What's In A Name: What Should We Call People in Their Middle and Later Years?

Name calling and labels matter at any age.  Older people write to advice columnists because they don’t like being called by their first names, or they don’t like being called “honey” or “dear,” and they don’t like references being made about their age.  I always thought that was rather silly until I met an ARNP at my doctor’s office who kept using the phrase “people in your age group”, instead of talking about me, and I didn’t like it.  So, I guess labels and names do make a difference.

 

A magazine article by Marilyn Gardner, a columnist for The Christian Science Monitor (August 8, 2007), had some interesting feedback about how older people felt about the names being used for people over 50.

 

We resented being called babies, or kids or teens or even young adults as we moved through life and it isn’t any different now.   The names in themselves help define how we feel about ourselves and can be given a negative or a positive spin.  I guess it depends on whether the speaker is smiling when they use them.  Nevertheless the question remains about what we should call people in their middle and later years.  People are very careful these days about being politically correct and not offending anyone, so surveys have been conducted to determine how seniors feel about being “labeled.”

 

The top choice for a neutral or general term was “older,” but as most of us still don’t think of ourselves as “old” it is a hard pill to swallow.  The second generic term settled on was “seniors,” although not to be used for people younger than 65.

 

The term “baby boomers,” is no longer acceptable because people of that generation aren’t babies any more.  “Boomer,” they decided, was deemed to be okay.  “Seniors” was thought to be acceptable, but most participants disliked the term “senior citizens.”

 

 The term “Elder” was okay because it is associated with respect as in council of elders.   “Elderly”, on the other hand, is the term that grated the most because it was thought to sound impersonal, not to mention that it brings up the image of frailty and decline. 

 

Journalists feel safer using references such as “people over 50,” or people “65 and up,” but 65 years olds are far from feeling that they need to be put in any age category. The problem is that generalizing and labeling everyone brings up negative images.  Even adding the word “still” when describing someone implies that their looks or activities are a little out of the ordinary.  It is like the first time that someone said you “still” looked good, instead of just telling you look good, and then tacked on “for your age.”   References to age aren’t funny anymore and what about when someone describes an older person as spry, chipper, sweet, or feisty?  Using the world “senior moment” subtly implies that simple forgetfulness is relegated to older people, when anyone can have a memory lapse. 

 

The search goes on for better words to describe a whole new generation of vibrant and interesting people.  People don’t want to be lumped into an age group anymore, especially when the term older can refer to anyone from age 50-100 or more. Words do matter and they should be used carefully to convey a sense of dignity and respect.  People who are older want to be taken seriously and treated in the same manner as anyone else.