When I studied Growth and
Development during my early years of nurses training and Psychology 101, one of
the basic developmental principles was to focus on what a child can do, and
then build on that, step by step. It was
a sound principle then and it is still a sound principle today. We focused on early childhood growth and
development, but on closer examination I find that those beliefs are just as
relevant today. After all, we grow and
develop throughout our entire lifetime.
K. Eileen Allen, in her
delightful book “I Like Being Old,” reminds us that you can still find
satisfaction by focusing on what you can
do rather than on what you can’t. The author is 90 years old and is still
working hard on making the most of aging. Change is inevitable and you need to
be able to face that fact and adjust accordingly. Look for new possibilities and stop bemoaning
what used to be. Your limitations are
most likely here to stay and you will have to learn to live with them.
If you can no longer do the
things that you used to do, it is okay to grieve your loss, but don’t get stuck
there. It is a bummer when aches, pains,
decreased vision, loss of hearing or changes in mobility keep you from doing
the things that you loved to do.
Alexandra Kummernes and Glenda Fauntleroy (Arthritis Today, May/June
2010) examined new ways to keep your passions alive by learning to explore some
alternatives.
For example: If you used to enjoy tennis, bowling, golf or
other highly physical activities, it probably boiled down to the fact that you
just plain enjoyed the camaraderie and competition. The chances are pretty good that at least
some of your friends are in the same boat that you are in, so you might investigate
the idea of game nights for your social entertainment. Nintendo Wii tennis, golf, bowling or other
physical simulations might to be fun, and card championships are enormously
popular with seniors.
If you have a creative bend
but can no longer indulge in woodworking, drawing, pottery or other artistic
endeavors you can expand your horizons in the same genre. Study art history or volunteer to help with
craft fairs and art shows. Developing an interest and volunteering at a local
museum can keep your enthusiasm alive.
If gardening was your
passion but it is becoming too physical, you can learn by studying horticulture
education or volunteering at an arboretum or botanical garden. Keep your passion alive by sharing your
experiences with others.
I like to hike so my passion
is related to outdoor adventures. If you
enjoy hiking, rock climbing, snow shoeing and the like, you can still enjoy the
out of doors by RVing or car camping. Involvements
with the Arbor Day Foundation, championing a wildlife federation or working
with national park foundations are examples of ways to channel your energies.
Adapt. Figure out how you can turn your interests
into something positive, even if you can’t be quite as physical as you were
before. Read, explore, smell the roses,
and learn to enjoy comparable activities with a similar appeal. Focus on what you can do.
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