Smart Senior

Senior Living: Aging Your Way

 Aging is inevitable, but loss of health isn’t.  Everyone gets older, but not everyone becomes debilitated by disease or illness.  We tend to see the negatives instead of the positives, but if you look around you there are many wonderful seniors doing their best to make a difference. 

People can avoid or reduce the effects of illness and the diseases associated with aging by making healthy changes as soon as possible.  Successful aging is not any different than having a successful childhood or a successful adulthood.  It is a learning process, every step of the way.  The only difference is that you now are older and wiser and have better coping skills.  An article by a staff writer for (The Daily Post, NZ: October 10, 2000) outlines some of the areas that you can be in control of.

What is the difference between the grandma in a wheelchair and the grandma hiking in the Alps?  Genes get the blame for a good many of the differences but studies show that nutrition, hydration, and both physical and mental activity play a role in how well you are able to roll with the punches.  Let’s look at a few things that you can have a reasonable amount of control over:

Nutritional changes:  Proper nutrition is often challenging for an older person.  As you get older you need increased levels of certain nutrients.  The hardest part is that you aren’t as hungry as you used to be.  Adding extra servings of all the right things is not as easy as you might suppose. In actuality you probably should have a handbook on nutritional needs at every age.    Many older folks have difficulty finding the right balance.  Without proper nutrition it is difficult to fight or reduce the effects of disease. There are dozens of reasons why you might have trouble so seeking professional guidance is certainly an option.   

Dehydration:  I have worked with people who, with the exception of a few cups of coffee a day, don’t drink any other fluids at all.  Older people often don’t feel thirsty because the mechanism in the brain that signals when you need water doesn’t function as well.  A surprising number of people restrict fluid intake voluntarily because of bladder issues or because of the diuretic effect from certain medications.  Dehydration can cause problems ranging from headaches to digestive problems.  Alertness, ability to concentrate, and decreased energy levels have all been attributed to dehydration.

Depression:  An older person may feel depressed because of suppose system loss, relocation, or long term illnesses.  If you are experiencing loss of interest in things that you previously enjoyed, social withdrawal, decreased activity, lose of appetite, weight gain, insomnia, fatigue, restlessness or feelings of worthlessness you need help. 

As you can see, aging successfully entails study and homework.  You didn’t think you were just going along for the ride did you?

 

 

 

 

Independent Living: Home Security

Two of the biggest issues associated with independent living revolve around home security.   How safe are you?  What measures are you willing to take in order to live safely in your own home?  Security refers to both home and personal safety.   As people get older, their home security needs change.  Family size dwindles and sometimes people are off vacationing for longer periods of time.  Ultimately one spouse has to face the prospect of living alone due to death or serious illness in the family.  Because of forgetfulness or other reasons; older people are more apt to face risks from home invasion, fire and from falls.    We no longer live in a day and age where home security is a given.  Many seniors grew up in communities where strangers were welcome and no one locked their doors.  Neighbors kept an eye on each others and someone would actually miss you if they didn’t see you every day.  Communities are different now.

 The world of home security has taken on a whole new dimension.  Modern technology serves as more than just an intruder alarm.   If an older family member needs extra monitoring for health reasons smart systems are available to send messages to designated family members.   It can be a simple as letting you know that mom hasn’t opened her pill box or refrigerator door, or as complicated as monitoring for fire, carbon monoxide levels and medical emergencies. These systems are relatively affordable and can be an enormous sense of relief.  There are even more sophisticated all-inclusive monitoring systems that operate by sensing motion in every room of the house.  This may seem a little much, and it may seem a little intrusive, but if it means you can continue to live in our home it is may be something that you are willing to deal with.

Erin Hernandez (Advocate: Baton Rouge, La. April 22, 2005) offers some practical suggestions about home security options for seniors.  There are many ways to make a home safer and some of them can be initiated on your own.  If something more sophisticated is required, you will find that many home security companies offer plans specifically patterned to meet senior home owner needs.

Besides electronic systems there are many ordinary ways to increase home security. Everyone doesn’t have to have a house full of sensors to monitor health and well being, but practical measures are still a good idea.  The author recommends having locks and deadbolts for all doors and windows. Door chains and deadbolts are not just something that you see in movies.  Leaving the key under a flower pot or a mat isn’t something from the movies either, and both should be discouraged.  Use timers for lights and radios for when you are away.  Use a visible burglar alarm and security lighting.  Have a peep hole in your door and opt for sturdy hardwood or metal clad doors. Glass door panels should be of reinforced glass. Trim hedges and bushes to eliminate places where burglars could hide.   Be a good neighbor.  Join or organize a Block Watch Program in your neighborhood.  Home and personal safety is important if you want stay in your own home.

