Smart Senior

Senior Living: Positive Thoughts About Aging

If aging brings to mind thoughts of pain, disability and poor health, it is time to update your thinking.   Granted, we all have a few more aches and pains than we used to, but not everyone ends up in a wheelchair or in a care facility.

I am not sure if people who think positively are more apt to be active or if active people are more apt to think positively, but the two seem to be related.   Perception is everything.  How do you see yourself ten years down the road?   Will you be as active and independent as possible, or will you be a grumpy curmudgeon?  Are these later years a downhill slide or the beginning of the rest of your life?  

If you think of aging as a one way trip downhill, your thoughts are more apt to be negative, and you will behave accordingly.   It becomes a vicious cycle.  If you think that aging means infirmity, and your health and memory deteriorate because of this belief, you will cease to try to do anything about it.  If you feel that you are slowing down or falling apart, you will not bother to exercise in order to build up your strength.   If you feel that dementia is inevitable, you will not try to learn new things.  Learning new things, staying in touch with people and finding interesting things to do is what will give you the edge.   What can you do to keep others from thinking that you are “over the hill?

How do others perceive you? How do you perceive yourself?  Did you know that your walking speed is a good indicator of your over-all fitness?  One day it will dawn on you that your spouse, your sibling or your parent is getting old. This realization usually hits when you least expect it, probably when you see them walking toward or away from you.  Slumped shoulders and shuffling feet say it all.  If you want to look as young on the outside as you feel on the inside, you need to straighten those shoulders, stand tall, and quicken your steps.

Let successful seniors be your role models.   Many great authors, conductors, actors, teachers and political leaders are older.   The chances are pretty good that most of them are over 65 (and if they aren’t you have to wonder if their lack of experience is in your best interest).  If they can muster up enough strength to run a country, you should be able to muster up the energy to lead an active and productive life.  Their secret is in how they perceive themselves and how you feel perceive them.  

The book “Long Life Prescription” by Sari Harrar has some ideas that I find I can live with.  Watch your language, she says.   Stop talking about “senior moments”.  Everyone has a brain blip from time to time, they aren’t funny and they aren’t something to worry about.  When my daughter loses her car keys it is called “sensory overload,” so why do I think I have to make excuses when I lose something? The thing is, when you are twenty you don’t go around referring to little distractions as “senior moments”.

I wasn’t sure about why the amount of time spent in front of the television was pertinent, but agree that it could affect how we think about ourselves.  She pointed out that more often than not, older people are portrayed as cranky, unreasonable, forgetful, domineering and unforgiving.  Surely, we are not like that?   The moral of the story is not to think young, but not to think old either.

 

Senior Living: Aging And The Gift of Time

You read articles every day about how people are living longer and are healthier than ever before.   Age sneaks up on the best of us and we rarely take the time to appreciate that Mother Nature has given us a tremendous gift.  I am talking about the gift of time.  Many of us are being gifted with an average of 30 more years than our grandparents and even our own parents were able to enjoy.  How great is that?   

Modern health care and the fruits of a healthy lifestyle have given us the capacity to add additional years to our lifespan.   Our parents were old, or at least we thought they were old, at 40 or 50 years of age.  We are either in serious denial or something wonderful is happening.  Here we are, in our 50s and 60s and beyond, and we are not old! However, the goal is not just to live a long time, but to live exceedingly well.

There are really “old” people doing marvelous things these days.  You see them on tennis courts, running for public office, writing books, volunteering at the food banks, hiking on weekends, and doing hundreds of things that would have impossible even one generation ago.

The one thing that differentials these people from the rest of the pack is that they have stopped viewing aging as a negative entity.  They have been too busy living life to worry about all of the things that they might not be able to do.   Believe it or not, there are more people aging successfully than not.  Do not let visions of declining health, nursing home occupancy, or social isolation mold the way you live your life.

What are seniors passionate about today?

