It is hard to watch someone spend an hour just
getting dressed in the morning, but this simple activity can give a senior a
great deal of pride and a sense of accomplishment. It will be tempting at times to just do
everything for him/her but your acts of kindness may very well undermine
his/her feelings of independence.
Remember that everything that you can do for
yourself makes you feel good about yourself.
It is more important to learn new ways to be independent than to have
someone else do everything for you. There
are many gadgets available today that can make activities of daily living easier.
These gadgets are known as assistive
devices and you and your senior can shop together to find the ones that work
best for her/him. Learn how to use them.
Work together with your senior and help make independence a goal.
Above all, do not allow your senior to become
sedentary because this is the worst thing that can happen. Ask the doctor about a course of occupational
therapy to help them compensate for their lost skills. Consider a class
teaching your elder how to fall and how to get back up. You will undoubtedly meet resistance but if
you can break down that communication barrier and share common goals, the
battle is half won.
Visit your elder with an
eagle eye toward safety issues. Have a
meal together at least once a week and talk about family, shared interests and
current events. There is no reason why a
senior can’t remain interested and interesting, but sometimes it takes more
than a caregiver can give. It takes a
village (or at least a family).
Studies show (Eldercare for
Dummies by Rachelle Zukerman, PhD) that when they are allowed (and encouraged)
to control their environments, seniors are healthier, happier and more alert. The
years piling up are depressing enough but it is the loss of control that people
fear the most. It is important to
include them into decision making instead of just doing everything for them
because it is easier, or because you have some misguided ideas about what is
best for them.
Last but not least…learn how
to listen, and encourage your senior to talk. Encouraging them to share an oral
history (consider recording, or jotting down notes and scrapbooking) and you
can share in a real treasure. Ask them
what it was like living during the depression or where they were during
significant historical events. You don’t
have to read gigantic tomes to relive the past…you have the past alive and well
right in your own family.
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