A chronic illness is defined as a permanent state of health that significantly changes how you are able to perform your usual activities. More than half of the senior population has what is classified as a chronic illness. A few common examples are arthritis, osteoporosis, diabetes, heart disease or a variety of neurological diseases like Parkinson’s disease.
Depressing as this news may be, you can be reassured that you are not alone. How do you cope when faced with the fact that your life will never be the same again? With any progressive disease, your losses will be many, including appearance, strength, coordination, energy, communication, mobility and your roles and responsibilities in life. It is not unusual for unaccustomed disabilities to put a strain on your relationships with others, especially if your feel that increased dependency is embarrassing or just too sad to bear. It goes without saying that your natural tendency is to withdraw as you face a full gamut of emotions that center around fear and frustration.
I found an article by Lisa M. Petsche (The Cleveland Jewish News. Cleveland, Ohio: December 9, 2005). The article is five years old but has some timeless suggestions about not letting your chronic illness side track you. I thought they were worth sharing.
Isolation is deadly for you. It is often difficult to cope, even during the best of times, if you don’t have someone to talk to. Now is not the time to try to work things out on your own. Relationships need to be formed and nurtured because you definitely will need a support system.
Recognize that it is difficult for your family and friends too. They want to help but often feel helpless and confused, and they will look to you for guidance. People want to help but they don’t know what to say or do to make your pain go away. Let them know what you need and how you want to be treated. They need to know, disability concerns aside, that you are still the same person that they have always known and loved.
Accept help. There is nothing more disturbing than a person who shrugs off offers of help by insisting that they don’t want or need anything. People like to feel needed and it will make them feel good, and it will make your life easier, if you accept the “good will” that is offered.
Take the initiative when it comes to calling friends and relatives to arrange get-togethers or even just to talk. Forget the poor me scenario and make the first move. Make it easy for people to get in touch with you by e-mail or use an answering machine. Keep a cell phone in your pocket. Keep in touch with out-of- the area family members by calling or writing regularly. Other people may not want to intrude. If they don’t hear from you and they may feel reluctant to disturb you.
Find someone that you can talk too, someone who truly understands what you are facing. Find a support group and join a society that researches your area of concern. Read inspiring articles in magazines such as Arthritis Today, Diabetic Living, Heart Healthy and other publications. On-line message boards and chat or discussion forums make information and support available. Finding a way to be active in an organization can give you a great sense of satisfaction.
Be interested and interesting. Do nice things for others and allow others to do nice things for you. Get a pet. Cats and dogs provide companionship and affection, and if you qualify for an assistance dog, even better. Seek help from your doctor or counselor if you feel sad and overwhelmed. Depression is a real problem for people who feel that their lives have been dealt a cruel blow. Seek help and learn everything you possibly can about your condition. Life must go on.
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