• They want to be able to take care of themselves until the end.
• They want to remain free of chronic disease or learn how to manage them if they do occur.
• They want to have friends who are there for them.
• They want to be able to make choices about things that will affect how they age (diet, exercise, smoking etc.).
• They want to be able to cope with any and all challenges.
• They want to feel satisfied with their lives, at least most of the time.

Today we can reasonably assume that we have a modicum of control over what happens to us.  Even if we didn’t take good care of ourselves (and a good many of us didn’t) we still have a chance.  Sure, you wish you had eaten less junk food, quit smoking earlier, taken better core of our skin and been more mindful about protecting your bones and joints, but it still isn’t too late to do better. 

 

Senior Health and Fitness: Setting Goals and Remaining in Control

Change your mind and your body will follow.  Whether you are talking about losing a few pounds, starting an exercise program, or just figuring out what you want to do with the rest of your life you start by “thinking” about it first.

Believe it or not, says Emily Delzell (Arthritis Today: January/February 2011) it is usually your mind that keeps you mired in one place, and not your body.  Your thoughts and emotions contribute more to your physical wellbeing than anything else.   Learn how to smile and lighten up a little as you decide how to meet any new challenges.

 When you get older to have more time to mull things over, which is a good thing, but you also have less time to waste.  Will power has always been a big issue, and at times a stumbling block as we strive to remain in control.  If you are looking for strategies to get your mind out of a rut, it will help if you understand how will power works.   Will power is the drive.  Will power is what gives you the energy to do things even if you really don’t want to do them.   Will power is what gets you to the gym, or keeps you from eating the cheesecake that you know you shouldn’t have.  Will power is what will help you stay in control, but how do you fine tune that inner voice?   

• Start small: This is the step that does most of us in.  We leap into every projects as if there were no tomorrow.  Our goals are so impossibly lofty that there is no way that we can reach them.  Even your psyche gets tired after awhile.  Most of us are list makers.  If you are like me, your list is always too long.  Tackling too many tasks at once is positively overwhelming.  Experts suggest parceling out those tasks over a week or even a month, if you are a long term planner.  If you are going to start a walking program it is better to start small.  Ten minutes, half a block or whatever you can comfortably do is better than an “all or nothing at all” approach.  . You want to feel a sense of accomplishment each day.
•  Eat small meals.  Believe it or not, will power requires physical energy.
• Recognize what you can and cannot control.  If you expect everything to be perfect, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. 
• Never compare yourself to anyone else.  Easier said than done, but trying to keep up with your kids will be more discouraging than anything you can imagine. Stop beating yourself up.  Focus on yourself and do the best that you can today.
• Information is the key to being in control.  Ask the right questions and be informed.  This is especially true if you have developed a chronic illness. 

• . Be resilient.  Fight back.  Be in control.  Life is good. 

 

 

 

Senior Health Issues: Are You Getting Enough Sleep?

Sleeping aids are among the most prescribed medications today.  This is not a good thing.  What is this obsession over sleep anyway?  Members of my own family, as well as people that I have worked with, have often expressed concerns about not getting enough sleep.  Articles in books, newspapers, and magazines confront us with scary by-lines about what happens if you don’t get enough sleep.  All of these articles have different theories about what we should do, or not do, in order to sleep well.

The latest studies imply that not getting enough sleep will shorten your lifespan.  Seniors are notoriously poor sleepers anyway, so this becomes a real concern. Is it something to worry about?   I finally found an entire chapter about sleeping, in the Reader’s Digest “Long Life Prescription” book written by Sari Harrar and Debra Gordon. The discussion actually made sense.  Of course the suggestions about creating an optimal sleeping environment were the same, but the senior focus highlighted a different aspect.   As one who has never been a good sleeper, I found the information reassuring.