 

Senior Living: Change Can Do You Good

Old habits die hard but that doesn’t mean that people can’t change.  Older people sometimes get stuck because they feel that things were better in the “old days.”  We all know that belief isn’t necessarily true.    Perhaps change isn’t as typical in an older person but that doesn’t mean that it can’t or won’t happen.  The key is whether you want to change or not.   

Life is a developmental process and nothing stays the same for very long. Survival has always relied on the fact that people have been willing to make changes in order to adapt to the world around them.  Change is inevitable.  Think of yourself as a work in progress.  After new ideas and possibilities are presented to you it is your decision about how you want to respond to them.  You are free to say “yes I will “or you can stick to your guns and say “no.”  The best and most lasting changes are voluntary. You cannot be forced to embrace change against your will.

Dorothy Foltz-Gray (Arthritis Today: May/June 2011) writes that change can do you good, and she hits the nail on the head.  People, she admits, don’t like change, especially when the necessity is brought about during a time of turmoil.  One change, however, can lead to more changes.  Most people need to make some adjustments to their beliefs and to their lifestyles from time to time.  A life changing event or diagnoses tends to make you sit up and listen.  When someone threatens that “if you don’t change you will die” it tends, at the very least, to make you more thoughtful.  A generic statement that says if you don’t make lifestyle changes you will suffer the consequences is all well and good, but it often doesn’t make much of an impact until something does happen.

When people start making new choices because of a new life situation, they find that they can indeed change if they have to.  Going through a major health crisis is the often the wake-up that something needs to be done.  It isn’t a bad idea to visit your family tree to see what chronic problems might be in your future.  Often a little tweaking (also known as making a few changes) can keep you in control.

 Experiment:  Experiment with new and positive changes.  Let others support and help you.  Surprisingly you are not alone in this endeavor.

Start with small risks:  Get out of your comfort zone.  If you are willing to take that first step you will find that change adds an element of excitement to your life.

Go with the flow:  Try to avoid too many conscious rules.  There is no one more impossible to be around than someone who makes each change an issue.  Don’t bore your friends or expect everyone to adopt your personal mantra.   It is one thing to make changes and another to have changes impressed on you.

 Find changes where you still feel an element of control. Your doctor may tell you to exercise more, but you can find a way that is fun for you.    Find elements of change that bring joy to your life.  Change should revolve around you being in charge and you having choices.

Senior Fitness: Exercising As You Get Older

Everybody knows that exercise is good for you.   Giving your doctor a vacant look when he mentions the “e” word isn’t going to win you any brownie points.  If you want to enjoy good health and independent living you are going to have to learn how to take care of yourself.   Exercise is a “big deal” when you get older and it is going to take an actual plan to get the most out of your efforts. 

The good news is that you don’t need to do a vigorous workout at the gym every day, but you do need to figure out how to put together 30 minutes of moderate activity on most days of the week.   It doesn’t have be all at once, so if taking three walks a day instead of one works better for you, that is okay.

Peta Bee (The Guardian: London, UK. February 6, 2007) cautions against being a weekend warrior.  Squeezing all of your physical activity into a two day marathon puts an unbelievable strain on the body, which seniors can hardly afford, and is not going to achieve your fitness goals.

Get some instruction.  You may scoff, but it is possible to teach an old dog new tricks.  Join a gym or a walking/running club where you can get expert tips to ease you into action.  A professional will help you plan a program so that you will not hurt yourself.

Balance your activities.   Aerobic activities, flexibility and resistance work are all important.  Your goals are difference now.  You are working toward strengthening your bones and muscles to keep you mobile and independent.

Stick to the 10% rule, which means that you shouldn’t try to increase your activity by more than 10% at a time.  You don’t go from walking one block to one mile in a day.  It is more important than ever to build up to fitness gradually.

Remember to rest.   Allow your body to recover and adapt to your new activity level, especially if you are trying something new.  Pushing yourself too hard and too long is not a good idea.

Remember to warm up until you break into a light sweat and stretch gently.  Your muscles and joints aren’t as resilient now and an injury could be just a heartbeat away.  The older you are, the stiffer your body gets and it is important to prepare your body before you workout.

