Often people spend years
making financial preparations for when they retire, but fail to give any
thought to what will it will take to give their lives meaning after they leave
the work force. Financial security is certainly
up there at the top of the list but it is only the tip of the iceberg. No
matter how well prepared you are retirement is an important milestone or
transition. Most people have a passing
knowledge of the transitions associated with grief management, but fail to
recognize that their entire lifetime has been a series of transitions. Think of a transition as a process of
changing from one phase to another. You
have already experienced periods of transition when leaving home to go to
school, getting married, moving to a new home, changing jobs and all of the
other big changes in your life.
What is it that makes
retirement so difficult? Every other
aspect of your life has been watched and applauded by family, community and
friends. This time you are on your own. When you clear out your desk for the last
time, the world as you have known it for the last 40 or more years is
over. You lose structure, influence,
power, daily commitments and even that dreaded daily commute. Even your relationships with your spouse will
be different as you start to spend more time at home. Everything changes and you will not be ready.
Erick Sundstrom, PhD. In his
book “My Next Phase,” divides this transition period into specific phases
(relinquish, recess, redefine and re-engage) which I found rather insightful. Once you recognize that these phases exist
and know that everyone experiences them, you can get ready to move on.
- Relinquish the past. This means disengage, end former
behaviors and emotionally accept that you are no longer a part of the work
force. It all seems so final and it
can be quite overwhelming. It is
okay to feel old and depressed for awhile but concentrate on letting it go
and focus on looking forward instead of backward.
- Recess:
the next step is to take some time off to rest and recharge your
energies before taking the next step.
At a certain point the honeymoon will be over and you will feel a
need to do something with a little more meaning.
- The third step is to redefine yourself: Identify what you want to do with the
rest of your life and make a plan.
Try out a few ideas and see if anything gels. You don’t want to be just filling your
time with busywork; you need to continue learning and growing as an
individual. Even golf will get old
after awhile.
- Re-engage:
After a period of trial and error you can isolate some goals, make
a plan of action, and move in a specific direction. Your age and life experiences will be
helpful and hopefully you have a better idea of what you want to do with
the rest of your life. If you
don’t establish yourself now you will find that you are at the mercy of
others and that is not the way an independent thinker, such as yourself,
wants to spend their days.
Rather thought provoking,
don’t you think? It is important not
to get spend too much time in or get stuck in the initial phases. Work through the whole process the same way
that you did when other changes occurred.
Continue to think of yourself as a work in progress and go on from
there.
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