themselves. I was pleased to read an article by Mary Chen (Weekend Mail: Kuala Lumpur March 28, 2004) that agreed with my particular philosophy. She feels that society tends to perceive the elderly as people who are not able to look after themselves. Granted, there is often a very fine line between functional independence and the need for care, but there is a line. A fall or medical complication might be all it takes to pitch an individual from one side of the continuum to the other, but that isn’t cast in stone. Hard work and a common goal shared by everyone involved can restore and promote an independent lifestyle.
Experts attest that children, in their concern over their parents, may unwittingly push them into a state of dependence. Under the guise of doing what is best for them they start micromanaging their lives. The end result means more work for the family caregiver and less autonomy for the individual involved. Total care is seldom in anyone’s best interest. Every time an independent function is taken away, independence is thwarted. It doesn’t take long before the concept of being “old” hits them. Once a person starts to focus on how poorly they feel instead of on what they can do to regain control, it is downhill all the way.
Maintaining independence is a full time job. Physical, mental and emotional states must be nurtured carefully. With proper medical care and healthy lifestyle practices the entire spectrum of independent living can be explored. People need a reason to get up in the morning. They also need to feel that they are a part of the solution rather than just being a problem. If they can no longer drive you can help them explore other avenues of transportation. Getting out and about will help them remain activity in their community. Nearly everyone can learn new skills. It is important to encourage self care and independence. Older people want to retain their independence and they do not want to be a burden on anyone.
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