First of all it is important to accept that insomnia is a common occurrence as we get older.   Sleep patterns really do change and the level of the “sleep hormone” decreases, but that doesn’t have to be a harbinger of doom.   You undoubtedly need more time to fall asleep, wake up more often during the night and may wake up earlier in the morning, but getting older doesn’t necessarily mean that insomnia and exhaustion are inevitable.

Sleep changes don’t happen overnight.  They happen gradually, sometimes as early as in your thirties.   There are things that you can do to compensate, but first get a handle on the idea that this is normal physiology and accept it.  You have already accepted that your body will never be quite the same, so get used to the idea that sleep patterns aren’t going to be the same either.  Listen to your body, be sensitive to changes, and start making a few adjustments early on.  If you are sleepy earlier in the evening, don’t fight it.  Accept the change and just go to bed earlier.  You still need 7-8 hours of sleep at night but your pattern may be different.  Burning the midnight oil isn’t for everyone.

It often takes longer for the older body to fall asleep, and that is normal too.  Don’t worry if you don’t drop off as soon as your head hits the pillow.  The thing that reassured me the most is that waking up three or four times during night is normal.  Older people go through their sleep cycles more quickly and wake up between cycles more frequently.  Your body clock may have shifted a bit so if you wake up at 5 in the morning that is okay too.

What about naps.  Naps are a controversial subject but studies show that it isn’t a big deal.  Studies show that a short daytime nap doesn’t have much impact on how well you sleep at night.  If you enjoy a nap and it makes you feel more energetic by all means take one.  Experiment, listen to your body and decide.

There are dozens of suggestions for improving nightly sleep and I imagine that you have read them all before.  Do what works for you, but first and foremost understand that changing sleep patterns are normal.  If you think your sleeplessness is more problematic that, don’t self medicate.  If you think you need sleeping pills, it is a sign that you should see your doctor.

 

 

Senior Health and Fitness: Is Your Diet Making You Old?

I have a hard time resisting the quizzes that pop up in mainstream books and magazines.  I took one the other day that I found in the Reader’s Digest “Long Life Prescription” book by Sari Harrar and Debra Gordon.  The topic heading asked whether my diet was making me old.  I think I flunked. I’ve always been conscientious about what I eat and I thought I was the most health conscious person in the family.  However, if the scores that I racked up were any indication, I may not be doing as good as I thought I was.

The first question was fine because I really do opt for oatmeal or high fiber cereal with low fat milk for breakfast.  I like dairy products so no problem there.  I also know enough about osteoporosis, bone density issues, and compression fractures to make sure I get plenty of calcium.    What about whole grains?  I don’t like brown rice but have discovered marvelous breads that have 6 grams of fiber in each slice.  I was pretty proud that I had dairy and fiber pretty well covered.

That sounds pretty healthy don’t you think?  Unfortunately as the questions probed deeper I had to admit to a few shortcomings.   I must admit that my fruit consumption is limited to the occasional apple, a glass of orange juice or a banana, which doesn’t quite cut it, so I only gave myself a 2 (on a 1-3 scale).  What about vegetables?  Well, V-8 juice is good when I think about it, and I try to fix a salad and a vegetable for dinner, but not always, so I could only credit myself with a 2 here too.  

Who would think beverage choices would make a difference?  Of course the optimal choice would be water.  I do a glass drink a glass of milk once or twice a day, but seeing that milk wasn’t once of the choices, I had to circle the coffee or hot tea category, and again that one is only a 2.  I am trying for some 1’s here.

I like my chicken grilled or done on a rotisserie (but oh, the skin is so good).  I do know enough to avoid the battered and fried version, but am not quite noble enough to go for the sliced (without skin) mixed in with salad greens.  So, I could only give myself a 2, again.

I even failed the vitamin test.  I have a weird sensitivity to vitamin C so taking a multivitamin is out of the question. Vitamins are not a part of my life (I get busted to a 3 on this one).

