The word relationship makes all of us think about how men and women relate to each other, but relationships go far beyond the dating scene. Relationships are for “all people.” It is important to nurture social relationships at every age. Researchers remind us that maintaining healthy relationships are important for physical, mental and emotional well-being. Lisa M. Petsche (Northwest Prime Time: April 2011) reminds us that staying “connected” is good for us. As people grow older they find that it is takes an effort to remain socially connected. If you are bored with your identity or going through a transition, such as divorce, widowhood, retirement or illness, it is difficult to remain upbeat. You scolded your kids and sent them out to play when they had the nerve to complain of being bored, but who is around to remind us that we need to go out and play?
Kent Healy (Orange County Register: Santa Ana, California. November 9, 2006) writes that the cure for boredom is curiosity, which translates into an “eagerness to learn more.” Now is not the time to stop learning. The more curious you are about the world around you, the more interesting and exciting your life will be. That makes sense. We are all born with a measure of creativity and a boundless amount of curiosity about everything. What happens to that sense of adventure? Curiosity can fade as you grow older. The trick is to keep re-igniting that flame. When you rekindle that spark the world will become an interesting place again.
So how do you make this happen? Edna McGaffey (San Antonio Express-News: San Antonio, Texas. January 101992), suggested tips, gleaned from Dr. Ruth Harriet Jacobs, about how to keep yourself from being bored. The article is nine years old but the words of advice are still relevant today.
- Look for ways to have a good time.
- Develop strategies if you are bored or going through a major transition in your life. You may want to consider moving to a new setting, going back to school or becoming active in a cause. Look for new role models. Take group vacations.
- Find a creative solution to your problems. Keep a journal, try new foods and cook something you have never cooked before. Go places you have never been, get a pet, volunteer or find part time work.
- Consider sharing living quarters so that you are surrounded by other people. Take in boarders, travel; take advantage of community services, house sit or babysit. Take in an exchange student for a semester; rent a room to a student. Surround yourself with young life.
- Develop units of belongingness, such as religious affiliations or a support group. Now would be a good time to become a part of your neighborhood network.
- Rethink how you spend your time and who you spend it with. Be with other like minded and stimulating people.
- Find ways to amuse yourself. Treat yourself well.
- Look for ways to handle bereavement.
The author estimates that by the time most people reach 65 they have about five chronic conditions that nobody wants to hear about. What she is saying is important that you focus on something else except “poor little me”
The North-West Prime article takes a similar viewpoint and stresses that you need to get out and around people every day (join a dinner club, fitness center or a bowling league, sign up for classes and get involved in your community). Reach out: take the initiative and invite friends over. Be the one to organize dates with friends. Get to know your neighbors, reconnect with family and old friends and do nice things for others.
You don’t always have to be doing things with others. Cultivate some solitary pastimes. Hobbies enable you to enjoy your own company while at the same time give you something to talk about in social situations. Forget being bored and forget feeling sorry for yourselves.
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