Take a class.  Because a class is a defined length of time, there is no chance you will not be tempted to push yourself to the limit.  There is also an instructor to keep an eye on you to make sure you are not exceeding your capabilities.

If you play a sport it is good to take a lesson from time to time.  Your rusty old fashioned technique or equipment may be predisposing you to injury.  Use good (up to date) equipment, especially your shoes.  Age related changes make older people more vulnerable to injury.

Last but not least, don’t forget your age.  The important thing is to listen to your body.  You will not be able to dive in, no matter how much you practice, and do the same things that you could do 10-15 years ago (a bitter pill to swallow).  You are not as sturdy or as flexible as you once were and you may not be able to tolerate the same types of activities.  Modify your fitness program to meet your current needs and abilities.

 

 

 

 

 

Senior Fitness: Social Aspect of Exercise - You And Your Dog

 It isn’t as easy as one might suppose to find a friend who shares your interest in walking, or any other forms of exercise.  Out of all of the friends, co-workers, and family members in my life, there haven’t been any that have truly shared my passion for health and fitness.  I’ve discovered a long time ago that my dog was the best bet.   A dog will never whine or complain or say no.  Not only that, but a dog won’t let you whine, complain or say no either.

A dog brings out the social aspect of exercise too.  Most dog people are nice people.  People will talk to you if you have a dog and even if they know the dogs name better than your own, it is still a friendly feeling.  Even if the walk ends up being more of a social event than exercise, it is good for you in so many ways.

Walking a dog is one of life’s simple pleasures, says Cathy Rosenthal (San Antonio Express-News: San Antonio, Texas. April 20, 2003).  Basically the dog is walking you.  They are great social icebreakers and pet owners engage in more social interaction than other people.  When you walk with a pet, everyone smiles, makes eye contact and says something to your dog, if not to you.  You may have noticed that if you are walking solo that few people even acknowledge you as they pass you by.

I hope you aren’t one of those people who walk with a cell phone glued to your ear.  You end up being so absorbed that you miss the opportunity to enjoy nature, talk with friends along the way, and truly enjoy the outing for its own sake.  You owe it to yourself and to your dog to have some bonding time together so leave your cell phone at home.  If your outing isn’t enough exercise you can do the socialization part on your way to or from the trail and jog and power walk later.

The only thing to detract from this experience is if your dog is more in control than you are.  If you are dealing with painful hands or vulnerable elbows and shoulders you don’t want a dog pulling away from you on a long leash.  Curb that tendency to pull in a hurry.  You can sign up for some obedience classes but in the meantime there are some very good no-pull collars and harnesses on the market that can keep your four-legged friend from taking you for a walk.  I use a Gentle Leader Head Collar that wraps around the neck and muzzle (like a halter on a horse) and can walk a Wolfhound mix and a Saint Bernard without and trouble at all.  A harness works in much the same way and enables you to steer the dog from the chest.

 

 

Senior Living: Building Self Esteem As You Age

The issue of self esteem rears its ugly head long before people reach senior status.  An astounding number of people grow up feeling that they will never be quite good enough to make a mark in the world.   People who are psychologically stronger perceive this as a challenge and are able to break out of that mindset. However, the rest of us go through life wishing that we had more self confidence.  Confidence to do certain things, achieve certain goals, to speak up and be more visible.  These are emotions that thousands of people feel every day.

 From childhood on, too many people grow up believing that they need the approval of others (external factors) to determine how they feel about themselves.  Your level of self esteem truly impacts every aspect of your life and it is something that has to start on the inside and work its way out.   Wisdom is something that comes with age, but unfortunately confidence is not.  You can be strong and you can fight back.  You are not your parents.  It is not too late to give your confidence a boost.  Vowing to be strong and independent is something that you can do to give yourself a lift.

Camille Noe Pagan (Arthritis Today: May/June 2011) writes that self confidence can flag as you get older and she discussed ways to rebuild it.  Studies show that self esteem declines around the age of retirement and people with health problems have lower self esteem than others.   Chronic illnesses tend to impact how you feel about yourself. .   If you are not working or caring for family members, you may feel as though you aren’t needed any more.