I have to admit that my grocery cart is not always chocked full of unprocessed foods, such as fruits, vegetables, eggs, juices and raw meats.   I don’t do all boxes, cans, jars and precooked meals, so feel I don’t feel too guilty.  I do end up with a mix of fresh foods, some packaged and even some frozen foods, but not good enough to earn me a 1. 

We are pretty lame about formal sit down dinners too. We are often guilty of eating in front of the television or with a book in hand.   I am somewhere between a 2 and a 3 in this department.

What about snacks (of course we eat snacks)?  I try to go for a handful of nuts but a piece of candy or a few chips might sneak in from time to time.  Sigh, I gave myself a 2.

You have probably figured out by now that you get high points for scoring 1’s so I am not too pleased.  When I tallied things up I found that I fell into the modestly healthy (but not doing much to prevent disease or add healthy years to my life) category.  Really not good enough, so I guess that I have to take this eating thing a little more seriously.  My diet is too low in fruits and veggies.  I do okay with whole grains and calcium and try to buy things with no added salts and no added sugar.  Do, I feel tired and moody…maybe, I don’t know.  I hope it isn’t too late to do better.  Does anyone else have this problem?

 

 

Senior Health and Fitness: Worry Less About Losing Weight

It used to be that being pleasing plump was a sign of good nature and good times, but at some point in our recent past that belief changed.   Now, it is commonly believed that in order to be healthy one has to be youthful looking and very lean.  Not surprising, I suppose.   Most of us have been dieting off and on since our teen years.  We grew up being obsessed with diets, mirrors, and belly fat.  It is hard to let go of that image.

Despite insurance company claims that we need to be rapier thin and have the blood pressure readings of a ten year old, the equation isn’t quite that simple.  Researchers are saying that calorie cutting during those formative years has set us up for bone fractures, weak muscles, and ultimate weight gain now.

It is time to get a grip on our “cosmetic culture” and start using a little common sense.  Researchers say that significant weight loss, whether intentional or not, can be life threatening after age 60.  They aren’t referring to people who are morbidly obese, but to the average person who has never been able to achieve the perfect weight.    It now seems that maintaining a certain amount of body weight will make you more robust and healthier later in life.  Surprisingly, even minor weight cycling or yo-yo dieting (from 5-8 pounds) is not particularly good for you. 

Losing weight means that you also lose muscle.   Older adults have less muscle density and losing weight accelerates this process.  If you lose 10 pounds dieting to fit into a dress for daughters wedding, you are losing 5 lbs of fat and 5 pounds of muscle.  Less muscle can affect balance, flexibility and strength.  Ergo, this is not a good thing.   Then there is the bone density thing.  If you are seeing your doctor regularly you have probably been asked to get a bone density scan.  Older women, who have lost weight, also lose 5-32% of their bone mineral density.  Your scale doesn’t differentiate between one type of pound loss and another.  Most studies seem to refer to women but I have seen a lot of men who don’t look all that robust either.

So what do you do?  You have been programmed to hate extra pounds, but you don’t want to do anything to threaten your health either.  The best plan (Reader’s Digest Long Life Prescription by Sari Harrar and Debra Gordon) is to focus on eating for good nutrition and disease prevention, rather than on shrinking a dress size.  I don’t need to tell you that exercising to build muscle and stimulate bone density is more important than just not eating.  If you are determined to lose weight anyway you need to proceed with care.  Your health care team is standing by to help you make the right choices.

 

Senior Living: Are You Still Trying To Be Too "Perfect?"

Is the quest for perfection keeping you from enjoying your retirement?  Are your expectations, even in retirement, creating stress?  Will you ever be able to kick back and let things just happen?

Perfectionism is the need to be, or a least the need to appear to be perfect.  Perfectionists are persistent, detailed and highly organized achievers. Perfectionist set extremely high standards for themselves.  If you have always been a perfectionist it may be hard to change.  The trouble is that you may no longer have the energy to push yourself every single day.

