I read an interesting
article by Sue Shellenbarger in The Wall Street Journal (Wednesday, December
23, 2009) this morning. The topic under
discussion was about having a nice midlife crisis. She wrote about a 44 year old woman who felt
that she was approaching her personal “period of dissatisfaction” and what she
decided to do about it.
The article made me think
about how and why a midlife crisis could actually occur at any stage of your
life. Once you get past the idea that
you need to be in the middle of something, you can examine the periods of
restless that have occurred in your lifetime as periods of crisis. Feelings of unrest can assail you at any
time. Remember when you were up to your
eyeballs in diapers, graduating from school, marriage, divorce, or even facing
retirement? Any period of your life
where you felt that you were losing control is fair game.
Generation X or the Baby
Boomers are now entering midlife, whether this be in their 40s, 50s, or
beyond. I guess this depends on whether
you are planning on living until you are 80, 100 or even more. It all boils down to the feeling that you
have less time ahead of you than behind, and you are wondering if this is all
there is.
Midlife Crisis used to be a
term that simply justified reckless self indulgent behavior, but the current
generation is determined to give it a more positive spin. By anticipating these feelings of unrest they
are comfortable with the idea of turning them into something positive (a time
to reassess life goals and plan a new course).
I maintain that this can occur
at any age. Think of it as your last
chance to become the real you. Boomers
are rejecting the idea that “middle age” is a time of decline and want everyone
to feel that it is a time to be creative and innovative instead. The term midlife crisis is still a popular
one, and we will probably never get past that, but try to think of it as one of
many periods of transition.
The author lists some
insights about how to turn your crisis into something positive:
- Plan a step-by-step transition. Before burning all of you’re of bridges,
start building a new one. Take small steps and think of changes you can
make to make your life more satisfying.
Find something that you like to do and work slowly and steadily
toward a new goal. Don’t hang in
there doing something that you hate, feeling that retirement or death is
the only way out.
- Integrate old passions. Go back to your core, she says, and tap
into old interest and passions.
Integrate old passions with new skills.
- Stop being a door mat and assert yourself. Instead of losing your sense of
direction, admit your dissatisfactions and take responsibility for
changing your course.
- Honor your creative side. Rediscover old talents and passions and
figure out how you can mesh them with your new goals.
Learn how to deal with your
particular periods of crisis, no matter what they are in the middle of, and
grow and experience new things.
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