 The author recommends getting out of your comfort zone and focusing more on pleasing yourself instead of worrying about what others think about you.  Focus on what you can do and do your tasks to the best of your ability.  You don’t always have to be perfect in order to make an impact.   Much of the way you feel about yourself is the result of childhood experiences that have been reinforced as you got older.  If you were taught that you had to be perfect it isn’t surprising that a hint of failure made you feel less of a person.   Take care of yourself first, feel good about everything thing that you do and take your talent, whatever it might be, and let it shine. There are so many groups that would welcome your expertise whatever it might be.  Social contact and physical activities will make a positive difference in how you see yourself.

 

Relationships: Nuturing Relationships With Adult Children

The Herald ran a beautiful article by Sharon Naylor (Creators.com: Thursday, April 21, 2011) about nurturing relationships with adult children.   People live such hectic and driven lives these days that they lose track of the people who care for them the most.  Your children may live across the street or across the county but if your lives don’t intersect, you may be missing out on something pretty special.   You see a lot of articles these days about fostering relationships between grandparents and grandkids, but not much attention is paid to helping people connect with their adult children.  Adult children have feelings too, and they don’t automatically become self sufficient robots when they move out of the family home.  It isn’t unusual for adult children to feel replaced or forgotten once they have children of their own, especially if you are enthralled by the idea of being a grandparent.  It is fine to fawn over a grandchild, but think how fun it might be to reconnect with your own children as real people too.

Families belong together but it isn’t something that happens by remote control.  Special care needs to be taken to nurture family relationships.  You can tell by letters written to advice columnists that dysfunctional family relationships are alive and well.  It takes time and it takes work to have a relationship, any relationship.  Someone has to make the effort and it shouldn’t always be the same person reaching out.

You already have a shared history and concern for each other but have you taken the time to explore mutual interests, and try doing some things together.  The author refers to author Susan Newman (Under One Roof Again:  All Grown Up and learning to Live Together Happily)”, and was obviously impressed by her observations.  Mutual interests could prove to be the springboard for developing a relationship, but you will never know if you don’t ask.   People often tiptoe around issues instead of speaking out.  If you keep too many things close to your chest it makes it difficult for others to find their way into your “inner circle.”

The author stresses how making time to spend with your adult children reinforces how important they are to you.  Just because you have known a child since birth doesn’t mean that you know them now.    If you are lucky enough to live in the same community:

• Have breakfast or lunch together at a time when it is just the two you.
• When attending the grandkids sporting events sit with the whole family and enjoy the camaraderie.
• Cook together.  Don’t you envy the big family meal gatherings on the television series Blue Blood?  Have some family time together.
• Get some exercise together.
• Go to a show or a sporting event together.  It is different when you can go without the youngsters.
• E-mail daily or call once a week.  Create a ritual that shows that you are always in their thoughts.

Don’t be critical.  Learn how to talk about things that really matter, not just about the kids activities.  No drama, no pressure, just times when you can enjoy each others company.

Senior Health Issues: Gentle Hand Exercises

I found an article by Linda Melone (Arthritis Today (May/June 2011) about giving your hands a fair shake.  We tend to take our hands for granted until they let us know that enough is enough.   The pain and stiffness often associated with overworked hands is a true senior affliction.    Degenerative joint changes or other hand issues can make it difficult to perform even simple tasks.  Everyday tasks like brushing your teeth or unloading your dishwasher become quite challenging.  It is not unusual for hand joints and wrists to become painful and stiff from trauma or repetitive stress, but it still catches us by surprise.

We stretch and exercise every other part of our bodies so it makes sense that our hands might need some attention too.   If you find yourself rubbing painful finger joints or shying away from a handshake, you are coming to fully appreciate the importance of truly dexterous hands.

The author, after consulting with hand specialists, suggested soaking the hands and wrists in warm water, and then doing a series of hand and wrist stretches.  They aren’t that hard and they are something you can do anywhere to relieve the cramping in your hands.  Hold each position for a count of two to five and be careful not to hurt yourself.  These are stretching exercises and they are supposed to feel good.

• Prayer Hands:    Palms together, fingertips pointed up and elbows out to the side with your forearms parallel to the floor…like you are praying.
• Back-To-Back:  Start in prayer position, and then reverse your hands so that the fingertips point downward (the backs of your hands together).
• Fingertip Stretch:  Bring hands together in front of your chest, touching the fingertips together.   Point fingers away from your chest and gently press fingertips together.