Perfectionism means you may have unrealistically high standards and expectations for yourself.   People who feel this way tend to feel pressured all of the time. Constant pressure can generate feelings of anger, fatigue, excitability, or even cognitive impairment.   If you still feel, even in retirement, that you have to be the best grandmother, you have to do the most volunteer work, have the cleanest house, or bake the best cookies, you may be in trouble.

Some people think that perfectionism is the virtue that propels people to excellence.  This could very well be, but what if you have never been quite as perfect as you thought you could or should be?   I suppose this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but on the other hand it could be a sad thing.  You are always setting yourself up for disappointment.  Perfectionism is not recognized as an official psychiatric disorder so you may very well be stuck with it.  No diagnosis and no treatment, except for good mental fortitude.

How can you curb your perfectionist tendencies?   It is one thing to want to get an A on every test, but quite another matter if you think the world is going to end if you don’t.    Everyone wants to be good at something and that is an admirable goal.  Some people just need a little longer to find that “something”, and that is okay.   You might have to settle for a little less, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up.  Too many people figure that if they can’t give every project their all, there isn’t any point in trying.

(Song Kyung. M. The Gazette: Montreal, Que. June 7, 2004) reminds us that if you don’t reach your goal today, there is always tomorrow.    If you are still a perfectionist you have spent way too much time trying to live up to unrealistic expectations.  Isn’t it time to chill out a little? If you always think that everyone else is smarter, prettier, busier or better than you are… who are you comparing yourself to, and why?  The idea is to like who you are today.

 

 

Senior Living: A Garden Is Good For You

Gardening is good for you, and it is a hobby well worth cultivating. Groceries are expensive and produce seems even more expensive than most items.  We all complain that produce doesn’t taste the way it used to.  Let us use the lowly tomato as an example.  Organic or not, tomatoes don’t taste the way they did when we were kids, picking them vine ripened and sun warmed from the garden.  We would eat them right there in the garden with the juices dripping from our chubby chins. Mom would serve them in salads, make escalloped tomatoes, or serve thick slices with a dusting of salt or sugar. They were so good.  I haven’t tasted anything like that for a very long time, have you?

It could be that our memories are faulty, but do you really think so?  It bugs me that I have to pay $1.38 or more a pound for the pale pink blob that is passed off as a tomato these days.  The Farmers Markets do better and the produce is somewhat local, if the other side of the state counts as local, but they still cost an arm and a leg.   You hardly dare buy more than one at a time least they spoil before you can use them.  I don’t know what bothers me more, the price or the fact that they just don’t taste the same anymore.

Gardening may indeed be the answer.  Think of gardening as a rather complete form of exercise, not to mention that you actually have something to show for your efforts.  You probably haul more weight and do more squats than you ever do in the gym.   Gardening is good for your health.  Gardening is one way to make sure that you eat your vegetables.  Who can resist fresh green beans and peas still in the pod?   Be adventuresome; try something new like kohlrabi, pumpkins, asparagus, strawberries and salad mixes. 

Limited space?  Make the most of limited space by planting a mini garden plot by your front door, in pots on the balcony, in hanging baskets and in window boxes.  If you want to expand a bit more you can rent a small plot at the community garden.  Some people find digging in the dirt soothing.  There aren’t a lot of solitary, meditative opportunities anymore (except housework of course; we all know how everyone disappears when that subject is broached).   We don’t even need to mention the financial benefit.  Now that produce is sold by the pound and each apple has a sticker on it…well, it costs a lot of money to eat fresh.

It is a good time for experienced gardeners to share their expertise and enjoy the fruits of their labors as well.  Older people need to consume fewer calories while increasing the amounts of healthy nutrients.  This isn’t easy to do when your interest and your appetite aren’t what they used to be.   Gardening might be a good way to rediscover how good food can taste again.

 

 

Senior Living: Aging or Anti-Aging: Is The Best Yet To Be?

