Smart Senior

What Do You Do When Driving is no Longer an Option?

 

Dear Abby is alive and well, and still offering up tried and true advice that makes us nod our heads in approval.

 

A very wise son (Carl in California) wrote in to share a plan that he came up with when his mother was no longer able to drive.

 

Of course, mom was devastated when it became apparent that it was no longer safe for her to be behind the wheel.  His solution was to sell her car and put that money in an interest bearing account.  He then contracted with a local cab company to provide transportation for his mother whenever she wanted to go somewhere.  Instead of charging her a fee per use, they billed the son (including the gratuity so that she didn’t have to worry about giving a tipping).  In addition, they agreed to carry packages and groceries to her door or to wait for her if she was just making a short trip.

 

Needless to say this was a huge success and she was able to share rides with her friends too.  Hopefully many readers will buy into this idea and consider doing something this thoughtful and practical for their favorite seniors. 

 

I think we all know how hard it is to be house bound.  I know I have separation anxieties when my car is the body shop for an afternoon of maintenance, so I can appreciate the idea of being at someone else’s mercy every time I want to go somewhere.  It doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that you don’t need to go anywhere in particular; it is just the idea that you can’t that is bothersome.

How Long Has It Been Since You Picked Up a Pair of Knitting Needles?

 

I am willing to bet that it has been a couple of years, maybe even ten or twenty, since you picked up a pair of knitting needles.   Winter always brings back memories of warm nights in front of the fire with visions of afghans and booties in mind.   What could be more fun than refreshing your skills by taking a knitting class?  Kristi O’Harran brought up the idea in her column for the Herald (Friday, October 30,2009) when she wrote about a group of ladies who meet at the Stillaguamish Senior Center to work their magic and make hand crafted items for  various homeless shelters.

 

The blurb from my senior center says that the instructor can fix almost any mess and teach you everything you need to know about knitting.  The only knitting project that I have ever finished was learning how to make along green scarf as a Girl Scout project when I did as a stint as an assistant leader, but the spirit is always willing.

 

A friend of mine has been enjoying a similar pursuit and she was kind enough to write a note about the class that she is taking, and I would like to share the experience.

 

“Every Friday I go to my knitting class at the senior center. There are six of us and we are all learning new stitches.  We have a lot of laughs as we muddle our way through mistakes and dropped stitches, due in part to our fingers not being as nibble as they once were.  We take a snack and the center provides beverages so we make an afternoon of it and a good time is had by all.

 We are making hats, mittens, scarves and blankets for babies that we donate charity.  The Santa Claus at our apartment complex gives each child a hat, a pair of mittens and a scarf.  Mom gets a blanket for the little ones.  No child goes without these necessary items.  They also keep a big box in the office that any child can come and help themselves to if they need them.  I have made 6 of each and am working on my next set while watching my favorite shows.  I really enjoy the class and it is nice to know that someone can use what we make.  We have a fun time socializing and actually make some very nice things.  It is easy to give money and store bought items but somehow knitting, sewing and quilting seem much more like gifts from the heart.”

 

What Do The Words Independent Lifestyle Mean to You?

 

 

There seem to be two kinds of people in the world, those who like to be waited on and those who are fiercely independent.  Which one are you?  Do you really want to be one of those little old people in a care facility who has to be dressed every morning?  Will it make you feel good to be patted on the head and told how cute you are?  Ah, come on.  It doesn’t have to be like that, but it will be if you don’t sit up, take charge of your life and really work on developing an independent spirit.

 

Care facilities are great places to age in place, but keep in mind that the staff is very busy.  It is easier for them to dress you than it is for them to stand around and hand you things so that you can do it yourself. Don’t let this happen! The entire staff will love you if you let them, and they will help you and even do what they think is best for you. You need to know that even if the word assisted or independent living or home is included in the title, you will no longer experience independence as you now know it.  It is up to you to decide if you are going to let this happen or if you are going to fight to maintain your independence.

 

Some of the most creative geniuses of our time did their best work after the age of 50 or 60 or 70 or beyond which tells us it is not to late to try new things and be successful.  You too can be one of those people to stand up and show the world what old age is all about.  You can tackle anything.  You might not move as quickly as you used too but that doesn’t mean you have to sit back and watch the world go by.  People with a positive attitude and who feel like they still have something to contribute are the ones who live long and healthy lives.

 

Even if you have friends and family nearby, you should fight for and work hard to stay as independent as possible.  It takes a great deal of self determination and self sufficiency to do this.  Taking care of yourself (even if it means allowing physical and occupational therapists teach you how) is paramount.  Learn how to do things for yourself and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment that it will give you.  You may not be able to do things the same way as you used to but that doesn’t mean that you can’t do them at all.  Resist having other people do things for you if with a little bit of effort you can do them yourself.  Resilient people can take care of themselves.   This means being in charge of your day-to-day life.  Learn how to enjoy your own company and practice problem solving on your own before asking for help. If you do need to ask for help make sure that you are part of the problem solving team.

