Is the quest for perfection keeping you from enjoying your retirement? Are your expectations, even in retirement, creating stress? Will you ever be able to kick back and let things just happen?
Perfectionism is the need to be, or a least the need to appear to be perfect. Perfectionists are persistent, detailed and highly organized achievers. Perfectionist set extremely high standards for themselves. If you have always been a perfectionist it may be hard to change. The trouble is that you may no longer have the energy to push yourself every single day.
Perfectionism means you may have unrealistically high standards and expectations for yourself. People who feel this way tend to feel pressured all of the time. Constant pressure can generate feelings of anger, fatigue, excitability, or even cognitive impairment. If you still feel, even in retirement, that you have to be the best grandmother, you have to do the most volunteer work, have the cleanest house, or bake the best cookies, you may be in trouble.
Some people think that perfectionism is the virtue that propels people to excellence. This could very well be, but what if you have never been quite as perfect as you thought you could or should be? I suppose this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but on the other hand it could be a sad thing. You are always setting yourself up for disappointment. Perfectionism is not recognized as an official psychiatric disorder so you may very well be stuck with it. No diagnosis and no treatment, except for good mental fortitude.
How can you curb your perfectionist tendencies? It is one thing to want to get an A on every test, but quite another matter if you think the world is going to end if you don’t. Everyone wants to be good at something and that is an admirable goal. Some people just need a little longer to find that “something”, and that is okay. You might have to settle for a little less, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up. Too many people figure that if they can’t give every project their all, there isn’t any point in trying.
(Song Kyung. M. The Gazette: Montreal, Que. June 7, 2004) reminds us that if you don’t reach your goal today, there is always tomorrow. If you are still a perfectionist you have spent way too much time trying to live up to unrealistic expectations. Isn’t it time to chill out a little? If you always think that everyone else is smarter, prettier, busier or better than you are… who are you comparing yourself to, and why? The idea is to like who you are today.
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