Human beings are not meant
to live alone and the saddest thing in the world is watching a loved one
withdraw and isolate themselves from others. When you are working a great deal
of your social stimulation comes from your job, but when you retire that part
of your world shrivels up. It is going to be up to you to reach out and develop
a new social network. It is very easy to
slip into an “I don’t care” and “why bother” attitude as you wait for the world
to beat down your door. The world isn’t
going to come to your door. It is up to
you to put some effort into developing some new interests and relationships.
As the years go by it gets
harder and harder for seniors to maintain friendships. Friends move away, move into nursing home or
other care facilities, struggle with physical problems or just plain die.
Because we live in a highly
mobile society we lose touch with friends.
No matter how good our intentions we tend to drift away and lose contact
with old friends. If you are lucky you
at least stay in touch with a Christmas letter.
Is there someone out there that you remember fondly and wish you could
connect with again? We have many
acquaintances and even pseudo-friends during the course of a lifetime, but if you
have lost contact with a “real friend” it is a sad thing. Fortunately, if you have access to the
internet you can find search sites to help you find them (ask your local
librarian to get started).
Your social world gets
smaller and smaller unless you make an effort to do something about it. Join a senior center (ask a friend to go with
you or go by yourself) and make new friends.
There are a lot of folks out there with similar histories and similar
interests that you might really enjoy.
Time spend reconnecting with other people has the potential to enhance
the quality of your own life, as well as giving someone else a lift. A friend gives you someone to talk to and to
reminisce with. A friend helps you
remember what it is like to have fun. A
friend helps you maintain a sense of continuity with the world around you. Having a friend will make you less self
absorbed. You will be less apt to feel
sorry for your situation if you open yourself to the joys, trials, and
tribulations of others. Having a friend
to confide in helps an older person cope more effectively with problems (like
having a therapist).
Go where you can find other
older adults. While you don’t want to
surround yourself with older people to the exclusion of others, you will enjoy
communicating with others with similar histories. Make a point of checking out your church or
temple groups, volunteer organizations, adult education classes, senior centers
and adult day care centers. I’ve heard
some seniors say that they don’t want to be around old people and that is
sad. We all become old people. It is great if you don’t feel like you are
there yet, but you can use that opportunity to be there to help someone who is.
If you are housebound due to
physical illness or lack of transportation you can still keep in touch as phone
partners, pen pals and e-mail buddies.
Encourage letter writing, journal keeping, get on-line, and make an
effort to find new friends as well as stay in touch with old ones. Be brave; look into eldercare chat rooms and
discussion groups. All older people are
not “old and you will be surprised how easy it is to keep in touch with people
these days. Do not sit alone in the
dark. Make a friend. Be a friend.
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