 

 

Can Seniors Change Both Their Minds and Their Lifestyles?

 

Attitude is everything!  How you feel about yourself in regards to your health, financial well-being, age, and achievements says a great deal about how successful your retirement can be.

 

Being a senior does not mean that you cannot continue to change and to grow.    Your body tells you that you are getting older, but there is a fine distinction between being “old” and in being older.  On the inside (and this is the part that matters) you are still the same person that you were at 26, 36, 56, 66 or beyond, and this means that change is still possible.

 

Whether your goal is losing weight, exercising more, eating a healthier diet or learning how to handle stress, you still have the capacity to learn and change every single day.  You have learned from experience that making changes is difficult but now is not the time to give up.  Hopefully you grit your teeth every time you hear someone use their age as an excuse not to bother (you know, the old “what’s the use,” saga).

 

Accept setbacks and recognize that your brain is resistant to change.  Change is risky because it takes you out of your comfort zone, which is what makes maintaining the status quo very tempting.   It is important to recognize that you can strive to be better than ever before.   Change is a slow gradual process and the idea is to focus on how these changes will help you.  Reward yourself often.  Revel in your successes and enjoy the sense of control that you are taking over your life.

 

Learn how to deal with the pain and fatigue that accompany chronic conditions associated with aging.  Accept that you may not be able to work long hours whether at your job or in the garden.  Paying attention to your needs does not mean that you can’t do things as successfully as you used to, but it does mean that you may have to bend a little.  You may need to rest more, eat better, and spend more time maintaining your body that you used to but that is perfectly acceptable.  The idea is to use your mind more and your body less (we probably should have thought of this earlier on).  Focus on what you can do instead of what you can’t do.

 

Everyone has the capacity for making changes, no matter what age they are. Life continues to offer choices if you care to take advantage of them. Challenge yourself mentally and physically on a daily basis.  Yes, you can change and for the better.

 

 

 

Are You A Compulsive Hoarder?

 

Not a week goes by when we don’t read an article in the paper about some little old senior citizen living in what we think is squalor or living amidst dozens of animals?  You probably shake your heads and wonder how could this be?

 

Well, it can be and it isn’t as unusual as you may think.  The Wall Street Journal ran an interesting articled by Melinda Beck on October 20, 2009 (does the fact that I still have this article on my end table mean I am a compulsive hoarder?) called “Supper Savers:  Helping the Hoarders.”

 

Everyone accumulates too much stuff, which is why there are hundreds of books and articles related to learning organizational skills, but when the accumulations get out of control there is actually a name for it.  Psychiatrist call it compulsive hoarding.  I find it rather comforting when I learn that there are names for things because once identified, can help be far behind?

 

The article mentions that as much as 2% of the population meets the criteria and is made up of some very bright and savvy people that you would never suspect of having this problem. Psychologists are just now beginning to understand what motivates this behavior and mull on how to help them.

 

The experts draw a fine line between hoarding (thank goodness) and other forms of mess.  Collectors and disorganized people are generally able to clean things up and welcome offered assistance.   Hoarders, on the other hand, resist help and turn a blind eye to the chaos around them.

 

Some hoarders show signs of dementia, depression, attention deficit disorders or even delayed stress disorders.  Others simply have trouble making decisions and fear they will need or want particular objects at another time.  Some people are excessively frugal and don’t want to waste anything, some are creative types who want to turn toilet paper rolls into dolls and the like, while some collect recipes in hopes of having time to turn out gourmet repasts at some time in the future.

 

Most hoarders don’t consider their living conditions to be a problem and the mess bothers other people more than it does them.  Treatment has to be handled very carefully.  Now that this disorder has a name we know that deep seated psychological issues are involved and expert counseling, patience and understanding may be in order.    There are even professional organizers that have training and experience to work with compulsive hoarding.

 

If you have a hoarder in the family who resists all suggestions and plans for intervention you can at least be proactive enough to minimize the dangers that excessive hoarding can present.  Accept that the hoarding is likely to continue but inspect often to be sure that doors and stairwells are clear and papers are kept away from heaters etc.   Several books were mentioned in the article (“Digging Out” by Michael A. Tompkins, “buried in Treasures” by David Tolin, and Compulsive Hoarding and Acquiring Workbook” by Gail Steketee).  There are also Web pages that should be helpful such as (www.childrenofhoarders.com).