You would think that we would be used to the idea that everyone grows old by now, but somehow that idea never sets well.   I noticed that there are more visits to websites that include the words “anti-aging” than there are to the ones that suggest that you might want to do it well.   I am upset that one of my favorite magazines, while professing to be a magazine for “mature people”, has become fixated (as are most other publications) on the idea of preserving and recapturing youth.  The articles in the latest edition were about flatter bellies, thinner thighs, losing weight, identifying age defying foods, and featured a “defying your age challenge”.  The ads had the words “repairing signs of aging”, “having 10 years disappear”, “instant treatments for face and neck”, “fighting the signs of aging”, and “midlife makeovers”. Granted, the magazine still had some informative and interesting articles, healthy recipes, and a super exercise section, so I guess I will forgive them, until the next time.  What I wonder is where are the self help articles about aging gracefully, taking care of yourself, and loving who you are right now?

I want to see inspirational how-to articles about being in control and about aging gracefully.  Norman Vincent Peal was good about telling people how to live in the moment, but precious little advice has been given about that since.  It is easy to marvel at the people who move into retirement with the single minded purpose of living creatively, engaging in new activities, reveling in fresh accomplishments, and maintaining a zest for living.  It is a mind game at best.  Senior years can be an exciting adventure or a boring monotony.  Most of us fall somewhere in between.

The self help gurus will tell you to think positively.  Only you can stop the mindset that labels you as “over the hill,” “out of the loop,” or “out to pasture.” You can make yourself think positively.  Remember “The Power of Positive Thinking?”   When you were younger you perceived yourself as terribly busy and nothing moved quickly enough.  Now that you are older the opposite happens. You start to feel like you are “running out of time.”   Both perceptions are counterproductive. The experts tell you to live one day at a time.  It is a good theory.  If you can make the most of each day, you might be surprised at how much good you can do.   They all seem to agree that helping others is the best way to reinvent yourself, because it takes your focus off from your own problems and your own issues.    Helping others is easier than you might expect.  There is much to be done.  The hardest part is choosing what to do and how to get started.  All of the creams and potions in the world will not help you age gracefully.  Aging gracefully is much more involved.  I would love to hear from people who have truly found themselves.

Senior Living: Importance of Independent Living

Growing older is inevitable but that doesn’t mean that older people need to be a burden on their children.  Whether you live in a care facility or under the watchful eye of a loving caregiver, seniors need to be careful not to have their independence taken away from them.

Sometimes responsible caregivers take such good care of their loved ones that they take away their ability to care for themselves.  I was pleased to read an article by Mary Chen (Weekend Mail: Kuala Lumpur March 28, 2004) that agreed with my particular philosophy.  She feels that society tends to perceive the elderly as people who are not able to look after themselves.   Granted, there is often a very fine line between functional independence and the need for care, but there is a line.   A fall or medical complication might be all it takes to pitch an individual from one side of the continuum to the other, but that isn’t cast in stone.   Hard work and a common goal shared by everyone involved can restore and promote an independent lifestyle.

Experts attest that children, in their concern over their parents, may unwittingly push them into a state of dependence.  Under the guise of doing what is best for them they start micromanaging their lives.  The end result means more work for the family caregiver and less autonomy for the individual involved. Total care is seldom in anyone’s best interest.  Every time an independent function is taken away, independence is thwarted.  It doesn’t take long before the concept of being “old” hits them.  Once a person starts to focus on how poorly they feel instead of on what they can do to regain control, it is downhill all the way.

Maintaining independence is a full time job.  Physical, mental and emotional states must be nurtured carefully.   With proper medical care and healthy lifestyle practices the entire spectrum of independent living can be explored.  People need a reason to get up in the morning.  They also need to feel that they are a part of the solution rather than just being a problem.   If they can no longer drive you can help them explore other avenues of transportation.  Getting out and about will help them remain activity in their community.  Nearly everyone can learn new skills.  It is important to encourage self care and independence. Older people want to retain their independence and they do not want to be a burden on anyone.