It feels good and you have probably done these stretches quite unconsciously before.    Stretching feels good and will relieve the stiffness and make your fingers more flexible, but it may be time to think about other ways to give your hands a break.  You may have noticed that while painful hand joints may get better, the likelihood of recurrence or residual pain is often here to stay.  I can grip a tennis racket again and I can pick dishes up out of the dishwasher, but my hands will probably always be sore when I wake up in the morning.  Fortunately there are many products on the market to help you modify daily activities to cut back on stress.

 

 

When Couples Retire: Where Are You Going To Live?

An article in The Wall Street Journal touched on as aspect of retirement living that I hadn’t thought of before.   Kathleen Hughes (The Wall Street Journal: Monday, March 21, 2011) wrote about what happens when couples don’t agree.  The operative word in the equation is “we.”  What if your dream about where you want to spend the rest of your life isn’t that the same dream that your spouse has?  This, the author asserts, may be the trickiest and most troublesome issue that a couple has to face when it is time to retire. 

Couples of and near the “baby boomer” generation are more apt to be faced with this question.  Lives filled with college and career opportunities of a global nature have made our generation a mobile one.  People today don’t have the same sense of community that came from growing up and growing old in the same place. A family consisting of two career persons has different dynamics than one where one person works, and the other is in charge of the home.  It isn’t surprising that after years of developing their own styles that Mr. and Mrs. (if they even share the same name) harbor different dreams about what retirement will be like.  How are they going to resolve their differences?

Compromise is ideal when it works.  The trend may be toward living in different places, while remaining married (married living apart).  Well, that doesn’t sound good, but if you can afford two different residences and spend time in each, it may be what happens.  Why should one person always be the one to concede and just go along for the ride?   The best way to handle this situation, according to Dorian Mintzer (Couple’s Retirement Puzzle) is by starting to talk about the issue long before the actual gold watch presentation, and hopefully come up with a shared vision.  If one person wants to live in the city and the other wants to retire to a small town or live near the ocean there might have to be two houses, or a city that is near the ocean or a village that is near the city.  This isn’t always possible but if one spouse has to concede everything there is going to be a lot of dissatisfaction in the marriage.

Retirement used to be a male transition and it was taken for granted that the wives would accommodate.   Now that women are taking the lead and want to plan what comes next, the focus shifts. There is now a “his and a hers” point of view about what is going to happen next, and it catches a lot of couples by surprise.

Finding a way to compromise is something that is going to take some getting used to.  Rediscovering your spouse and respecting each others dreams will be an important discovery.  It is something that needs to be mulled and considered long before retirement actually arrives.

Leaving A Legacy Through Art: The Quilting Bee

A lot of people feel that they “don’t have a creative bone in their bodies,” but that isn’t necessarily true.   You may not be able to create a masterful oil painting or write a memorable poem, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t have a story to tell.

Several of my friends have turned to quilting as a way to express their creativity and tell their stories.  When one quilter ran out of beds to cover and walls to display her art work she turned to quilting coats, table runners, vests, skirts and tote bags. I think I would like to have one of those vests, how about you?

Pat Burston (Newsday: Long Island, N.Y. October 30, 2010) writes about crafters who quilt, whether by hand or machine, and the limitless possibilities for self expression.  An artist is an artist no matter what medium they use to convey their message.  Quilting can tell a family story or be given to honor special events such a marriage or a new baby or to comfort a soul.

Your first exposure to quilting may have been at your mother’s knee, a visit to a quilting museum, or maybe just a trip to a local fabric store.  Quilting isn’t just a way to use up fabric scraps (which is probably a good thing because a lot of us no longer sew) but it a unique way to capture memories that are important to you. 

The idea is not to think of quilting as just “busy work” but rather a process of self-reflection.  Answer questions such as what is your favorite color, what were your most rewarding accomplishments or what message would you like to convey?  Narrowing down to a specific theme might be the hardest part of the entire process.

While some quilters lean toward tradition designs, there are those who like to go all out.  You can experiment with different colors, different fabrics, or even use hand-painted fabrics and photo-transfer techniques in your work.  It may take hours, days, or months to finish a single quilt, but it will be the work of a lifetime.   Many quilters keep their quilts in the family but a good many groups lend their time and their talents to charity auctions, hospitals, homeless shelters and nursing homes.

It is never too late to start something new.  Find a class or join a group.  You will enjoy the camaraderie as well as the wonderful finished products.  No two quilts will every turn out the same.  Please don’t let this age old craft become a lost art.