If you have never been a warm fuzzy person because of low self esteem or if you are just an introvert by nature, you may not have many close friends. This is not necessarily a bad thing but it does mean that your social network is small and most likely getting smaller as you age. Living alone and growing old are not predictors of loneliness, but keeping loneliness at bay may become a real challenge if you have always been shy and quiet. You do need to recognize that social connections are important to your health and well being.
The key to keeping loneliness from ruining your life is to educate yourself and seek help. The AARP article by Brad Thompson (November/December 2010) about “all the lonely people,” studied the impact that loneliness has on health and happiness. He shared several tips on how to keep loneliness at bay:
- Make an effort to nurture the relationships that you do have. Don’t wait for someone to call you. Take the first step, reach out and let your friends and family members know that you are thinking about them. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder.
- Internet connections are good, but don’t substitute if for all of your contacts. Face to face over a cup of coffee or a Margarita is still better.
- Take time to volunteer. Not just any old volunteer job, but something that you are really interested in. Do not settle for doing any task just to fill time. Sign on for something that you feel passionate about, whether it be working in a shelter or teaching someone how to read.
- Join a social club or community organization. Something political, a book club, a fitness group, The Red Hat Society or whatever peaks your interest. You need to get out with likeminded people and learn how to have fun again.
- Stay in touch or re-establish a connection with a former colleague. Reconnect with a high school buddy, your roommate in college, or old friends that you might have lost track of. Old age is a great equalizer.
- Educate yourself about loneliness and help others.
Loneliness is not uncommon. Don’t wait until you are older to make and maintain positive connections with family and friends. Unfortunately many have let this happen, and it is going to take considerable effort to repair these loses.
An article published in the PR Newswire: New York: April 1, 2008 shared similar pointers from the Mental Health America. They deal with the ramifications of loneliness every day, and they ask people to reestablish social networks for their own sakes. The best form of support will always be your family and your friends. It may be time to bury a few hatchets and rediscover each other. Connect with coworkers if you are still working. Be the first one to speak or share a plate of cookies. Connect to community members; shifting your orientation from yourself to the needs of others is a positive step. Connect with yourself. Take time for yourself; learn to like yourself whether enjoying a hobby, joining an exercise class or learning how to meditate. Spend quality time doing something that you enjoy.
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