The number of families with
more than one generation living under the same roof is at its highest point in
50 years. The current economic crisis
has sent many Americans reeling. Whether
due to job loss, college grads coming back home, single parents trying to cope,
or figuring out how to care for aging parents; the family is coming together
again.
It makes me sad when older
people express that they don’t want to be a bother to their children and even
sadder when families live 3,000 miles away and never visit. No one should be made to feel that way or be
that alone. I was pleased when I read
the article in The Seattle Times this morning (March 18, 2010) by Donna St.
George, about the trend for extended families coming together again. The benefits are often way beyond finances
for many.
The idea is on how to do
this while maintaining your sanity and keeping peace in the family. Appreciate that everyone brings something
unique to the arrangement and hopefully difficulties can be ironed out through compromise
and conversation. Surround yourself by
people that you love and who love you.
People are coming back to the idea that they need each other more;
whether it is for child care, eldercare, financial support or emotional
support. Sometimes it is just the right
thing to do.
Families come together for a
variety of reasons. Many times it is
about care-giving or childcare but it nearly always has to do with
economics. Rather than downsizing you
may actually be looking into an upgrade.
If you are inviting several generations of your family to move in you
are probably going to need more room. If
possible it would be nice to give each family a wing or floor to
themselves. The trick to successful
cohabitation is to give each person their own space. Sit down and talk, figure out a game plan
before the actual move occurs. Be
respectful of each other and do not take advantage of grandma always being
there for childcare etc.
Is your house going to work for occupants of
all ages? Is it childproof? Can you
accommodate someone who might have trouble with stairs or a slippery
bathroom? Decide how the living spaces
in your home will be used. Everyone
needs to have their own space and everyone should be able to live their own
lives. Even grandma needs to have time
to see her own friends, continue with outside activities and enjoy some
downtime on her own.
Having multiple generations
live in the same house can be difficult so it is important to find a
balance. It will take an effort to make
it work. The key to living together is
open communications. Discuss everything
from finances, to child or elder care, to chores and kitchen management. Keep to routines, encourage interaction
between all family members and make sure that everyone has fun together.
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